How to Cope and Heal From Your Partner’s Sexual Addiction

This new discovery of your partner’s life has thrown your world upside down; questioning your past, feeling as if the relationship has been a lie, and your future destroyed. You may find yourself on this emotional roller coaster; enraged, depressed, numb, confused, alone, embarrassed. These emotions are to be expected right now as you make sense of things.
Many people jokingly toss around the word “sex addict” as a way to say that they really really really enjoy sex. But sexual addiction is nothing to joke about. Sexual addiction ruins marriages, relationships, careers, and in most cases lives.

There are thousands of men and women out there suffering, committed to fighting for the relationship, yet hurting from the actions of their partner. This time can be a lonely place with no one to talk to. A fear of how others judge, or feelings of shame about the relationship may arise. Please know that you are not alone.  Now is time to learn how to cope and get through your partner’s sexual addiction.

san diego relationship advice sexual addictionHere are a few tips on getting your life back on track when in a relationship with a sex addict:

Remember, it has nothing to do with you!

Being involved with a partner suffering from sexual addiction causes an emotional rollercoaster. You might feel ashamed or demoralized. You may have difficulty trusting and fear for the relationship. A common feeling for those in the relationship is feeling responsible, not good enough, and self evaluating. Asking “What is wrong with me? Am I not good enough for my partner?” Once again, it has nothing to do with you!

Seek professional help:

Addiction is addiction. Start couples therapy to help learn how to build a healthier relationship and recover together. Individual counseling might help for you to decide what you want…and then stick to it. Couples counseling will also help get you educated about what you can and cannot do to rebuild the relationship.

Rebuild Sexuality:

Learn about what healthy sex is. Sex experiences can be extremely skewed when having an intimate relationship with someone who suffers from a sexual addiction. If you have become indoctrinated into sexual roles which seems abnormal, re-educate yourself to your needs and desires.

Get educated on sexual addiction:

There are many books on sexual addiction and how to handle having a partner with sexual addition. (Check out my sexual addiction resources page for specific tools to help you take back your life).

Set boundaries and follow through:

Sex addicts have difficulty setting healthy boundaries. Teach your partner what is acceptable in the relationship and what is not. Then, it is your job to keep strong to what you say and follow through.
This will be a difficult process, dealing with addiction always is. If you need additional support, book a session with us – individual or couples.


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It’s been nearly 20 years since I first became interested in studying psychotherapy. I began practicing the scientific approaches to psychotherapy in 1997 and I was hooked from then on.

I earned my Master’s Degree in Marriage and Family psychotherapy in 2004 and I am currently licensed as a Marriage and Family Therapist MFT (LMFT#47653) with the Board of Behavioral Sciences (BBS).

I focus my practice upon the empirically-based and proven research methods of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT).

I’ve seen these techniques consistently get results and I truly believe they are the most effective at creating positive, long-term change.

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Seeking a therapist can be the best thing you do not just for your relationship, but for yourself. If you are seeking compassionate, knowledgeable, and understanding professional help, we invite you to explore our services. We are here to help you make the most of your life.