What is Your Body Language Saying About You?

Sometimes what you’re NOT saying is revealing more than you think!

Have you ever wondered why your partner keeps hearing something totally different from what you are saying? The message you are sending may be very different from your words.

In his book Silent Messages, Dr. Albert Mehrabian says that the majority of communication is through body language and tone of voice, not what is actually said with words.

He calls it the “7%-38%-55%” Rule.


Fifty-five percent of other people’s reactions to you are based on your facial expression, 38% are based on your tone of voice, and only 7% of their reaction is from the words you are actually saying. While we usually know what we are saying, often we do not know what other messages we are sending through body language. Be aware of your body language while you communicate with your partner.

Do you appear to be interested and engaged in what your partner has to say? Or are your arms crossed with an eyebrow raised, looking disgusted even while you are saying with words, “I care about what you are saying.”

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If the words you use conflict with your nonverbals – that is, your body language and the tone of voice – your partner will believe the nonverbals over your words every time.

To book an appointment with Jennine Estes MFT, visit me at estestherapy.com or call (619) 558-0001.

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It’s been nearly 20 years since I first became interested in studying psychotherapy. I began practicing the scientific approaches to psychotherapy in 1997 and I was hooked from then on.

I earned my Master’s Degree in Marriage and Family psychotherapy in 2004 and I am currently licensed as a Marriage and Family Therapist MFT (LMFT#47653) with the Board of Behavioral Sciences (BBS).

I focus my practice upon the empirically-based and proven research methods of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT).

I’ve seen these techniques consistently get results and I truly believe they are the most effective at creating positive, long-term change.

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Seeking a therapist can be the best thing you do not just for your relationship, but for yourself. If you are seeking compassionate, knowledgeable, and understanding professional help, we invite you to explore our services. We are here to help you make the most of your life.