How To Deal With Your Defensive Partner

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How do you stop defensiveness from harming your relationship?

Your partner hurt your feelings or crossed a line. You want to share how you feel, but you never feel heard. Better yet, you have tried so many ways to talk about your feelings and get nowhere. They respond with explanation and frustration. They may say, “I would have gotten that done sooner, but I was busy.” Or “You are always so critical.” While we can’t control how your partner responds, we can increase the chance that they will listen by communicating in a positive and constructive way.

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6 Steps to Prevent Your Partner’s Defensiveness

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Defensiveness puts up a wall in your relationship. Stop it before it starts.

A defensive person is emotionally closed off, argumentative, and often exhibits negative body language like crossed arms. They will deflect the conversation away from the original issue and either refuse to engage or launch loosely related counterattacks on their partner. This doesn't sound like the kind of person you would feel safe expressing your hurt or concerns with, does it? So how do you stop yourself or your partner from jumping to the defensive?

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5 Steps To Stop Looking at Your Ex’s Social Media Account

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Social Media and Break Ups

In this day and age, not only do we have the possibility of running into our ex's when we're out and about, but the ever-present social media makes checking up on them a constant option. You're killing time waiting in line or unwinding after work and the thought of "what is he/she up to" creeps into your head, and finding out is just one click away.

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Meet Our Male Therapist

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Counseling

san diego male counselor

Hi! My name is Young.

I have a knowledgeable background in relationships and helping people improve how they feel. I can give an unbiased perspective, as well as my experience of being a man. I understand the pressures and expectations imposed on men and how we can work together to stop these pressures from hindering your day to day life or your relationships. If you’re having trouble convincing your male partner to come into couples counseling, knowing the counselor will be a male therapist may help encourage him. If you have a poor experience with men in your life, this counseling will be a good place to experience something healthy and different.

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What is EMDR Trauma Therapy?

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EMDR counseling

What is EMDR and What should I expect?

EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. This research-based therapy technique is most beneficial to those seeking treatment for trauma and anxiety. When someone experiences an extreme negative reaction or feeling in response to a certain situation or memory, EMDR is used to help replace the negative emotions with more relaxed reactions. Ultimately, EMDR offers relief and a more positive outlook in facing similar types of stressors.

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Top Apps for Improving Self-Esteem

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self esteem

Use technology to help build your self-esteem

Self-esteem is something we've all struggled with at times. Sometimes you feel like you're in a rut and need some help getting back into believing in yourself, sometimes you just feel like you need a boost in confidence but aren't sure how to get it. With high self-esteem we are more inclined to make better decisions, take better care of ourselves, and explore our full potential.
Our phones have become an essential part of our day, so why not use them to help us build our self-esteem?

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Top Apps for Meditation

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Sometimes we need a little extra help with our meditation.

Sometimes life just keeps adding on to you and if you don't learn to let it go it can feel like a heavy weight is being put on your back wherever you go. Through meditation, we can expel some of this stress and some of the negativity. Meditating allows you to calm yourself and focus. If you're having trouble remembering all the things you need to do, having trouble sleeping, facing creative blocks, or feeling out of control of your emotions, meditation can help. Another big plus... It's free and you can do it anywhere! But if you're having trouble making it a habit or getting started, try out these apps.

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3 Apps to Help You Keep a Resolution

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Personal Growth

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When you need a boost in motivation, turn to these applications to help you stay on track!

It’s easy to make a New Year’s resolution, but not so easy to keep a resolution. If you do it right, though, resolutions are a great way to improve an aspect of your life and build a stronger YOU! Whether it’s getting physically healthy, creating a better relationship, or trying something new, a resolution is a good tool to set goals for yourself. As well intentioned as you are when you decide on a resolution, though, it’s easy to fall into old habits by mid-March and the next thing you know your plans are out the door.

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Are you Addicted to How You Unwind?

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Are You Addicted to How You Unwind: addiction, substance abuse, relationships, deal with addiction, coping mechanism, healthy coping habits

Find out if you have become addicted to your coping practices and how to address it.

Habits are a part of an individual’s life. You are defined by the rituals you follow, the activities you participate in, the things you return to in times of happiness and stress, the relationships you keep, and above all the state of mind you maintain. Having a healthy lifestyle involves maintaining a balance between oneself and the practices one engages in. Too often, this balance gets skewed toward self-destructive behavior; many even become addicted to poor habits.

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How Trauma Therapy Works | San Diego

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Counseling, Trauma

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Your Trauma Therapy San Diego

Some experiences stick with us, not always in a good way. The experience of emotional or physical trauma can have lasting consequences on our psyche and our body. Trauma may look different to everyone. Some things, like a car wreck or physical abuse, are the most apparent. Whether the traumatic experience is obvious or not, many times we cope the best way we know how and go on about our lives. This can be effective for a short period of time but unless we truly give the wound the time and attention necessary to heal, it can become a heavy and isolating burden.

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How to Support Someone Through Miscarriage

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Depression, Parenting

Support Someone Through Miscarriage, Support Friend Through Miscarriage, Support Wife Through Miscarriage, grief, loss, pregnancy, depression, grieving, coping, individual counseling, grief counseling, San Diego

Helping Your Loved One Through Loss

The loss of a child is a trauma that no one should have to go through. This loss is uniquely experienced after a miscarriage when a mama was not able to meet her baby earthside at all or for very long. As an outsider to the pregnancy, you may find it difficult to know how to react. Whether or not the pregnancy "felt" like a baby to you, it probably did to your friend. With that in mind, let's look at a how to support someone through miscarriage.

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Stop Pokémon Go from Ruining Your Relationship

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Should you say "stop" to Pokémon Go for the sake of your relationship?

Pokémon Go has quickly become nothing short of a cultural phenomenon. With so many players and an incredible amount of media hype in a culture arguably already electronically obsessed, many are concerned about how this augmented reality game could affect relationships.

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How to Resolve Relationship Fights

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Conflict Resolution

Resolving Relationship Fights

Conversations about conflict may be hard, but they aren't impossible.

You may have heard the statistic that only 7% of what you communicate is in your words. The rest is made up of body language and tone of voice. In order to be heard and understood in relationship fights, we need to keep calm, actively listen, and respond mindfully rather than just reacting.

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Get to Sleep with Six Simple Habits

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Stress and Anxiety

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It's time to beat insomnia for good!

Sometimes anxiety keeps us awake. It may be worries about our present day or tomorrow or a general sense of unease. Maybe the energy in our body is ramped up even though it is time to wind down. Whether it is a substance consumed, a misaligned circadian rhythm, or simply an overactive brain, there are practical ways to reset your body clock. Here is how to get to sleep in a few steps:

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Free Dates in San Diego (and elsewhere!)

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Keep an eye on your account balance while keeping the romance alive.

Most of us in relationships know that dedicated date nights are a good idea, especially once the relationship becomes committed and settles a bit. But a nice dinner and a show can get a little pricey. Fortunately for you and your bank account, expense ≠ romance. A little creativity and planning can make all the difference and that thoughtfulness is what really translates to your partner. Without further ado, here are some ideas for free dates in San Diego. If you're not in our lovely city, no worries! Try looking for an equivalent locale for your area.

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