Step 1: Say “I’m sorry”… and mean it. It sounds simple, but a meaningful apology is the first step to repair. Be specific about why you’re sorry, and have open body language. Let the other person take it in before you respond. An empty apology might make things worse, so don’t say you’re sorry in a flippant or insincere way. Honesty is key to repairing the damage.
Step 2: Give hugs and kisses. After you both apologize, physical closeness can help you repair the relationship and build emotional closeness. Give tender hugs and kisses. Let your partner tell you when he or she is ready to get close — after a fight they might need some space to cool down before they’re ready for physical closeness.
Step 3: Discuss how to avoid the same fight. Don’t let history repeat itself. Sit down and talk about what triggered the argument so you know how to avoid the same issue in the future. A marriage and family therapist or other relationship professional may be able to help mediate your discussions if you find that you hit a road block. Emotionally Focused Therapy will help you rewire the way you talk to each other and receive information.
About Jennine Estes, MFT
Think of me as your relationship consultant, I'm your neutral third party that can help you untangle the emotions and help you figure out what's really going on. I am a Marriage and Family Therapist in San Diego, CA. Certified in Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples. Supervisor. I write relationship and self growth advice for my column Relationships in the Raw. Creator of #BeingLOVEDIs campaign. MFC#47653