Divorce Counseling

Know that you aren’t in it alone

There’s no way to sugar coat it – going through a divorce is rough. Most commonly, a divorce does not occur due to one isolated incident, but a series of small incidences that have built up slowly over time.

Finding Common Ground

More than often there is not one party to blame. Cutting ties with your partner brings a bevy of emotions to the surface. Coming to grips with the end of a marriage does not have to happen in a bubble. We are here to help you cope, guide you in experiencing your emotions, and ensure that you come out on the other side of the divorce with clarity and understanding.

Your marriage might have ended for a number of reasons. For example, some couples try so hard and just can’t get things to work. Or certain people burn out and lose their connection, cutting the attachment cord along the way. Others have been hurt by so many injuries over time that the wounds are too great to fully heal. Or worse, couples seek out counseling when it is “too little too late.”

If you are currently going through or recovering from a divorce, this can be a hard time. You may struggle with coming to terms with the relationship, handling the financial blows, or sorting out your emotions. This doesn’t have to keep you in the dark place. There is hope and you can find yourself!

Your therapist is here to help you sort out your emotions. It is then that you will understand how the injuries have impacted your heart and learn how to heal in a way to feel more confident and self-sufficient.

Identifying the source of your stress to facilitate your healing journey

Divorce can create feelings of stress, anxiety, and depression for countless reasons, including:

  1.     Financial stress due to the money necessary to work with a lawyer

As if the emotional toll of a divorce isn’t enough, the money required for a lawyer might feel staggering. This is especially true if you are already strapped for cash. The financial stress involved with filing for divorce can easily compound with your emotional distress. This leads to one big monster of an emotional rollercoaster.

  1.     Sorting out possessions

The physical act of dividing your lives can drum up a lot of heartache and distress. This might feel like the physical manifestation of the dissolving of your marriage, but it does not have to overwhelm you. Learning to communicate with your ex-partner through the process is critical to creating a smooth transition. A therapist can help you practice these communication techniques and guide you in coping with the stress of divvying up possessions.

  1.     Divorcing with children

Some couples are able to work through child custody in a civil manner, while other times things can get ugly. Depending on the level of difficulty you face here, you may experience higher levels of stress. Regardless of if it’s a relative walk in the park, there is still a lot of emotional upset that comes with divorcing when children are involved. Even the most civil parents will have to have the tough conversations with their children and help the child to sort through their emotions all while trying to balance their own. Talking your child through your divorce can feel overwhelming. This stress especially compounds when custody battles come into play. A therapist is here to guide you through these emotions so that you are not buried by the overwhelm associated with simply taking on too much.

  1.     Letting go of the ideal you held for your life and relationship

Working through a divorce can leave you with a feeling of failure. Perhaps you held on to the relationship for so long with the hope that one day, things would change. You may have stuck it out for years, clinging to what the relationship had previously been. With the decision finally made, you will face a lot of emotional turmoil, and learning the skills for coping and letting go will be paramount to your healing journey.

If you are experiencing any or all of the above complications in the aftermath of your divorce, know that you do not have to work through it alone. There are several different approaches you can take and a therapist is here to facilitate your healing journey.

When people think of couples counseling, they typically associate it with couples that are actively dating or married. However, this does not have to be the case. Divorce counseling as a couple is really an extension of couples counseling. You and your ex-partner are encouraged to discuss your experiences through the divorce in a safe and neutral space, with a therapist there to guide the discussion and offer their own insight in a balanced way. This encourages healthy and effective communication between you and your ex-partner as you cope with your separate emotions throughout the process. 

If divorce counseling as a couple does not seem within reach, then you are absolutely encouraged to work with a therapist on your own. This may especially ring true if you are ending a marriage with an abusive partner. Individual counseling through the divorce process is just as useful in bringing clarity to your situation and is a much safer approach in the instance that your partner is physically and/or emotionally abusive.

How can therapy help:

Here are a few ways that a therapist will guide you in your healing journey:

  1.     Establish effective communication methods

Working through a divorce brings with it feelings of hurt, abandonment, betrayal, and grief, to name a few. It can be easy to weaponize your words against your partner. Similarly, you might extrapolate meaning from their actions that is simply not true. While these are perfectly natural ways to respond when you’re feeling hurt, there are practicable methods to ensure that not only are you communicating effectively to your partner but you are also interpreting their words and actions from a place of understanding and reason. A therapist can help identify where and why communication breakdowns are occurring, and how to introduce healthy communication practices to ease the pain of the divorce.

