Equally Wed Magazine – Family Meeting: Social Media and How it Has Changed Planning a Gay Wedding

Gay couples Media Wedding


Press Type: Magazine and Newspaper Article

It's interesting to see how the world of social media has evolved. 20 years ago the internet was just something you used to check emails, that honestly took forever because the connection was dial up. 10 years ago, you could use the web to search for products to buy or even play games, 5 years ago people started dating services and now today, you can promote your business, your school, your non-profit organization, or whatever you want to share right from your computer. The days of sending snail mail to invite someone to your wedding, or bridal shower or almost non existent. Now, we have evite.com and other social networks such as Facebook, to create an event and invite all your guests. It does take away the nostalgia of it all for some people. For others, maybe it's the only way to go.' however, there are definitely some tips to using social networking for such things like planning your wedding. One thing you will want to keep in mind is how responsive if your family to your wedding? When did you tell them you are gay and have they accepted and embraced that aspect of your life? If there is some hostility towards the union from certain family members, it may be a good idea to not have them listed on your friends on Facebook.

Publication: Equally Wed: A Same-Sex Wedding Magazine
Article Title: Family Meeting: Social Media and how it has Changed Planning a Gay Wedding
Publication Date: Fall 2010
Author: Candace Walsh
URL: Equally Wed Magazine 

Jennine Estes, your marriage and family therapist in San Diego was quoted in the magazine. She said, “Being on social networking sites with family can create a sense of added pain when family members comment on the ‘I ate a delicious brownie today’ post, yet they ignore all the wedding planning. Any response is better than no response. When family comments only on the insignificant life posts and leaves the significant life-changing posts, they send a message that they are not supportive, and that their love is judgmental and conditional. It can feel like a punch in the stomach.” She goes on to further state that “sometimes we hope that family dynamics will change and that the use of the online connections will ‘finally get mom to see me for me,’” says Jennine Estes. “Sad thing is that family dynamics don’t change simply because we are using online networking to connect. People are people; Facebook only creates a space for family dynamics to continue to appear.”

No matter what, planning your wedding is supposed to be happy time. This is a time where people in your social network should be supportive and free from judgement. As hard as it may be to “delete” or not “friend” a family member, sometimes that may be what needs to happen. Because when you have made the decision to say “I DO” to someone that you love, regardless of their sex, that is the first step to you creating your new set of family. Your family will come around eventually, in the meantime, try to help ease your pain and suffering by limiting to your time with them on your social networking sites. Let them ease their way into your world. Slow and steady wins the race.

To read the article about how social media impacts gay couples and families, please click the link above.