San Diego Gay and Lesbian News – Shrink Wrap

Jennine answers various questions related to relationships for on a weekly basis. Here are a few of Jennine’s “ask the expert” answers below:

Shrink Wrap: A boyfriend with two identities?

Dear Helpless in San Diego: It sounds like your boyfriend has a bad track record of secretive behaviors and hiding things from you. Your red-flag alarm that is going off is accurate and should be listened to. Don’t over look this any more or make up excuses. Better yet, his excuses or defensiveness can no longer be okay. He obviously has some behaviors that he is not fully disclosing to you, which then has you feeling insecure in the relationship. All of his behaviors are screaming that he is either having a problem with out-of-control sexual behaviors or having an affair. I see these issues over and over in my therapy practice and the relationship needs to have a big turn-around to make it salvageable. Read more…

Shrink Wrap: My girlfriend is smothering me!

Dear Suffocated With Questions: Your girlfriend’s neediness and ongoing questions for reassurance may feel redundant and frustrating, but there is a reason for it. People who worry and feel insecure in the relationship often ask questions over and over and over, simply as their way to reach out for reassurance. Other times, it may look as if they are attacking, critical or blaming as their way to express their fears of losing the relationship. Her knowledge of your past with men probably runs over and over in her mind, and the scarier and scarier it feels to lose you, or that you may not be interested in her as much. The problem for you is that the questions are endless, and suffocating at times. It can feel that no matter how much you answer her questions, the job just doesn’t seem to get done … and the more irritated you may become. Read More…

Shrink Wrap: Sexless in San Diego expected to “play the field” after becoming single again

Dear Sexless in San Diego: Getting out of a long-term committed relationship can take a toll on your heart, and starting another relationship might not be what you are ready for. Give your heart a time to heal and get to know yourself in this new world of singlehood. The single scene is full of many ups and downs. The excitement to see what’s out there, the fun of doing whatever you want, and exploring how to “play the field” are one of benefits of singlehood. You probably give off a positive vibe that others are attracted to and they want to settle down with you. This isn’t a bad thing to have, but it just makes this singlehood time a bit more challenging. Don’t pull away; some people hold on tighter. The more people come off as “hard to get” or pull away, it becomes more intriguing to others and they may want to hold on tighter and tighter. Find a middle ground, with clear messages that you are interested in others, yet not ready for a committed relationship. Read More..

Shrink Wrap: Hopeless in San Diego seeks advice on dating at middle age

Dear Hopeless in Hillcrest: The traditional “pick up” scene of meeting people through friends, clubs, bookstores, coffee shops, etc. has drastically changed. These places are still a great to meet people, but more and more people resort to using the Internet. The Internet is an added bonus to the dating world; creating a space to meet other singles, such as, Adam4Adam,, or The Internet creates easy access to cyber flirt your way into a relationship, filter through your choices, and “shop” for someone more of a fit. Not only is it an easy way to access dating services by the simple clicking a button, it also allows you to reach out before even meeting face to face. Unlike the traditional way of meeting others in person during specific hours, the Internet allows you to cruise through the catalog of singles at your own pace and time of day. Read More…

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