Polyamorous Counseling and Consensual Non-Monogamy Counseling

Looking for Polyamory Counseling in San Diego?

In need of polyamory counseling? Or are you considering opening your relationship and want to explore your options? This article will explain more about counseling for consensual non-monogamy (CNM) and ethical non-monogamy (ENM) relationships.  Estes therapy provides counseling for all types of relationships.

Often people are unsure of what consists of Polyamory Counseling. First Polyamory is within the ENM or CNM spectrum. These encompass all sexual or romantic relationship choices which include multiple partners with informed consent of all people who are romantically or sexually involved with one another. Other terms such as swinging, poly and open relationships may or may not overlap with polyamory. However, open, honest, and transparent is the core foundation of consensual non-monogamy relationships. GSRD – Gender, Sexual, and Relationship Diversity is what we are all about. At Estes Therapy, we are all-inclusive, accepting, and allies of all relationships and want to help you cultivate your relationship successfully.

Counseling to help open up your relationship

Does one of you want an open marriage and the other one doesn’t? Are you looking to love more than one person at the same time but unsure about taking the leap? Or are you looking for therapy to help with the jealousy, hurt, and conflict that polyamory has created in your relationship?

Polyamorous counseling or ethical non-monogamy (ENM) counseling might be exactly what you need. You and your partner may feel curious about the idea of non-monogamy, but putting it into play has become problematic. The fact of the matter is, being in a relationship with more than one person at a time is very tricky to navigate. It can bring up feelings of jealousy, rage, and fear. The goal is that all people can experience love and connection in the way that is most aligned with everyone.

Create a secure and successful Polyamorous or Consensual Non-Monogamy Relationship.

Emotional security is the foundation of any relationship whether gay or straight, young or old, monogamous or polyamorous. Our ethical non-monogamy therapy is here to help people create a solid foundation in their relationship to open it up successfully.

Opening up your relationship requires various steps and stages and it is important to make sure your relationship is ready for the new exciting changes. If either partner is feeling threatened by any aspect of the polyamorous arrangements, counseling can help you and your partner build this foundation of safety and security.

The counseling with our team will focus on making your primary relationship a priority and avoiding hurt and resentment. This means learning to protect your primary relationship from any destructive influences and build a healthy foundation for opening it up successfully. The counseling also focuses on helping couples avoid using language threatening to end the relationship when feeling insecure. The most critical aspect is creating a solid and safe haven to open up the relationship. Explore agreements, plans for safety, and how to handle the schedules/kids/finances/etc.

To open or not to open:

At times, partners do not agree on opening up the relationship. One person wants to open up, and the other does not. They may be interested in polyamory, or consensual non-monogamy, and struggle with what to do about it. With the right support, partners can be remarkably creative at finding solutions to their problems. Therapy is an excellent place to get help in resolving disagreements, finding ways to create security in the relationship, and finding the best course of action.

Injuries from Polyamory or Non-monogamy

Unfortunately, partners can get injured when in open relationships. It can cause hurt, resentment, and/or even trauma to the relationship. This can especially occur when one or both people engage in sex or an intimate emotional relationship behind the other person’s back or without their partner’s agreement. This constitutes an attachment injury/infidelity and is entirely outside the parameters of ethical non-monogamy. Thus, causing a major wound in the relationship. Our therapists use a model called the Attachment Injury Repair Model (AIRM), from Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), and help relationships take active steps to repair the injury, rebuild trust, and improve intimacy.

Your relationship, your way

Every person is unique. As relationship therapists, we believe that you can cultivate the relationship that fits your needs and works for you. With love, respect, and security, it is possible. At Estes Therapy, we are allies here to support your journey in life, build secure relationships, and create your desired relationship.

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It’s been nearly 20 years since I first became interested in studying psychotherapy. I began practicing the scientific approaches to psychotherapy in 1997 and I was hooked from then on.

I earned my Master’s Degree in Marriage and Family psychotherapy in 2004 and I am currently licensed as a Marriage and Family Therapist MFT (LMFT#47653) with the Board of Behavioral Sciences (BBS).

I focus my practice upon the empirically-based and proven research methods of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT).

I’ve seen these techniques consistently get results and I truly believe they are the most effective at creating positive, long-term change.

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Seeking a therapist can be the best thing you do not just for your relationship, but for yourself. If you are seeking compassionate, knowledgeable, and understanding professional help, we invite you to explore our services. We are here to help you make the most of your life.