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How to Say "Eh" Without Killing the Mood
Usually the most productive conversations about what goes on in the bedroom happen outside of the bedroom, but sometimes in the moment you need to get your partner on the same page. A lot of times we hesitate to talk about sex during sex for fear of hurting our partner’s feelings or to avoid “killing the mood,” but here’s the truth: When you are not fully present, the sexual experience is just not what it should be!
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As humans we are wired to be in bonding relationships with others throughout our lifetime. These are referred to as attachment bonds. You might be most familiar with this in regard to parent-child relationships, but they also occur in our other significant relationships (family, significant others, close friends). When our attachment needs are being threatened, separation distress occurs. This is when people typically get sucked into that negative cycle - the conflict.
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Sometimes leaving during a fight allows you time to cool off and come back when level heads prevail. But threatening to leave as a way to get back at your partner is never a good idea! Especially when you just say “I’m sick of this, I’m leaving!” Are you leaving for 10 minutes? Are you breaking up with or divorcing your partner? Your partner may not know what you’re talking about, and it’s hurtful.
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Have you ever had one of those periods in your relationship where it feels like you and your partner can’t communicate about anything without it turning into a fight? Or maybe you’re finding it a struggle to get any meaningful response from your partner? Or maybe you’re finding yourself getting irritated every time your partner talks to you? You are certainly not alone!
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The truth is, there are many reasons to go to therapy and no one reason is better or more worthy than another. Here are ten reasons that you might want to start seeing a therapist:
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Practical strategies to facilitate optimism and bring positivity into your everyday life.
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The PERMA Model
This is the first part of a two part post on increasing happiness through Dr. Seligmen's PERMA model. Part 2 will focus on strategies on how to put these 5 happiness pillars into practice. Each of these pillars facilitate happiness by making small changes in your everyday life, or reflecting on the positivity that is already there.
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Burnout is becoming increasingly common, especially as we pass the year mark for COVID in California.
Burnout comes from prolonged and cumulative stress. Since COVID’s impact really made its mark on California (/the US/the world) there has been an abundance of stressors. These stressors include the virus itself, transitioning to working from home, going into work during a pandemic, social distancing, and increased interpersonal conflict - especially between those who live together. We are facing all these additional stressors, and all at once, without having the same self-care and de-stress outlets as before.
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Is it common to have second thoughts in a relationship? How can you tell if it's just a temporary doubt, or something more?
Relationships grow and change over time. It is normal to pause and question your relationship. Taking time to reflect on your relationship gives you the opportunity to examine your values and needs, and what you need in a relationship to get your needs met and live in alignment with your values.
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Have you ever had the experience of feeling out of your body, anxious, or in fight-or-flight mode? Yeah. You’re definitely not alone there.
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Why go to couples therapy?
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Health is more than just physical
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If you’re reading this, you have probably scheduled (or are considering scheduling) a telehealth counseling session. Congratulations! That is such a loving form of self-care for yourself. Mental health matters and you deserve to have support through whatever it is that you’re navigating.
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