Tips on Preparing for Lesbian Marriage Counseling

Lesbian Couple sitting on couch for Counseling

The idea of preparing for your LGBTQ+ marriage counseling may seem difficult sometimes. Mostly, it happens when you don’t know what to expect.

Marriage counseling for our community can help you find new ways to trust, support, and connect as partners. It helps to prepare mentally for the entire LGBTQ+ marriage counseling process.

Read on to learn the tips on preparing for your same-sex marriage counseling.

Be Open-Minded

Recently, most people have become more open about their mental well-being. Nevertheless, you may stigmatize or shame the marriage therapy process.

For instance, some think that as partners, you should be able to solve everything on your own.

Others perceive LGBTQ+ marriage counseling to be for couples on the verge of divorce. Some think that marriage counseling is meant to decide who is right and who is wrong. However, these misconceptions can be harmful because anyone can benefit from couples counseling. 

Try to keep away from such misconceptions. Remind yourselves that marriage counseling will help you grow, learn, and become self-aware.

Remember, you may not always agree with everything your marriage counselor suggests. Don’t worry; it’s normal and doesn’t imply that the effort wasn’t worth it.

Deliberate Your Goals Together

This is one of the most significant steps to help your counseling session to work well. It would help to determine what both of you want to achieve from the sessions ahead of time. It lets you get the most out of your time with your counselor as well.

Sometimes, your goals and objectives may not be crystal clear. If so, ask yourselves if you’re going through some common struggles. These include:

  • Grief and loss
  • Intimacy issues
  • Poor communication
  • Financial stress and parenting disagreements

All these will significantly affect the comfort and safety required in a supportive union. It’d be best to look into your objectives and write them down.

Sometimes, lesbian couples disagree on what they should prioritize. This should not be an issue because your marriage counselor will work with both of you to know the right solution for your specific marriage struggles.

Understand That Lesbian Marriage Counselling Isn’t About Changing Your Partner

Sometimes, you may feel frustrated in your relationship. When this happens, it becomes easy to point fingers and play blame games with your partner.

You might even believe your partner is the only one who should change. Remember, one-sided change isn’t the goal. Besides, LGBTQ+ marriage counseling isn’t about fixing one partner – it’s meant to help you become closer and better as a couple.

Your counselor will assess your relationship as a whole and determine how each of you contributes to the problem. You shouldn’t expect your therapist to decide who is right or wrong on a given issue.

Once everyone has a good understanding of the relationship and issues it faces, the marriage counselor will have a better idea of what to do and how to help. Remember that they are there to help you, so be open and honest when discussing your relationship. 

If you want your partner to change, you should be open to working on yourself as well. It takes both of you to make the relationship. So, it’ll take both of you to change the relationship for the better.

Be Honest 

Sometimes, marriage counseling sessions can make you feel extremely vulnerable. No one wants to feel ashamed or judged for their problems. Many couples feel nervous to open up to each other, and opening up to a counselor can be even more difficult for some. However, it’s important to remember that your counselor is professionally trained to help you, and being honest will only benefit you as a couple in the long run. 

Overcome the fear that your therapist will look down on you. Our marriage therapists undergo extensive training and schooling to assist a variety of individuals and specifically those within the LBGTQ+ community. It’s their job to listen to all difficult issues from clients.

Your therapist has also most likely with many people with similar struggles to yours. At Estes Therapy, many of our therapists specialize in LGBTQ+ couples counseling and are part of the community themselves. 

So, aim to be as honest as possible during your sessions. Remember, you’re investing energy, time, and more in the entire process. To make the most of your time with your LGBT marriage therapist, you’ll need to open up to your partner and your therapist, but you will also benefit from looking within and being honest with yourself. When you self-reflect and commit to working on yourself, every relationship (including your romantic one) will benefit. 

Prioritize Your Appointments

If both of you want to make your marriage counseling work, make it a non-negotiable priority. Ensure both of you can make the date, location, and time of your counseling sessions.

If you don’t prioritize going to your appointments, you obviously won’t see the benefits. Make sure you work around each other’s schedules so you can commit to working on your relationship together. When you both put in the effort, you will be more likely to see better results. 

Commit to At Least 3 to 6 Months 

Change doesn’t happen overnight. So, you’ll need to be patient with each other. Furthermore, you may need to take several sessions to feel comfortable talking openly with each other and with your therapist.

Sometimes, you may have several issues that need to be addressed. If so, account for the examination, processing, and healing time. It’d be best to commit to the process and reevaluate when needed. Again, the process can take time, so be patient – it will be worth it in the end. 

Lesbian Marriage Counselling

Our marriage counseling sessions specifically for LGBTQ+ couples require your active participation to work successfully. You’ll only get as much as you’re willing to give during your therapy.

Your marriage won’t work unless you commit to the work. Are you ready to take your relationship or marriage and make it better?

Contact us to book your discovery session today. 

Call or text us at Estes Therapy

Call us at 619-558-0001 today to get started on the process. Trying to find out what might be some of the blocks keeping you from finding a partner can make a big difference.

Jennine Estes

Think of me as your relationship consultant, I'm your neutral third party that can help you untangle the emotions and help you figure out what's really going on. I am a Marriage and Family Therapist in San Diego, CA.