  1.     Help to identify the source of your hurt and despair

There’s no way around it – divorce is extremely difficult. Whether you were the one to initiate the divorce or it was your partner that pulled the plug, the entire process can leave you feeling hurt and depressed. Your feelings of abandonment may stem from something as dramatic as betrayal of infidelity, or simply from the slow burn of the dissolution of your marriage over many years. No matter how the divorce played out, a therapist will aid in identifying the source of your emotions. This provides a blueprint of where your healing is most required. It is only once you have tapped into the “why” behind your feelings that you can address your emotional demons and move forward with piecing your life back together.

  1.      Help to identify the positive elements of your divorce

The word divorce itself is loaded with negative connotations. The truth is that sometimes divorce is the best thing you can do for yourself. Knowing your worth and finding the bravery to step outside of a harmful marriage can mean the difference between slogging through life unhappily and leading a fulfilling existence. A therapist will help you to view your divorce through a positive scope. What doors will open now that you’ve made the decision to move on from this relationship? What harmful or damaging scenarios are you leaving behind as a result? These are questions that are open for exploration and help to frame your divorce in a more positive light. 

  1.     Assist you in “starting over”

Once the papers are signed and the possessions divided, there can be a crippling fear of what happens next. This does not have to be a scary process. Our therapists are here to help you sort through the anxieties associated with this new chapter of your life. Change can be terrifying, but it does not have to be painful. If you are feeling aimless in your next step, a therapist is available to act as a sounding board and offer tips in coping with this new stage in your healing journey.

Some couples are able to walk away from their marriage in a clean and respectful manner.  However, sometimes the divorce brings out the nasty parts of one another. You might feel that you are fending for yourself, fighting for your children, and enduring blows below the belt. This is not a time to walk alone. This is the time to get additional support and resources, to gain self-empowerment, and to learn to grieve in a healthy manner.

If you are reading this, you are probably in the midst of the divorce and looking for the right fit for counseling. Looking for Divorce Counseling in San Diego can get overwhelming. We invite you to review our website and how we work, and cruise through the articles on this site. If you have questions, pick up the phone and give us a call. Better yet, schedule your counseling session online now with no hassle or back-and-forth emails. It is simple.

Call or Text Us at Estes Therapy

Call us at 619-558-0001 today to get started on the process. Trying to find out what might be some of the blocks keeping you from finding a partner can make a big difference.

Get in Touch

If you and your partner are considering divorce, or you are going through a divorce and want to mitigate the difficulties associated with that, contact Estes Therapy Oceanside today to book an appointment. Divorce counseling can help you make the most of a bad situation, and we can help.

Divorce Counseling

Pre-Nuptial And Post Divorce Services

Finding Common Ground

Sometimes divorce can come out of nowhere for couples, especially if one partner doesn’t feel like there is anything wrong. You or your partner may feel betrayed or confused about what has happened. If children are involved in the relationship, it can be difficult to know how to move forward without feelings of guilt and worry. Our licensed and professional divorce counseling therapists are here to help. There’s no need to try to navigate this difficult time in your life alone. Working with a knowledgeable and understanding therapist can help you and your partner find common ground and determine a path forward to dissolve the marriage if that is what you decide to do.

Many people are outraged when one partner wants a divorce, and the other doesn’t. Resentment, spite, and even abuse can result from the partner who feels like they are being left behind while the partner who initiated the divorce is going off to live the other life they wanted. People get hurt. Tempers are lost. Things get said. And it’s hard for everyone.

If you and your partner are willing to speak to a divorce counselor, we can help make the divorce process a lot easier for everyone. You can expect our full support and a variety of tools to help you cope with this loss in your life.

