▹Posts Categorized: Conflict Resolution

A Story about Toilet Paper to Inspire Positive Change…Really

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How to make sure you don't adapt to unhealthy relationships

When I left America to live in Spain for a year, I couldn't always find toilet paper in the bathrooms. Something that most people in the US simply expect to be there could not be relied on, so I adapted. Everywhere I went, I kept tissue in my purse, and eventually it just became normal that I sometimes had to dip into my personal tissue stash. I learned to adjust to the situation. When I moved back to the United States, I had a reverse culture shock -- every bathroom had toilet paper and many also have paper towels. Something that I had thought of as "normal" and an expected convenience before I left for Spain suddenly took me off guard. I had a bit of "reverse culture shock" to something I knew was supposed to be there, but I learned to live without it.

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Storming Out of Fights: Here’s Why You Need to Stop

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Conflict Resolution

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How a Quick Exit Might Be Hurting Your Relationship

Sometimes an argument with your partner can get heated, or maybe you feel like you're having the same fight for the 5th time this week. It can be tempting to storm out of the room and slam the door behind you because you just don't want to deal with it. Sometimes cooling off can be helpful, but exiting a fight as a statement is not a good way to do it. When you suddenly leave, you are sending all sorts of messages to your partner that you may not even realize, and that are pretty hurtful. Here is why you might be damaging your relationship if you're someone who storms out when the going gets tough.

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How to Waste Your Money on Couples Counseling

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Why coming to counseling with one of the 3 A's will sabotage your effort

Yes, couples counseling can be a real life line for your marriage. But only if you are willing to do the work and come to counseling ready to be emotional, honest, and take real action. If you have any of the three A's: abuse, addition, or an affair -- your results won't be the best they could be. In fact, you might make very little progress at all. When you go to couples counseling with one or more of the three A's, you are wasting your money and time. Here's what I mean:

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Women: Do You Say “Go” When You Really Mean “Stay”?

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Stop! Don't push him out the door when you should be fighting for the relationship

Do you push your partner away when you're in trouble? Sometimes when one partner is in pain, he or she will tell the other person to leave. Especially if your partner is the threatening to leave, your hurt feelings may cause you to react by saying, "Fine, just go!" You might mean that you want them to leave for the night or forever. In reality, many times when this happens you actually want your partner to stay and fight for the relationship -- you don't want them to go at all!

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Are You Apologizing Right?

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It's more than just saying "I'm Sorry" -- and here's why.

Saying that you're sorry after you know you've done something wrong is often not an easy task. You may have a hard time finding the right words, or be worried that the other person will reject your gesture. Even if you're anxious, the worst thing you can do is just say a generic "I'm sorry" without any feeling or sincerity.

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Relationship Playbook: Rules to Live By

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Here is a mini-playbook of sorts. It doesn't include everything you need to know for a healthy relationship, but it's a good start.

Relationships are forever evolving, and every relationship is unique to itself. Each relationship you have in your life will be different in some way from any other relationship. Still, there are some basic rules to live by when it comes to relationships. Are you looking for some tenets to follow in your relationship?

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Cyber Bullying: One Woman’s Story

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Online bullying can start to unravel your life. Here is how one woman survived a bullying experience, and tips for how you can overcome it too.

Over the course of a few years I became friends on Twitter with a woman who I’ll call “Candace.” She was the victim of online bullies who relentlessly bothered her, threatened her, and posted things about her on other websites. Here is her story.

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Holiday Advice: How to Survive Holiday Stress as a Couple

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Do your in-laws drive you crazy? Are your partner's traditions totally different than yours? Here's how to keep it together during the holiday season.

Holiday stress can sneak up on you if you're not paying attention. On top of regular issues interpersonal stressors put on any type of relationship (be it straight, gay, familial, romantic, or friendly), the holidays can apply additional pressure. Gift-giving, decorating, party planning, and vacation arrangements are just some of the stressors that might pop up. During the eventful months leading up to the new year, many relationships under this kind of adversity will be put to the test.

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3 Ways to Keep Social Media Posts from Causing a Break Up

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If you click Send too soon, you might end up causing drama. Here's how thinking before you post can save your relationship.

We all have the basic human need of community support. This used to mean just your neighborhood, school, and people you interact with in person. However, our society has evolved so that we develop new relationships online with just a few clicks of a button. We now have more people cheering us on, giving us positive comments, or promoting our ego online. But, online communication can also complicate your romantic relationships – how much is too much? It’s important to set boundaries and have a full understanding of how to protect your relationship while posting on the web. Social media and relationships can only go hand in hand if you communicate well.

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Life on The Fence

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What to Consider if You're One Foot Out the Door.

Women who are unfulfilled in a relationship soon begin to live on the fence. Half invested the relationship, half completely checked out and ready to leave. When this happens, you can’t seem to find that feeling of love and feeling alive. Thoughts of stepping out of the relationship become more frequent and much more tempting. Women might feel especially torn because they don’t want to do the wrong thing, the guilt takes over, or the fear of the unknown gets overwhelming. The hardest part is when children are part of the equation; women can feel a strong sense of obligation to make it work for the kids yet they are dying inside. If you’re on the fence, look for the signs of burn out and ask yourself some big questions.

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Blended Family Wedding? How to Handle Your Kids’ Breakdowns

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Blended Family Wedding? How to Handle Your Kids' Breakdowns

Wedding Advice if one or both people have kids

When you are marrying someone new and one or both of you have children, there are bound to be some aches and pains along the way. Even if everyone gets along, it can be difficult for your kids to see you enter into a new marriage and have new siblings. Ideally, you can sit down with your kids and talk about how they’re handling things before your big wedding day. In the worst case scenario, your children will have a meltdown right before you walk down the aisle.

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Ways to Damage Your Relationship or Marriage

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Ways to Damage Your Relationship or Marriage

John Gottman, a marriage and parenting researcher, has written about behaviors that are damaging to relationships, along with seven principles needed to make marriage work. The following are some of the habits and behaviors that Gottoman has identified as being hurtful. When you read the list, focus on any behaviors that you do within your own relationship, and avoid searching for how your partner is within the relationship. The more you are aware of your own behaviors, the easier it will be to stop them.

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Women Having Affairs: How to Make a Decision

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How to deal with the guilt and make a decision

Women who have affairs can often feel as if their marriage has had a long death. You may have been emotionally unfulfilled for years, longing for a connection that feels unrequited. After years of reaching out and thinking it’s not working…you burn out. Sometimes, a certain someone can walk into your life and ignite a spark. This new relationship gets you excited, makes you feel validated, and might even make you feel like a Victoria Secret model. However, affairs can also bring guilt and shame, and figuring out how to resolve both relationships won’t be easy. Here’s what you need to know.

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