Got Caught? How To Repair After You Had The Affair

emotional affair

Infidelity is almost always a source of intense hurt and emotional distress, but an affair doesn’t have to mean your relationship is over.

While infidelity is rated as the most serious hurtful event a couple can face, many marriages and relationships can survive the storm and sometimes even make it through even stronger than before the affair occurred. Let’s face it though, it’s going to be a tough road ahead to overcome the damage of an affair and both partners need to be truly motivated to heal.

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3 Myths about Talk Therapy

misconceptions about therapy

Talk therapy has been around for awhile, but some people still have some misperceptions about it – and that’s OK. I am here to help!

Talk therapy basically refers to any sort of therapy where you talk with a counselor to get to the bottom of your emotions and problems. Talking about your issues can make you feel better emotionally and physically. Here are 3 talk therapy myths – and why I am busting them!

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Overcoming Holiday Conflict with Family

holiday advice for couples conflict stress

The holidays are supposed to be a time of good cheer and bliss. But, as we all know, this time of year can also be very stressful. For some people, it can even be overwhelming. If you have conflict with your family, the holiday season can be especially frustrating. Memories of bad holidays from your childhood come to the surface, you find yourself in the same room with relatives you avoid all year, and emotional pain bubbles up.

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Is Your Partner Family Obsessed?

Sharing a close bond with your family can be one of the greatest parts of your life. And seeing your partner have closeness with his or her family is often a good indicator about how your future family might operate. Still, can someone be too close with his family…even obsessed? It is one thing to be family oriented, but if your partner is family obsessed it can actually turn into a wedge in your relationship.

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Signs of Depression

holiday depression

There comes a time in everyone’s life where you go through a hard time. Whether you lose your job, go through a bad breakup, or experience a death in the family – it’s normal to feel down sometimes. When feeling bad becomes chronic, however, it might be something more than just a bad day. It could be depression. Depression is nothing to be ashamed of: it might be the result of physiological issues or it could stem from an event. Whatever the cause, it’s important to spot the signs of depression in yourself and others and get help. Things CAN get better.

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5 Stages of a Breakup

surviving breakups

Breakups are painful and the end of a relationship is like a death. Major life shifts often leave us feeling out of control and grappling with ways to feel powerful as we redefine our lives. While a relationship may conclude on good or bad terms, every individual will reach closure in their own way.

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Why Premarital Counseling Should Be on Your To-Do List

wedding planning marriage prep couples counseling san diego couples marry wife husband

Getting engaged is an exciting time! Why come down from Cloud 9 to discuss potential problems, right? Wrong! Now is the perfect time to discuss your needs in the relationship, including how they might be different from your partner’s needs and lead to conflict. You would check the foundation of a house before you buy it, and make repairs as needed before you move in. The same can be said of your marriage – you will have a stronger relationship if you identify and make adjustments before you sign on the dotted line.

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Date Night Advice: Five Strategies to Making it Unforgettable

Date Night Advice: Make Date Night Unforgettable. How to be a good date.

Think about what makes someone come home from a date night and tell their friends, "Wow, that was a great date! I had an awesome time and can’t wait to see them again.” While it might have been the wine or great music, it was most likely something more to it. Things that make a first date truly memorable are often found greater in the mental rather than the physical connections.

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Creative Innovative Date Night Ideas

creative innovative date night ideas

Are you running out of innovative date night ideas? I am here to help! It is always important to change things up in your relationship from time to time, and creative dates can be a great way to see a new side of your partner or reconnect your relationship.

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Conflict Resolution: How to Fix a Fight in a Relationship

communication advice san diego

Steps on How to Repair and Pick Up After a Fight

Let’s face it: in the heat of an argument you can say things that are hurtful, passive aggressive, or downright untrue. So can your partner. That’s the bad news. The good news is that it IS possible to pick up after a big blow out and repair your relationship, restoring it to a healthy place.

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Communication Advice: How to Practice Fighting Fair in Your Marriage

emotional affair

From an Emotionally Focused Therapy and Attachment Perspective - By Jen Zajac, IMF

There are some couples who fight explosively and often, and others who seem to rarely get into a heated argument. Perhaps you can recall separate relationships you have been in where each has had a different “fight dynamic”. Regardless of how you define what a fight is, we all at some point encounter conflict, or disagreements, in our relationships. If our emotional needs aren’t attended to, even the small things that get dismissed or “swept under the rug” can develop into larger issues later down the line. Merely avoiding a fight does not resolve conflict.

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5 Steps to Communicating Needs In Your Relationship

communication needs relationships

Asking for what you want: 5 steps to getting your needs met

We all have needs, but sometimes it can be difficult to convey these needs to our partners. We might struggle with how to communicate our needs or approach our partners. Our partners might misunderstand what we are asking for. Or we might simply fear what happens if our partners refuse to meet our needs.

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How to Cope with Trauma Triggers

trauma triggers strategies

Strategies and Tips

Most of us come out of childhood, or past relationships, with some sort of emotional trauma. It could be an absent or inconsistent parent, a physically abusive boyfriend, or a mother who was really critical. These past hurts will make it more difficult to trust and feel emotionally attached to others in the future. I call these hurts relationship traumas.

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Types of Trauma and Awareness

Types of Trauma and Awareness

From a Relationship and Attachment Perspective - By Jen Zajac IMF

A traumatic experience can be devastating, and can have serious emotional impact on an individual and how they emotionally attach to others. If left untreated, trauma can resurface unexpectedly in many areas of an individual’s life. In my therapy work with couples I see that trauma, in the current relationship or prior to, can cause blocks in bonding and leaves a partner confused about how to repair the bond.

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