Posts Categorized: Conflict Resolution

Maintaining Connection During Social Distancing

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Staying safe and staying connected.

Social distancing really means physical distancing, but staying connected virtually. Without staying connected, we are really isolating ourselves. Isolation increases the risk of a variety of health problems (heart disease, dementia, depression) and leaves us feeling hopeless and alone as we try to make our way through the uncertainty and constant changes. 

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Quick Tips For Building Trust after Infidelity

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It might seem impossible, but you can learn to trust again when your partner has been unfaithful.

Facing the consequences of your actions and learning to rebuild trust after infidelity may feel never-ending, but hang tight --  it doesn't have to be like this forever. Simply because the relationship is in a tragic storm now doesn't mean that you won’t make it through to sunlight again.

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5 Steps to Communicating Needs In Your Relationship

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Asking for what you want: 5 steps to getting your needs met

We all have needs, but sometimes it can be difficult to convey these needs to our partners. We might struggle with how to communicate our needs or approach our partners. Our partners might misunderstand what we are asking for. Or we might simply fear what happens if our partners refuse to meet our needs.

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Don’t Be Afraid to Fight

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There are right ways and wrong ways to fight.

Often people worry that if they are fighting in their relationship that that means they do not belong together. But the truth is that fighting can actually help your relationship become healthier – if you do it right. Arguments, especially in the beginning of your relationship, help to define where the lines are. However, it is important to know what you are fighting about, to be clear about what is upsetting you, and to say what you really mean. Sometimes this is easier said than done.

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Four Divorce Predictions and Their Antidotes

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After over 40 years of research, Dr. John Gottman has seen four main predictors of divorce and unhappy relationships.

Divorce or separation doesn’t come without warning. You or your partner isn’t going to go to sleep completely happy with your relationship and then wake up the next morning and think “never mind” for no reason. So what should you be looking out for? Criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.

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How To Deal With Your Defensive Partner

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How do you stop defensiveness from harming your relationship?

Your partner hurt your feelings or crossed a line. You want to share how you feel, but you never feel heard. Better yet, you have tried so many ways to talk about your feelings and get nowhere. They respond with explanation and frustration. They may say, “I would have gotten that done sooner, but I was busy.” Or “You are always so critical.” While we can’t control how your partner responds, we can increase the chance that they will listen by communicating in a positive and constructive way.

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6 Steps to Prevent Your Partner’s Defensiveness

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Defensiveness puts up a wall in your relationship. Stop it before it starts.

A defensive person is emotionally closed off, argumentative, and often exhibits negative body language like crossed arms. They will deflect the conversation away from the original issue and either refuse to engage or launch loosely related counterattacks on their partner. This doesn't sound like the kind of person you would feel safe expressing your hurt or concerns with, does it? So how do you stop yourself or your partner from jumping to the defensive?

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Stop Pokémon Go from Ruining Your Relationship

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Should you say "stop" to Pokémon Go for the sake of your relationship?

Pokémon Go has quickly become nothing short of a cultural phenomenon. With so many players and an incredible amount of media hype in a culture arguably already electronically obsessed, many are concerned about how this augmented reality game could affect relationships.

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How to Resolve Relationship Fights

Resolving Relationship Fights

Conversations about conflict may be hard, but they aren't impossible.

You may have heard the statistic that only 7% of what you communicate is in your words. The rest is made up of body language and tone of voice. In order to be heard and understood in relationship fights, we need to keep calm, actively listen, and respond mindfully rather than just reacting.

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