While there might not seem to be any upside to divorce, there are many ways to view it and get through it without letting pride and anger get in the way of progress. Some of the benefits of divorce counseling in Oceanside, California include:

  • A chance to bring about concerns and issues in an open and honest environment
  • An opportunity for each partner to speak their thoughts and be heard
  • A plan to split amicably and reduce the impact on the family as much as possible
  • An opportunity to talk to your children about the divorce in a way that doesn’t promote blame or anger
  • A chance to take responsibility for your actions and your partner can do the same
  • You can forgive and begin to move on in your life with the help of a divorce counselor
  • You can make a plan for yourself after your divorce has gone through and start to rebuild your own life again
  • Figure out how to co-parent or share custody of children
  • Recognizing your own shortcomings in the relationship and to explore how you can learn from such an experience
  • And more
There’s no doubt that divorce is a complicated thing for families to go through. Whether you are a couple of two, or you have a large family with children, divorce can leave lasting scars for everyone. At our Oceanside location of Estes Therapy, we work with the entire family to tease out issues that are at the forefront, but that could also arise over time. For younger children, divorce doesn’t really hit home until they are much older and some of the residual effects of their parent’s divorce can come to the surface. We’ll help everyone in your family deal with the divorce in their own way and ensure that everyone feels supported and understands a way to move forward.

What are Some Reasons Why Couples Get Divorced?

The reasons why a couple might decide to divorce are as varied as the couples themselves. It can be hard to pinpoint the exact cause why a couple decides to go their separate ways, especially when one person says they no longer love the other. We help couples get to the heart of the problem and discuss their concerns and reasons in a supportive, open environment. Sometimes infidelity or a long-term affair can be the reason a couple splits up, but there are usually underlying issues that led one partner to cheat on the other partner in the first place. In order to provide some closure for partners, we offer counseling to work through those issues so that there are no unanswered questions. Not knowing what happened can devastate a person and we find that putting all your cards on the table makes the most impact and allows people to move on after a divorce. People also get divorced because they have grown apart, they want different things, they no longer get along, they fight too much, they have money problems, and more.

Schedule an Appointment

Seeking a therapist can be the best thing you do not just for your relationship, but for yourself. If you are seeking compassionate, knowledgeable, and understanding professional help, we invite you to explore our services. We are here to help you make the most of your life.

Divorce Counseling

There’s no way to sugarcoat it – going through a divorce is rough. Most commonly, a divorce does not occur due to one isolated incident, but a series of small incidences that have built up slowly over time. More than often there is not one party to blame. Cutting ties with your partner brings a bevy of emotions to the surface. Coming to grips with the end of a marriage does not have to happen in a bubble. We are here to help you cope, guide you in experiencing your emotions, and ensure that you come out on the other side of the divorce with clarity and understanding.

Your marriage might have ended for a number of reasons. For example, some couples try so hard and just can’t get things to work. Or certain people burn out and lose their connection, cutting the attachment cord along the way. Others have been hurt by so many injuries over time that the wounds are too great to fully heal. Or worse, couples seek out counseling when it is “too little too late.”

If you are currently going through or recovering from a divorce, this can be a hard time. You may struggle with coming to terms with the relationship, handling the financial blows, or sorting out your emotions. This doesn’t have to keep you in the dark place. There is hope and you can find yourself!

Your therapist is here to help you sort out your emotions. It is then that you will understand how the injuries have impacted your heart and learn how to heal in a way to feel more confident and self-sufficient.

Identifying the source of your stress to facilitate your healing journey

Divorce can create feelings of stress, anxiety, and depression for countless reasons, including:

  1.     Financial stress due to the money necessary to work with a lawyer

As if the emotional toll of a divorce isn’t enough, the money required for a lawyer might feel staggering. This is especially true if you are already strapped for cash. The financial stress involved with filing for divorce can easily compound with your emotional distress. This leads to one big monster of an emotional rollercoaster.

  1.     Sorting out possessions

The physical act of dividing your lives can drum up a lot of heartache and distress. This might feel like the physical manifestation of the dissolving of your marriage, but it does not have to overwhelm you. Learning to communicate with your ex-partner through the process is critical to creating a smooth transition. A therapist can help you practice these communication techniques and guide you in coping with the stress of divvying up possessions.

  1.     Divorcing with children

Some couples are able to work through child custody in a civil manner, while other times things can get ugly. Depending on the level of difficulty you face here, you may experience higher levels of stress. Regardless of if it’s a relative walk in the park, there is still a lot of emotional upset that comes with divorcing when children are involved. Even the most civil parents will have to have the tough conversations with their children and help the child to sort through their emotions all while trying to balance their own. Talking your child through your divorce can feel overwhelming. This stress especially compounds when custody battles come into play. A therapist is here to guide you through these emotions so that you are not buried by the overwhelm associated with simply taking on too much.

