Best 50 Relationship Tips of the Year

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I started this year out using my social networking as a place to share free relationship tips to others.

For some people, twitter is a huge community and support network. For other people, it isn’t their cup of tea. As a business owner (and a therapist), I decided to create a place for support, providing relationship tips and tools on social networking sites. I thought it would be great to highlight some of my favorite quick tips.

Relationship Expert Therapist

Here are my 50 relationship tips of 2010 on Twitter:

  1. Don’t hibernate alone when feeling sad, bring a buddy into your cave to cuddle up with and stay warm.
  2. Your partner should be your “prince” or “princess”…nothing less. Treat them that way and find out how it helps the relationship!
  3. Trauma (loss, miscarriages, cancer, etc) can bring back old relationship pains and magnify the problems. Take action to heal the pains & bond.
  4. Any sentence with the word “BUT” attached will delete the first part of the sentence. “I like you, but…..” Just don’t use the word…
  5. You ALWAYS have a choice in how you respond. Take a chance and make a proactive choice in your relationship tonight. I dare you!
  6. What comes around, goes around….Remember this when you are handling conflict in your relationship. Give respect, get respect.
  7. Life is like the ocean: Some days the waves are calming, other days they are rough, and other ones are OUT OF CONTROL! Hang in there.
  8. What comes up….must come down.
  9. Lonely? Avoid booze right now. All it will do is numb the loneliness for a few more hours, but it will return again…yet bigger
  10. The amount of times you get knocked down is not what matters. What matters is the amount of times you pick yourself back up. –Azevedo
  11. Lonely? Don’t settle for just anyone. It will only hurt in the long run. Instead, focus on building a solid community of friends first.
  12. Surprise your partner at work with his/her favorite latte or some lunch…just because!
  13. Remember, we all stumble, every one of us. That’s why it’s a comfort to go hand in hand. ~Emily Kimbrough
  14. Karma…the more you give, the more you get back in return.
  15. Sometimes hitting a rock bottom is exactly what we need….even though in the midst of it it can feel like a storm that never ends.
  16. Be still in YOUR moment. Don’t let any stressors from the day get to you. For now, just be.
  17. WAKE UP… and enjoy that today is a new day (regardless of what happened yesterday).
  18. Setting boundaries can be scary, especially for those who hate to rock the boat. Trust me, boundaries help prevent boat rocking.
  19. Negative Labels: They only keep you down, stuck, and misunderstood. Throw away the label and live your life as YOU, dang it.
  20. Just Say “No”… to something you don’t have time for, doesn’t align with your values, or are doing just to please someone else. Repeat as needed.
  21. NOW….Now, more than ever, is the best time to snap out of it. Hang out with friends, spend time at the gym, or meditate.
  22. Positive Communication enables both parties to walk away with dignity and respect.. You know, that “warm & fuzzy” feeling!
  23. Intimacy is far more than just sex….Engaging in your partners interests and hobbies is another way to be intimate with your partner.
  24. Relationships and marriages have no room for selfishness and stubbornness
  25. If you don’t want your partner to rebel, stop mommy-ing them.
  26. Show your partner that you love them by leaving love notes around the house, in their brief case, or wallet.
  27. Keep the love alive by having random date nights and sporadic sexcapes
  28. Communicate, Communicate, Communicate!
  29. S-L-O-W D-O-W-N….if you are quick to react.
  30. f your partner shares how they feel, do not throw it back at them or point out what they aren’t doing. Instead, reassure them!
  31. Give your partner flowers…just because.
  32. Your partner can’t read your mind. Stop expecting them to know exactly what you want.
  33. What your therapist doesn’t know can impact the therapy process or draw it out longer. Be real with your therapist.
  34. Singlehood Date Night: plan a date with yourself! Go to the movies, get take out, or get massage.
  35. Are you resentful towards your partner? Maybe this is a sign for help. Don’t wait until the resentment drives a wedge in between the bond.
  36. Don’t assume your partner understands what you need or feel. They can’t read your mind. BE SUPER DUPER clear with them.
  37. “Don’t point out what others do wrong. Instead, DO EVEN more work to show how well you do the GOOD.” – Jennine Estes
  38. Validation, Validation, Validation! This is one of the KEY elements to communication. Validate first…then share your side.
  39. Turn off your television and cell phones tonight! Play games, be flirty, and enjoy each other.
  40. Successful relationships do not survive on love alone, it also requires loving responses when in difficult time.
  41. Can’t stop thinking about your ex? Re-shift your thoughts to other relationships, stay busy, and remember…you won’t be alone forever.
  42. Fear keeps too many people stuck. Push through! Take a leap of faith and try something new.
  43. Relationship check-in: When was the last time you admitted your part to an argument?
  44. The more you decline invitations, the less your friends and partner will invite you. Think twice before you say no.
  45. Anger is a secondary emotion. Fear tends to be at the heart. Slow down and pay attention to your core emotions.
  46. Preventing yourself from hurting can actually cause pain. Life hurts some times. Stop trying to avoid life…
  47. Are you a “Social Network Stalker” where you read everyone’s stuff, but you don’t join in? Don’t stalk. Join in on the FUN!
  48. If you are feeling alone or left out from your partner or friend, tell them exactly that. Avoid telling them in a roundabout way.
  49. How often do you look at your partner in the eyes when you have sex? The eyes are the door to intimacy.
  50. Aim for success…be proactive for the future and work on the relationship TODAY. Not tomorrow, and not when it is hanging on by a thread.

Comment below your top relationship tips. What methods have you found tried and true? What’s the number one advice do you give friends?

About Jennine Estes, MFT

Think of me as your relationship consultant, I'm your neutral third party that can help you untangle the emotions and help you figure out what's really going on. I am a Marriage and Family Therapist in San Diego, CA. Certified in Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples. Supervisor. I write relationship and self growth advice for my column Relationships in the Raw. Creator of #BeingLOVEDIs campaign. MFC#47653