Are you a bridezilla? There is this huge amount of pressure to have that perfect wedding, to have exactly what we want and how we want it, and to make our vision of that day to come true. And at the same time, it can be easy to fall into the role of Bridezilla. So take a look and see if you are on your way to being a Bridezilla.
Below is a check list to see if you are becoming a Bridezilla (or flirting with the idea of it!):
Throwing a Fit: No matter the issue, if something isn’t going your way it gets on your nerves so badly that you throw unleash your fury, throw a fit. It may be on the telephone speaking to a vendor, at home with your parents, or directly at the groom. You get quick to snap, easily angered, and reactive various time throughout the week because things are lining up to the tee.
Your Life Becomes the Wedding: You become obsessive about planning the wedding and everything you talk about is the wedding. You no longer ask your friends, family, or fiancé how they are or discuss anything outside of the topic of wedding. Your life has literally become wedding planning. You no longer have nights with the girls chit chatting over relationships, work, and life. You loose sight of who you are, and you live life as a bride (or bridezilla).
Nit-Picky to Perfection: You get overly upset over the small small stuff. You focus so much on detail that you spend hours trying to perfect things. You nit-pick the vendors and the help you get from others. You end focusing on the small things, such as wrong type of font or color of the invitations isn’t exactly how you wanted it, so you complain to the company and demand new ones.
Nothing is good enough: Your groom just can’t get it right, mom’s input isn’t up to par, and your bridesmaids can’t seem to move fast enough. When you look at the progress of the wedding, all you can see is “what isn’t right” and the positive is out of sight. You don’t like the invitations, your dress doesn’t meet your expectations, and you doubt the venue.
Relationship Pains: You and your fiancé are no longer enjoying the engagement and all you two do is fight over the planning. Date nights have ended, relaxing cuddle time is non-existent, and you have a one-track mind. Your friends may be withdrawing and your family is starting to get tired of helping you out. Relationships are in agony because you are so consumed with the planning.
Being a Princess: The “I am the princess” seeps through your pores. Ever since you got engaged, you have this strong sense of being the princess; entitled to being taken care of, expect others to cater to your needs, being special, and the need to be the focal point. The Princess role has this feeling of I deserve to have others go out of their way for me, do as I say. If others won’t like a style of music or meal provided, you think, “It’s my big day. I only get married once, so people will have to live it.” The thought of others is foreign to you.
Set in Your Ways: If the groom tosses in his two cents about what flavor of a cake he wants or the song that he wants to dance to with his mother, you have difficulty being flexible. You get stuck in your vision of the wedding that you are unable to compromise and you shut your partner out of the planning.
The “Military Time” Schedule: You are so consumed with perfection that you lay out a strict schedule for the bridesmaids, groomsmen, parents, vendors, etc. The rigid schedule is to the tee. Your hope is to make the wedding day smooth, yet it gives no wiggle room for others.
About Jennine Estes, MFT
Think of me as your relationship consultant, I'm your neutral third party that can help you untangle the emotions and help you figure out what's really going on. I am a Marriage and Family Therapist in San Diego, CA. Certified in Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples. Supervisor. I write relationship and self growth advice for my column Relationships in the Raw. Creator of #BeingLOVEDIs campaign. MFC#47653