We’re about to embark on a no-holds-barred exploration into the world of relationship sabotage. Now, we all know that love can be a wild and unpredictable ride, but some of us seem to have a knack for turning a fairy tale romance into a gripping drama. Whether you’re unintentionally stumbling into pitfalls or executing a masterclass in relationship self-sabotage, this guide is here to spill the tea on the art of damaging the very thing that makes your heart skip a beat. So, grab a front-row seat as we delve into the intriguing (and often cringe-worthy) ways to put your relationship on the rocky road to heartbreak. It’s time to expose the secrets of love gone wrong, darling! 💔🔥
Here are 6 ways to damage your relationship:
According to Gottman, renowned for his expertise in relationship research, certain pitfalls can turn the smooth seas of love into a turbulent tempest. From communication mishaps to the subtle erosion of trust, Gottman unveils the intricate dance of love and the potential missteps that can lead couples astray. So, let’s take a front-row seat to the Gottman Symphony and explore how avoiding these pitfalls can be the key to orchestrating a harmonious and lasting love story. After all, who better to guide us through the maze of relationships than the maestro himself?
Harsh Start-up
The trajectory of a conversation often becomes evident within the initial three minutes. Should the discourse commence with a sharp tone, negativity, criticism, or sarcasm, chances are you’re on a direct path toward an argument.
The Four Horsemen:
- Criticism: Using negative words about your mate’s character/personality. When criticism becomes pervasive, it paves the way for the other horsemen. Criticism often takes the form of blame.
- Contempt: Sarcasm, cynicism, eye-rolling, sneering, mockery, hostile humor. Contempt is poisonous to a relationship because it conveys disgust.
- Defensiveness: Defending and explaining your position and behavior. Defensiveness is another way to blame your partner and not take responsibility.
- Stonewalling: Avoiding a fight, disengaging. This stops resolution of the problem. A “stonewaller” acts as though he or she doesn’t care.
Flooding
This means that your spouse’s negativity is so overwhelming and so sudden that it leaves you shell-shocked. This feeling is often followed by stonewalling.
Body Language
Body language can be louder than words. This may include rolling eyes, arm crossing, lack of eye contact. Also, pay attention to blood pressure when feeling stressed.
Failed Repair
This is when the couple does not attempt to repair or is unsuccessful in the repair attempts.
Bad Memories
This includes: finding the past is difficult to remember and has faded away, memories of the negative, and forgetting the positive times together.
