Conflict Resolution Posts Categorized:
Learning to set boundaries is tough
It is common to worry that setting boundaries will cause a relationship to suffer and hurt the feelings of the other person. Knowing the purpose of asserting your limits is essential: setting boundaries brings clarity and safety to relationships.Read More
Asking for what you want: 5 steps to getting your needs met
We all have needs, but sometimes it can be difficult to convey these needs to our partners. We might struggle with how to communicate our needs or approach our partners. Our partners might misunderstand what we are asking for. Or we might simply fear what happens if our partners refuse to meet our needs.Read More
Do you have that gut feeling gnawing at you, telling you your partner is cheating? Are your alarm bells going off that something isn't right in the relationship? Here are 4 things to look for to help you know for sure if your partner is having an affair:
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There are right ways and wrong ways to fight.
Often people worry that if they are fighting in their relationship that that means they do not belong together. But the truth is that fighting can actually help your relationship become healthier – if you do it right. Arguments, especially in the beginning of your relationship, help to define where the lines are. However, it is important to know what you are fighting about, to be clear about what is upsetting you, and to say what you really mean. Sometimes this is easier said than done.Read More
After over 40 years of research, Dr. John Gottman has seen four main predictors of divorce and unhappy relationships.
Divorce or separation doesn’t come without warning. You or your partner isn’t going to go to sleep completely happy with your relationship and then wake up the next morning and think “never mind” for no reason. So what should you be looking out for? Criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.Read More
How do you stop defensiveness from harming your relationship?
Your partner hurt your feelings or crossed a line. You want to share how you feel, but you never feel heard. Better yet, you have tried so many ways to talk about your feelings and get nowhere. They respond with explanation and frustration. They may say, “I would have gotten that done sooner, but I was busy.” Or “You are always so critical.” While we can’t control how your partner responds, we can increase the chance that they will listen by communicating in a positive and constructive way.Read More
Defensiveness puts up a wall in your relationship. Stop it before it starts.
A defensive person is emotionally closed off, argumentative, and often exhibits negative body language like crossed arms. They will deflect the conversation away from the original issue and either refuse to engage or launch loosely related counterattacks on their partner. This doesn't sound like the kind of person you would feel safe expressing your hurt or concerns with, does it? So how do you stop yourself or your partner from jumping to the defensive?Read More
Should you say "stop" to Pokémon Go for the sake of your relationship?
Pokémon Go has quickly become nothing short of a cultural phenomenon. With so many players and an incredible amount of media hype in a culture arguably already electronically obsessed, many are concerned about how this augmented reality game could affect relationships.Read More
Conversations about conflict may be hard, but they aren't impossible.
You may have heard the statistic that only 7% of what you communicate is in your words. The rest is made up of body language and tone of voice. In order to be heard and understood in relationship fights, we need to keep calm, actively listen, and respond mindfully rather than just reacting.Read More
Every relationship could happily do without dramatic confrontations and the mess that ensues. So how do you have the tough conversation without the theatrics or name calling? Overcoming hurt is not a simple thing. Each of you have an array of feelings and it is important for both of you to share what you need.Read More
You will be shocked by what I learned about control in relationships while mountain biking.Read More