What Is EFT Therapy? How Do I Know If It’s Right for Me?

Do you feel like you can’t trust your partner? Are you and your spouse having trouble communicating? Do you feel like you both are constantly arguing? Does every little thing make each other angry and upset? Read on to discover how EFT therapy may help your relationship and create a more trusting and loving bond.

“We’re constantly bickering and don’t know how to stop.”

“I don’t trust him anymore after he kissed another woman.”

“I’m sick and tired of the miscommunication in our relationship.”

Have you thought about these things before? You’re not alone in feeling like your relationship isn’t the same as it used to be. However, you’ll find that there are solutions, such as emotionally focused therapy (EFT). So, what is EFT therapy? 

The review below will explain the definition of EFT therapy, who it can help, and what to expect during a therapy session. Ready to find out all about it? Keep reading to see how EFT therapy may help your romantic relationship.

So, What Is EFT Therapy?

EFT therapy is a short-term version of counseling in which patients work to improve their bond and attachment in their adult relationships. Drs. Les Greenberg and Sue Johnson first developed EFT in the 1980s. The premise of the therapy is rooted in using love as a way to improve attachment and bonding.

Therapists use it for couples in both marriages and non-marital romantic relationships and other family members in need of counseling. With EFT therapy, you and your partner can form a closer bond on an emotional level. That should enhance your communication skills and create a stronger relationship.

Who Can Benefit From EFT Therapy?

Couples, families, and even individuals can reap benefits from EFT therapy. If your relationships are in distress, you may want to consider choosing EFT to improve your familial bonds and emotional health. The issues that the typical couple in EFT therapy face include:

  • Loss of trust
  • Arguing and bickering
  • General anger or irritability
  • Depression
  • Trauma responses
  • Fear and anxiety 
  • A feeling of betrayal on one or both sides
  • Feeling disconnected

Couples that benefit the most from this type of therapy include those with communication issues, poor conflict resolution, chronic medical conditions, or post-traumatic stress disorder. Emotionally focused therapy works for couples dealing with infidelity and other traumatic issues.

What You Should Expect During an EFT Therapy

When you attend an EFT session, your therapist will look at your relationship’s dynamics and see how the relationship may function in the home environment. You can expect your therapist to guide the discussion by focusing on the deeper emotions that drive your reactions, and the negative pattern in your communication, and help you develop better interactions with your significant other.

Throughout the discussion, the therapist will help you delve deeper into your emotions and figure out exactly what you are feeling and needing. You will then learn how to better communicate those emotions with your loved one during your sessions instead of shutting down or blaming. You will also learn how to listen to your significant other better during the sessions.

What You Should Look for in an EFT Therapist

Are you looking for the best EFT therapists in your area? If so, you’ll need to go beyond merely googling “EFT therapists near me.”

You must look into each therapist’s training, credentials, and general expertise. At the least, they will need to have their Master’s Degree in the mental healthcare profession. In particular, these therapists should have extensive training and work experience in the EFT sphere. 

Further, you will need to decide on whether to follow through with a therapist after meeting them. What was your comfort level? That matters when searching for a good EFT therapist. Keep in mind, though, therapy can be scary! And uncomfortable! You’re creating change and breaking out of an old pattern, that will bring up discomfort. Finally, you’ll need an EFT therapist who understands all the primary EFT techniques.

Training and Expertise

There are various training opportunities for EFT therapists. For example, certified ICEEFT trainers can help therapists gain expertise by starting with attending the Externship.

The Externship teaches its students how to understand marital distress from the viewpoint of attachment. Further, EFT therapists learn how to help clients reprocess their emotions to reduce marital pain. Essentially, they will learn how to assist patients with developing new interactions and bonding with their partners.

At Estes Therapy, we continuously train our therapy team on EFT techniques and hold weekly consultations. Owner, founder, and supervisor Jennine Estes Powell is a certified EFT therapist. 

Jennine hosts trainings and workshops throughout San Diego. Jennine continuously keeps her therapy team up to date and fine-tuned. We strive for excellence in service!

Good Comfort Level and Empathetic Quality

You will want to have an empathetic therapist who can relate to and understand what you both face. Essentially, you’ll need to feel comfortable with your therapist during your first appointment and future sessions.

With greater empathy, your therapist can help both you and your spouse understand how each other’s feelings are valid. They will then help you recognize any negative patterns and disconnected behaviors that lead to greater conflict in your marriage or relationship. 

You will also want a therapist who can guide you and teach you ways to improve your relationship.

Knowledgeable About EFT Techniques

The best therapist specializing in EFT knows the major techniques. That includes three main stages of EFT, which we list below.

  • De-escalation 
  • Restructuring
  • Consolidation

De-escalation helps couples recognize and stop their negative interactions and fears that harm their relationships. Restructuring is about having the couples communicate with each other and share their emotions in a way that draws each other close. It leads to acceptance and greater compassion or love toward each other.

Consolidation is all about practicing the new skills and communication strategies couples learn to create a stronger bond. Make sure your therapist is knowledgeable about these three stages of EFT.

Wrap Up

Now that you’ve read through this EFT therapy review, you should understand how it can help you improve your marriage or relationship. 

If you’re struggling to communicate and improve the emotional health of your relationship, seek out the help of a professional EFT therapist. Soon, you’ll be back in a loving marriage filled with effective communication and understanding.

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It’s been nearly 20 years since I first became interested in studying psychotherapy. I began practicing the scientific approaches to psychotherapy in 1997 and I was hooked from then on.

I earned my Master’s Degree in Marriage and Family psychotherapy in 2004 and I am currently licensed as a Marriage and Family Therapist MFT (LMFT#47653) with the Board of Behavioral Sciences (BBS).

I focus my practice upon the empirically-based and proven research methods of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT).

I’ve seen these techniques consistently get results and I truly believe they are the most effective at creating positive, long-term change.

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Seeking a therapist can be the best thing you do not just for your relationship, but for yourself. If you are seeking compassionate, knowledgeable, and understanding professional help, we invite you to explore our services. We are here to help you make the most of your life.