  1.     Letting go of the ideal you held for your life and relationship

Working through a divorce can leave you with a feeling of failure. Perhaps you held on to the relationship for so long with the hope that one day, things would change. You may have stuck it out for years, clinging to what the relationship had previously been. With the decision finally made, you will face a lot of emotional turmoil, and learning the skills for coping and letting go will be paramount to your healing journey.

If you are experiencing any or all of the above complications in the aftermath of your divorce, know that you do not have to work through it alone. There are several different approaches you can take and a therapist is here to facilitate your healing journey.

When people think of couples counseling, they typically associate it with couples who are actively dating or married. However, this does not have to be the case. Divorce counseling as a couple is really an extension of couples counseling. You and your ex-partner are encouraged to discuss your experiences through the divorce in a safe and neutral space, with a therapist there to guide the discussion and offer their own insight in a balanced way. This encourages healthy and effective communication between you and your ex-partner as you cope with your separate emotions throughout the process. 

If divorce counseling as a couple does not seem within reach, then you are absolutely encouraged to work with a therapist on your own. This may especially ring true if you are ending a marriage with an abusive partner. Individual counseling through the divorce process is just as useful in bringing clarity to your situation and is a much safer approach in the instance that your partner is physically and/or emotionally abusive.

How can therapy help:

Here are a few ways that a therapist will guide you in your healing journey:

  1.     Establish effective communication methods

Working through a divorce brings with it feelings of hurt, abandonment, betrayal, and grief, to name a few. It can be easy to weaponize your words against your partner. Similarly, you might extrapolate meaning from their actions that is simply not true. While these are perfectly natural ways to respond when you’re feeling hurt, there are practicable methods to ensure that not only are you communicating effectively to your partner but you are also interpreting their words and actions from a place of understanding and reason. A therapist can help identify where and why communication breakdowns are occurring, and how to introduce healthy communication practices to ease the pain of the divorce.

  1.     Help to identify the source of your hurt and despair

There’s no way around it – divorce is extremely difficult. Whether you were the one to initiate the divorce or it was your partner that pulled the plug, the entire process can leave you feeling hurt and depressed. Your feelings of abandonment may stem from something as dramatic as betrayal of infidelity, or simply from the slow burn of the dissolution of your marriage over many years. No matter how the divorce played out, a therapist will aid in identifying the source of your emotions. This provides a blueprint of where your healing is most required. It is only once you have tapped into the why” behind your feelings that you can address your emotional demons and move forward with piecing your life back together.

  1.      Help to identify the positive elements of your divorce

The word divorce itself is loaded with negative connotations. The truth is that sometimes divorce is the best thing you can do for yourself. Knowing your worth and finding the bravery to step outside of a harmful marriage can mean the difference between slogging through life unhappily and leading a fulfilling existence. A therapist will help you to view your divorce from a positive scope. What doors will open now that you’ve made the decision to move on from this relationship? What harmful or damaging scenarios are you leaving behind as a result? These are questions that are open for exploration and help to frame your divorce in a more positive light. 

  1.     Assist you in “starting over”

Once the papers are signed and the possessions divided, there can be a crippling fear of what happens next. This does not have to be a scary process. Our therapists are here to help you sort through the anxieties associated with this new chapter of your life. Change can be terrifying, but it does not have to be painful. If you are feeling aimless in your next step, a therapist is available to act as a sounding board and offer tips in coping with this new stage in your healing journey.

Some couples are able to walk away from their marriage in a clean and respectful manner.  However, sometimes the divorce brings out the nasty parts of one another. You might feel that you are fending for yourself, fighting for your children, and enduring blows below the belt. This is not a time to walk alone. This is the time to get additional support and resources, to gain self-empowerment, and to learn to grieve in a healthy manner.

If you are reading this, you are probably in the midst of a divorce and looking for the right fit for counseling. Looking for Divorce Counseling in San Diego can get overwhelming. We invite you to review our website and how we work, and cruise through the articles on this site. If you have questions, pick up the phone and give us a call. Better yet, schedule your counseling session online now with no hassle or back-and-forth emails. It is simple.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *