Sometimes what you’re NOT saying is revealing more than you think!
Have you ever wondered why your partner keeps hearing something totally different from what you are saying? The message you are sending may be very different from your words.
In his book Silent Messages, Dr. Albert Mehrabian says that the majority of communication is through body language and tone of voice, not what is actually said with words.
He calls it the “7%-38%-55%” Rule.
Fifty-five percent of other people’s reactions to you are based on your facial expression, 38% are based on your tone of voice, and only 7% of their reaction is from the words you are actually saying. While we usually know what we are saying, often we do not know what other messages we are sending through body language. Be aware of your body language while you communicate with your partner.
Do you appear to be interested and engaged in what your partner has to say? Or are your arms crossed with an eyebrow raised, looking disgusted even while you are saying with words, “I care about what you are saying.”
If the words you use conflict with your nonverbals – that is, your body language and the tone of voice – your partner will believe the nonverbals over your words every time.
To book an appointment with Jennine Estes MFT, visit me at estestherapy.com or call (619) 558-0001.
About Jennine Estes, MFT
Think of me as your relationship consultant, I'm your neutral third party that can help you untangle the emotions and help you figure out what's really going on. I am a Marriage and Family Therapist in San Diego, CA. Certified in Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples. Supervisor. I write relationship and self growth advice for my column Relationships in the Raw. Creator of #BeingLOVEDIs campaign. MFC#47653