Equally Wed Magazine – Family Meeting: Social Media and How it Has Changed Planning a Gay Wedding

Publication: Equally Wed: A Same-Sex Wedding Magazine
Article Title: Family Meeting: Social Media and how it has Changed Planning a Gay Wedding
Publication Date: Fall 2010
Author: Candace Walsh
URL: Equally Wed Magazine 

Jennine Estes, your marriage and family therapist in San Diego was quoted in the magazine. She said, “Being on social networking sites with family can create a sense of added pain when family members comment on the ‘I ate a delicious brownie today’ post, yet they ignore all the wedding planning. Any response is better than no response. When family comments only on the insignificant life posts and leaves the significant life-changing posts, they send a message that they are not supportive, and that their love is judgmental and conditional. It can feel like a punch in the stomach.” She goes on to further state that “sometimes we hope that family dynamics will change and that the use of the online connections will ‘finally get mom to see me for me,’” says Jennine Estes. “Sad thing is that family dynamics don’t change simply because we are using online networking to connect. People are people; Facebook only creates a space for family dynamics to continue to appear.”

No matter what, planning your wedding is supposed to be happy time. This is a time where people in your social network should be supportive and free from judgement. As hard as it may be to “delete” or not “friend” a family member, sometimes that may be what needs to happen. Because when you have made the decision to say “I DO” to someone that you love, regardless of their sex, that is the first step to you creating your new set of family. Your family will come around eventually, in the meantime, try to help ease your pain and suffering by limiting to your time with them on your social networking sites. Let them ease their way into your world. Slow and steady wins the race.

To read the article about how social media impacts gay couples and families, please click the link above.

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