Single and Ready to Date? How to Get Ready for a Relationship

Is it time for you to get ready for a relationship?

About to go on the journey of dating after a period of being single can be a thrilling adventure filled with excitement, anticipation, and perhaps a touch of nervousness. But on the other hand, it can be a lot of work and full of unknowns. Whether you’ve recently ended a long-term relationship, taken time to focus on personal growth, or are simply ready to explore new connections, diving back into the world of dating is a significant step. In this blog, we’ll navigate the nuances of how to get ready to dive into a relationship, with quick tips, and anecdotes to empower you on this exhilarating quest for companionship and love.

  • Consider how the vibes you send out are being received by other people. If you are trying to get ready for a relationship but feel inadequate, unattractive, or have low self-esteem, other people will pick up on how you feel. It could cause them to lose interest in you because they sense the validation vacuum. Find ways to boost your confidence and work on your sense of self-worth. Productive methods include exercising, decreasing stress, pursuing counseling, maintaining a healthy diet, getting a haircut, buying clothes that flatter you, etc. Stand tall and think positively.
  • Stop comparing yourself to others.  If you always compare yourself to other people, it sets you up for constant failure, because no two people are alike: everyone has their strengths and weaknesses. You are a unique individual with desirable traits to compatible people. If you really want to get ready for a relationship, you will need to remember what it is that you have to offer. Maybe you are incredibly compassionate or committed; perhaps you are adventurous and easy-going. While not everyone will be a good match, knowing what it is about you that is most attractive can help you focus on making that more apparent instead of worrying about what it is others are doing.
  • Put yourself out there by experiencing new things. Take on new hobbies or travel to new environments such as church, dating sites, meet-up groups, etc. to meet new and interesting people. There’s an old mantra that says, “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.” Mix up your life a little and get passionate about what interests you. Passionate people are attractive; they have a light in their eyes and purpose in their lives.
  • Laugh and smile more often. In addition to being attractive and magnetic, laughter and smiling elevates your mood and keeps your body healthy. Take a deep breath right now and relax your facial muscles. Soften your eyes and smile. Take another breath. Let your shoulders drop and make sure your arms and legs are not crossed. This is an easy and practical way to come across as more approachable. When your face and posture are open, you are issuing an invitation to get to know you better.

Single and Looking? Learn how to get ready for a relationship with this special dating advice for singles on how to find a relationship. | via @EstesTherapy #dating #singlehood

  • Don’t spend your entire holiday season with married or coupled families and friends. Make plans to socialize where singles are more likely to be. Host or go to a “friends-giving” or look for singles’ events. It may be uncomfortable initially, but the discomfort fades into camaraderie when you meet new people who are feeling the same way that you are. Even with those we love, it is possible to be lonely so finding your own thing can ultimately give you confidence and help you bond with someone special.
  • Get clear on what you are looking for in a partner. Maybe you are dipping your toes into the dating world after a significant relationship or perhaps you’ve been “in the game” for awhile. Either way, it is only fair to yourself and those whom you may date for you to know what you want. I’m not talking about a list of cosmetic non-negotiable traits. Rather, think about whether you are dating casually and openly or if you are looking for something long-term and exclusive. What kind of things are most important to you in a relationship? Are you all about fun and excitement or low-key bonding? Get ready for a relationship by considering what a healthy relationship means to you when it comes to conflict resolution, communication, and other aspects of the relationship. Just as importantly, be ready to communicate those things so that you and those you date are on the same page.
  • Off-putting patterns can be so ingrained that they may need to be addressed with a professional.  Relationship choices are based on habits that were created in our childhood and were repeatedly reinforced growing up. We often have patterns that cause heartache and frustration instead of the kind that lead to successful, happy relationships. Begin to understand where your relationship patterns comes from, what they look like, and then choose to do something different.  The support of a compassionate and experienced therapist can help you uncover issues and build healthier behaviors through counseling.

To get ready for a relationship, you must look inward and become the best YOU. Only then can you attract and be a good partner for someone else.

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It’s been nearly 20 years since I first became interested in studying psychotherapy. I began practicing the scientific approaches to psychotherapy in 1997 and I was hooked from then on.

I earned my Master’s Degree in Marriage and Family psychotherapy in 2004 and I am currently licensed as a Marriage and Family Therapist MFT (LMFT#47653) with the Board of Behavioral Sciences (BBS).

I focus my practice upon the empirically-based and proven research methods of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT).

I’ve seen these techniques consistently get results and I truly believe they are the most effective at creating positive, long-term change.

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Seeking a therapist can be the best thing you do not just for your relationship, but for yourself. If you are seeking compassionate, knowledgeable, and understanding professional help, we invite you to explore our services. We are here to help you make the most of your life.