▹Posts Categorized: Dating

Am I Codependent?

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Therapy can help you find, and feel, yourself again

While those who are codependent have good intentions, it is actually harmful for both the individual and their relationships. Codependent people have poor boundaries and difficulty understanding their own thoughts and emotions because they spend their time and energy pleasing those around them; leading to a lost sense of self. Codependent relationships can be with a romantic partner, a friend, or family member. Ask yourself these questions to gauge your codependency?

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Date Night Ideas in San Diego

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Dating

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It’s easy to fall into the routine of your life and get comfortable in your relationship to the point where maybe it feels like date night is getting a little stale. It’s easy to go to your usual restaurant or movie and then call it a night. But sometimes you want to try something new and fun with your partner, this way you won’t feel like you’re flame is fading. Since we are in the business of healthy relationships, we’ve put together a list of date night ideas in San Diego!

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Estes Therapy Team’s Favorite Love Songs

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Connection, Dating, Videos

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Get in the mood for date night connection.

It's Valentine's Day! We thought it would be fun to put together a list of some of our favorite love songs - whether they hold special meaning, like first dance songs, or just some catchy tunes that get us excited about love.

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7 Easy Date Night Recipe Ideas

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Connection, Dating, Health

7 Easy Date Night Recipe Ideas

The way to someone's heart is through their stomach

Okay, so there's a lot more to relationships than enjoying good food together, but a dinner date night is classic. Whether it's date 1 or 1,001 cooking together is a great way to connect or re-connect. You get to bond together cooking in the kitchen - or at least set time aside to sit down and enjoy each other's company. So turn your phones off, head to the kitchen, and get cooking.

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Worst Relationship Advice

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17 Examples of the Worst Relationship Advice We've Heard

We all like to give and get advice. We read it in magazines and articles online, we hear it on tv and from friends and family. Sometimes, the advice is not good, and can actually be harmful to a relationship or an individual. We put together a list of the 17 worst pieces of relationship advice we've heard, and an explanation to why each piece is not true.

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Four Divorce Predictions and Their Antidotes

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After over 40 years of research, Dr. John Gottman has seen four main predictors of divorce and unhappy relationships.

Divorce or separation doesn’t come without warning. You or your partner isn’t going to go to sleep completely happy with your relationship and then wake up the next morning and think “never mind” for no reason. So what should you be looking out for? Criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.

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Six Steps for Dating Your Spouse Again

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How to keep focus on your relationship - even after marriage

With crammed schedules and the balancing act of work, kids, family, stress, and maybe even a little self-care time, becoming ‘autopilot partners’ can be SO easy. With the autopilot left on over time, your spouse can begin to feel like a roommate.  This can lead to falling into routines of disconnection that end up hurting you both. Being intentional about dating your spouse will not only work to keep you close and connected, it will also buffer your relationship against negativity- making those inevitable tough conversations a little bit easier. Plus, dating each other again can be a lot of fun. Sounds like a win-win-win!

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How To Deal With Your Defensive Partner

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How do you stop defensiveness from harming your relationship?

Your partner hurt your feelings or crossed a line. You want to share how you feel, but you never feel heard. Better yet, you have tried so many ways to talk about your feelings and get nowhere. They respond with explanation and frustration. They may say, “I would have gotten that done sooner, but I was busy.” Or “You are always so critical.” While we can’t control how your partner responds, we can increase the chance that they will listen by communicating in a positive and constructive way.

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6 Steps to Prevent Your Partner’s Defensiveness

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Defensiveness puts up a wall in your relationship. Stop it before it starts.

A defensive person is emotionally closed off, argumentative, and often exhibits negative body language like crossed arms. They will deflect the conversation away from the original issue and either refuse to engage or launch loosely related counterattacks on their partner. This doesn't sound like the kind of person you would feel safe expressing your hurt or concerns with, does it? So how do you stop yourself or your partner from jumping to the defensive?

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5 Steps To Stop Looking at Your Ex’s Social Media Account

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Social Media and Break Ups

In this day and age, not only do we have the possibility of running into our ex's when we're out and about, but the ever-present social media makes checking up on them a constant option. You're killing time waiting in line or unwinding after work and the thought of "what is he/she up to" creeps into your head, and finding out is just one click away.

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Free Dates in San Diego (and elsewhere!)

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Keep an eye on your account balance while keeping the romance alive.

Most of us in relationships know that dedicated date nights are a good idea, especially once the relationship becomes committed and settles a bit. But a nice dinner and a show can get a little pricey. Fortunately for you and your bank account, expense ≠ romance. A little creativity and planning can make all the difference and that thoughtfulness is what really translates to your partner. Without further ado, here are some ideas for free dates in San Diego. If you're not in our lovely city, no worries! Try looking for an equivalent locale for your area.

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Dating Advice: How to Be a Charming Date

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Dating

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Dating Advice by Jen Zajac, IMF

So you have a date -- regardless of your gender and if you were asked or did the asking, it’s likely you have some pre-date butterflies. We all have a desire to be perceived in our best light ("charming", if you will), and the pressure of ‘getting everything right’ on our first impression (or first few impressions) can be stressful. It’s human to want to be liked, and many often fret about saying the wrong thing or coming across the wrong way (especially if we have already established that we do indeed have an interest in the other party). The most charming dates are those that show genuine interest in getting to know their dates.

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