Why Go To Therapy in San Diego

The truth is, there are many reasons to go to therapy and no one reason is better or more worthy than another. Here are ten reasons that you might want to start seeing a therapist:

marriage therapist

1. You have experienced something traumatic and don’t know how to talk about it with anyone or how to work through it.

Often traumatic events and experiences can have a profound impact on our lives and can disrupt how we view ourselves and the world around us. A trauma-informed therapist, including our therapists here at Estes Therapy, will know how to help you make sense of what has happened, deal with trauma triggers, and begin your healing journey. Here’s an article that gives you a little better idea of what trauma therapy may look like: https://estestherapy.com/trauma-therapy-works/

2. You’re experiencing trouble in your relationship(s)

Relationship here could mean any of your relationships – romantic, family, work, friends, etc. Some therapists specialize in working with couples, families, or children. Check out some of the other blog posts we have on what therapy can look like for couples: Benefits of Couples Counseling (You can read the article here.), 7 Signs You Need Couples Counseling (read the article here); Child and Teen Counseling (Read more here) , or Family Therapy in San Diego (Read the article here). Here at Estes Therapy, we have therapists who specialize in each these areas, and can work with you and those you care about!

3. You’ve been noticing a change in your moods or motivation

Sometimes a change in moods or motivation can be a symptom of depression, anxiety, or something else. If you are finding that these mood changes are interfering with your life and are impacting how you engage with others, it may be helpful to get some support from a therapist. A therapist can help you explore what may be behind your mood changes and connect you to other resources if needed.

4. You’ve experienced a loss

Grief is normal after experiencing a loss and grieving does not look the same for everyone. Sometimes when we experience a loss, we cope with it by distracting ourselves, working more, or crying. Some people may feel disconnected from others in their life or feel like life is not worth living without the thing that was lost. Due to COVID-19, many of us have recently experienced losses, whether it has been missed birthdays or graduations, missing out on holding newborn grandkids, cancelled travel plans, or the death of a loved one. It is okay to be sad about these things. A therapist can support you in your grief and provide space for you as you work through your grief. Want to read more about grief therapy? Check out this post.

5. You are having thoughts of harming yourself or someone else

If you are having these kinds of thoughts, please reach out to a therapist. A trained therapist can support you and help you come up with a plan of action. If you are currently in crisis, are having these thoughts as you read this, and have a plan to hurt yourself or someone else, please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline (800-273-8255) or the local San Diego Access and Crisis Hotline (888-724-7240) for immediate help.

6. You’ve noticed that you’ve been using substances or other distractions to help you cope with life

Sometimes life feels overwhelming and we find ourselves engaging in activities to cope with this feeling. Some of these activities may include drinking, sleeping, smoking, exercising, shopping, watching TV, being on social media, watching porn, or eating. Although distracting ourselves may not necessarily be harmful, if you are finding that the way you cope with the overwhelm is interfering with the life you want to have, disrupting your relationships, becoming harmful to your physical health, or if it is beginning to take over more of your life, it may be beneficial to talk with a therapist. To read more about this, check out this other blog article.

7. You feel like your emotions often get the best of you.

The opposite of this could be feeling like you never have emotions. Neither one is optimal. Working with a therapist can help you make sense of how you feel, help you get back in touch with your emotions, and help you find appropriate ways to express your emotions to others so you feel more connected to yourself and others. Read this article for a more in-depth understanding of how therapy can help you with your emotions: https://estestherapy.com/understanding-your-emotions-feeling/

8. You feel like you and your partner continue having the same argument over and over again.

If you’re feeling this way, you are not alone! Having the same argument over and over again happens for so many couples. It is not uncommon for arguments or heated discussions to seem as though they end up in the same place regardless of how they started. Sometimes this is called the negative cycle; this cycle often leads to feeling more disconnected from your partner and may leave you feeling alone in your relationship. Working with an Emotionally Focused Couples therapist can help you and your partner identify and recognize the negative cycle that shows up in your relationship and help you create a healthier, more effective pattern with each other that leaves you feeling more connected to your partner. Check out this video about how working with an EFT therapist can benefit your relationship:

9. You find yourself beginning to repeat old patterns that you thought you had gotten over.

Sometimes when life gets stressful or overwhelming, we can find ourselves falling into old patterns. These patterns could happen in our relationships, in the way we cope with or respond to problems, or in our thought patterns. Sometimes we are able to recognize when we are falling into these old patterns and make adjustments in our life. Sometimes, however, we may feel a little stuck and unsure of how to get back to a more balanced life. One way a therapist can help you get “unstuck” is by using the change triangle. Take a look at this article for more information about the change triangle.

10. You feel like you just need someone to talk to or need some support.

You actually don’t need to have a concrete reason to see a therapist. Although it can be helpful to have specific goals you would like to work on in therapy, it is not a prerequisite. A therapist can provide you with support when you need it or the space to talk about things that may be difficult to discuss with other people in your life and can provide you with an unbiased perspective.


This list of ten reasons is certainly not exhaustive. In fact, there may be many more reasons you might want to see a therapist that are not listed here. Although it has become more popular and accepted recently in our culture to attend to our mental health similar to the way we take care of our physical health, at times it may feel as though there still is a stigma attached to seeking help for your mental well-being. Please know that there is no shame in reaching out to a therapist! Our therapists here at Estes Therapy can provide you with a non-judgmental, welcoming, confidential, and safe environment to support you on your journey.


Therapy Myths:

Therapy is No Better Than Talking With Friends

Having friends and family that care about you is wonderful, especially knowing they are willing to pick up the phone and listen when you have a problem. However, talk therapy is not the same thing. A therapist is trained to identify different patterns, emotions, and mental health issues. Sometimes talk therapy can fill a much needed support gap that is missing in your life. Each session is dedicated only to you, and there will be absolutely no judgment or someone giving you unsolicited advice, which might happen with friends. Instead, I help you uncover your root emotions and develop a road map for moving forward in a healthy way.

Therapy is Only for People with “Big” Issues

Talk therapy is not only for people who are on the brink of a breakdown or who are “messed up.” We all encounter difficult situations, such as breakups, death in the family, or loss of a job. It’s OK to need some guidance and a safe space to open up at any stage of your life. Going to talk therapy doesn’t require a major life event. In fact, you might find that going to just a few sessions when you are feeling down or anxious is extremely helpful.

I Should Be Strong Enough to Handle My Own Problems without Therapy

Going to therapy is NOT a sign of weakness. Just the opposite – you are strong enough to walk into a stranger’s office and be vulnerable! Everyone needs some guidance sometimes, and talk therapy is here to help you become the best, strongest version of yourself.


Article by Heather Frick, AMFT#116509, Supervised by Jennine Estes, MFT #47653

Call or text us at Estes Therapy

Call us at 619-558-0001 today to get started on the process. Trying to find out what might be some of the blocks keeping you from finding a partner can make a big difference.

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