Reasons Why Your Boundaries Suck (And How to Fix Them)
Okay, y’all. We need to talk. I’m going to hit you with a bit of tough love from your resident couples therapist.
Read MoreBoundaries 101
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Posts Categorized: Dating
Date Night Ideas in San Diego
It’s easy to fall into the routine of your life and get comfortable in your relationship to the point where maybe it feels like date night is getting a little stale. It’s easy to go to your usual restaurant or movie and then call it a night. But sometimes you want to try something new and fun with your partner, this way you won’t feel like you’re flame is fading. Since we are in the business of healthy relationships, we’ve put together a list of date night ideas in San Diego!
Read MoreDealing with the Distance: Tips to Keeping up a Long Distance Relationship.
Whether you live apart or it’s an extended trip (for business or pleasure), having a long distance relationship has its own set of obstacles. Luckily with technology, it’s easier than ever to stay connected even when you’re far apart.
6 Apps to Make Long Distance Relationships a Little Bit Easier
Keeping up with a long distance relationship can be hard, and sometimes the distance can feel like an impossibly large hurdle. These apps will help you and your partner stay connected when you are miles apart.
Read MoreEstes Therapy Team’s Favorite Love Songs
Get in the mood for date night connection.
It's Valentine's Day! We thought it would be fun to put together a list of some of our favorite love songs - whether they hold special meaning, like first dance songs, or just some catchy tunes that get us excited about love.
Read More7 Easy Date Night Recipe Ideas
The way to someone's heart is through their stomach
Okay, so there's a lot more to relationships than enjoying good food together, but a dinner date night is classic. Whether it's date 1 or 1,001 cooking together is a great way to connect or re-connect. You get to bond together cooking in the kitchen - or at least set time aside to sit down and enjoy each other's company. So turn your phones off, head to the kitchen, and get cooking.
Read MoreWorst Relationship Advice
17 Examples of the Worst Relationship Advice We've Heard
We all like to give and get advice. We read it in magazines and articles online, we hear it on tv and from friends and family. Sometimes, the advice is not good, and can actually be harmful to a relationship or an individual. We put together a list of the 17 worst pieces of relationship advice we've heard, and an explanation to why each piece is not true.
Read MoreFour Divorce Predictions and Their Antidotes
After over 40 years of research, Dr. John Gottman has seen four main predictors of divorce and unhappy relationships.
Divorce or separation doesn’t come without warning. You or your partner isn’t going to go to sleep completely happy with your relationship and then wake up the next morning and think “never mind” for no reason. So what should you be looking out for? Criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.
Read MoreSix Steps for Dating Your Spouse Again
How to keep focus on your relationship - even after marriage
With crammed schedules and the balancing act of work, kids, family, stress, and maybe even a little self-care time, becoming ‘autopilot partners’ can be SO easy. With the autopilot left on over time, your spouse can begin to feel like a roommate. This can lead to falling into routines of disconnection that end up hurting you both. Being intentional about dating your spouse will not only work to keep you close and connected, it will also buffer your relationship against negativity- making those inevitable tough conversations a little bit easier. Plus, dating each other again can be a lot of fun. Sounds like a win-win-win!
How To Deal With Your Defensive Partner
How do you stop defensiveness from harming your relationship?
Your partner hurt your feelings or crossed a line. You want to share how you feel, but you never feel heard. Better yet, you have tried so many ways to talk about your feelings and get nowhere. They respond with explanation and frustration. They may say, “I would have gotten that done sooner, but I was busy.” Or “You are always so critical.” While we can’t control how your partner responds, we can increase the chance that they will listen by communicating in a positive and constructive way.
Read More6 Steps to Prevent Your Partner’s Defensiveness
Defensiveness puts up a wall in your relationship. Stop it before it starts.
A defensive person is emotionally closed off, argumentative, and often exhibits negative body language like crossed arms. They will deflect the conversation away from the original issue and either refuse to engage or launch loosely related counterattacks on their partner. This doesn't sound like the kind of person you would feel safe expressing your hurt or concerns with, does it? So how do you stop yourself or your partner from jumping to the defensive?
Read More5 Steps To Stop Looking at Your Ex’s Social Media Account
Social Media and Break Ups
In this day and age, not only do we have the possibility of running into our ex's when we're out and about, but the ever-present social media makes checking up on them a constant option. You're killing time waiting in line or unwinding after work and the thought of "what is he/she up to" creeps into your head, and finding out is just one click away.
Read MoreFree Dates in San Diego (and elsewhere!)
Keep an eye on your account balance while keeping the romance alive.
Most of us in relationships know that dedicated date nights are a good idea, especially once the relationship becomes committed and settles a bit. But a nice dinner and a show can get a little pricey. Fortunately for you and your bank account, expense ≠ romance. A little creativity and planning can make all the difference and that thoughtfulness is what really translates to your partner. Without further ado, here are some ideas for free dates in San Diego. If you're not in our lovely city, no worries! Try looking for an equivalent locale for your area.
Read MoreDating Advice: How to Be a Charming Date
Dating Advice by Jen Zajac, IMF
So you have a date -- regardless of your gender and if you were asked or did the asking, it’s likely you have some pre-date butterflies. We all have a desire to be perceived in our best light ("charming", if you will), and the pressure of ‘getting everything right’ on our first impression (or first few impressions) can be stressful. It’s human to want to be liked, and many often fret about saying the wrong thing or coming across the wrong way (especially if we have already established that we do indeed have an interest in the other party). The most charming dates are those that show genuine interest in getting to know their dates.
Read MoreDate Night Advice: Five Strategies to Making it Unforgettable
Think about what makes someone come home from a date night and tell their friends, "Wow, that was a great date! I had an awesome time and can’t wait to see them again.” While it might have been the wine or great music, it was most likely something more to it. Things that make a first date truly memorable are often found greater in the mental rather than the physical connections.
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