7 Tips for Successful Communication About Sex

7 Tips for Communicating What You Want from Your Partner in the Bedroom Estes Therapy Sex Talk Jackie MFT

Communication about sex can be vulnerable

The truth is, communicating openly about sex can be a vulnerable- and sometimes tough- thing to do. For some, knowing where to start with these conversations can feel confusing and overwhelming. Sex and intimacy is such an important part of our identities and our relationships. It is crucial to be able to practice sitting in the vulnerability and have these open conversations with your partner.

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My Child Came Out To Me

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Are you unsure how to react to your child coming out to you?

I have had parents ask me this a few times now, so I thought it’s time to share some quick and easy guidelines about how to handle your child’s coming out. What is most important is your relationship with your child. How you react to something that they hold fear or uncertainty around can greatly influence that relationship. You might be nervous about how to handle this for fear of pushing your child away. They have entrusted you with a part of their identity that they may hold anxiety or fear around. They are looking for you to be a safe space, to continue to accept and love them, and to not treat them any differently.

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Four Divorce Predictions and Their Antidotes

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After over 40 years of research, Dr. John Gottman has seen four main predictors of divorce and unhappy relationships.

Divorce or separation doesn’t come without warning. You or your partner isn’t going to go to sleep completely happy with your relationship and then wake up the next morning and think “never mind” for no reason. So what should you be looking out for? Criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.

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Six Steps for Dating Your Spouse Again

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How to keep focus on your relationship - even after marriage

With crammed schedules and the balancing act of work, kids, family, stress, and maybe even a little self-care time, becoming ‘autopilot partners’ can be SO easy. With the autopilot left on over time, your spouse can begin to feel like a roommate.  This can lead to falling into routines of disconnection that end up hurting you both. Being intentional about dating your spouse will not only work to keep you close and connected, it will also buffer your relationship against negativity- making those inevitable tough conversations a little bit easier. Plus, dating each other again can be a lot of fun. Sounds like a win-win-win!

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How To Deal With Your Defensive Partner

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How do you stop defensiveness from harming your relationship?

Your partner hurt your feelings or crossed a line. You want to share how you feel, but you never feel heard. Better yet, you have tried so many ways to talk about your feelings and get nowhere. They respond with explanation and frustration. They may say, “I would have gotten that done sooner, but I was busy.” Or “You are always so critical.” While we can’t control how your partner responds, we can increase the chance that they will listen by communicating in a positive and constructive way.

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6 Steps to Prevent Your Partner’s Defensiveness

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Defensiveness puts up a wall in your relationship. Stop it before it starts.

A defensive person is emotionally closed off, argumentative, and often exhibits negative body language like crossed arms. They will deflect the conversation away from the original issue and either refuse to engage or launch loosely related counterattacks on their partner. This doesn't sound like the kind of person you would feel safe expressing your hurt or concerns with, does it? So how do you stop yourself or your partner from jumping to the defensive?

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5 Steps To Stop Looking at Your Ex’s Social Media Account

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Social Media and Break Ups

In this day and age, not only do we have the possibility of running into our ex's when we're out and about, but the ever-present social media makes checking up on them a constant option. You're killing time waiting in line or unwinding after work and the thought of "what is he/she up to" creeps into your head, and finding out is just one click away.

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Meet Our Male Therapist

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Hi! My name is Young.

I have a knowledgeable background in relationships and helping people improve how they feel. I can give an unbiased perspective, as well as my experience of being a man. I understand the pressures and expectations imposed on men and how we can work together to stop these pressures from hindering your day to day life or your relationships. If you’re having trouble convincing your male partner to come into couples counseling, knowing the counselor will be a male therapist may help encourage him. If you have a poor experience with men in your life, this counseling will be a good place to experience something healthy and different.

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What is EMDR Trauma Therapy?

EMDR counseling

What is EMDR and What should I expect?

EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. This research-based therapy technique is most beneficial to those seeking treatment for trauma and anxiety. When someone experiences an extreme negative reaction or feeling in response to a certain situation or memory, EMDR is used to help replace the negative emotions with more relaxed reactions. Ultimately, EMDR offers relief and a more positive outlook in facing similar types of stressors.

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Top Apps for Meditation

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Sometimes we need a little extra help with our meditation.

Sometimes life just keeps adding on to you and if you don't learn to let it go it can feel like a heavy weight is being put on your back wherever you go. Through meditation, we can expel some of this stress and some of the negativity. Meditating allows you to calm yourself and focus. If you're having trouble remembering all the things you need to do, having trouble sleeping, facing creative blocks, or feeling out of control of your emotions, meditation can help. Another big plus... It's free and you can do it anywhere! But if you're having trouble making it a habit or getting started, try out these apps.

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3 Apps to Help You Keep a Resolution

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When you need a boost in motivation, turn to these applications to help you stay on track!

It’s easy to make a New Year’s resolution, but not so easy to keep a resolution. If you do it right, though, resolutions are a great way to improve an aspect of your life and build a stronger YOU! Whether it’s getting physically healthy, creating a better relationship, or trying something new, a resolution is a good tool to set goals for yourself. As well intentioned as you are when you decide on a resolution, though, it’s easy to fall into old habits by mid-March and the next thing you know your plans are out the door.

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Are you Addicted to How You Unwind?

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Find out if you have become addicted to your coping practices and how to address it.

Habits are a part of an individual’s life. You are defined by the rituals you follow, the activities you participate in, the things you return to in times of happiness and stress, the relationships you keep, and above all the state of mind you maintain. Having a healthy lifestyle involves maintaining a balance between oneself and the practices one engages in. Too often, this balance gets skewed toward self-destructive behavior; many even become addicted to poor habits.

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How Trauma Therapy Works | San Diego

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Your Trauma Therapy San Diego

Some experiences stick with us, not always in a good way. The experience of emotional or physical trauma can have lasting consequences on our psyche and our body. Trauma may look different to everyone. Some things, like a car wreck or physical abuse, are the most apparent. Whether the traumatic experience is obvious or not, many times we cope the best way we know how and go on about our lives. This can be effective for a short period of time but unless we truly give the wound the time and attention necessary to heal, it can become a heavy and isolating burden.

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