Ways to Damage Your Relationship or Marriage

We’re about to embark on a no-holds-barred exploration into the world of relationship sabotage. Now, we all know that love can be a wild and unpredictable ride, but some of us seem to have a knack for turning a fairy tale romance into a gripping drama. Whether you’re unintentionally stumbling into pitfalls or executing a masterclass in relationship self-sabotage, this guide is here to spill the tea on the art of damaging the very thing that makes your heart skip a beat. So, grab a front-row seat as we delve into the intriguing (and often cringe-worthy) ways to put your relationship on the rocky road to heartbreak. It’s time to expose the secrets of love gone wrong, darling! 💔🔥

Ruin Your Marriage relationship damage breakup break up

Here are 6 ways to damage your relationship:

According to Gottman, renowned for his expertise in relationship research, certain pitfalls can turn the smooth seas of love into a turbulent tempest. From communication mishaps to the subtle erosion of trust, Gottman unveils the intricate dance of love and the potential missteps that can lead couples astray. So, let’s take a front-row seat to the Gottman Symphony and explore how avoiding these pitfalls can be the key to orchestrating a harmonious and lasting love story. After all, who better to guide us through the maze of relationships than the maestro himself?

Harsh Start-up

The trajectory of a conversation often becomes evident within the initial three minutes. Should the discourse commence with a sharp tone, negativity, criticism, or sarcasm, chances are you’re on a direct path toward an argument.

The Four Horsemen:

  1. Criticism: Using negative words about your mate’s character/personality. When criticism becomes pervasive, it paves the way for the other horsemen. Criticism often takes the form of blame.
  2. Contempt: Sarcasm, cynicism, eye-rolling, sneering, mockery, hostile humor. Contempt is poisonous to a relationship because it conveys disgust.
  3. Defensiveness: Defending and explaining your position and behavior. Defensiveness is another way to blame your partner and not take responsibility.
  4. Stonewalling: Avoiding a fight, disengaging. This stops resolution of the problem. A “stonewaller” acts as though he or she doesn’t care.


This means that your spouse’s negativity is so overwhelming and so sudden that it leaves you shell-shocked. This feeling is often followed by stonewalling.

Body Language

Body language can be louder than words. This may include rolling eyes, arm crossing, lack of eye contact. Also, pay attention to blood pressure when feeling stressed.

Failed Repair

This is when the couple does not attempt to repair or is unsuccessful in the repair attempts.

Bad Memories

This includes: finding the past is difficult to remember and has faded away, memories of the negative, and forgetting the positive times together.

Read More

Counseling with Estes Therapy

All you need to know about counseling

Recognizing Unwanted Behaviors: How our Childhood Experience Affects our Adult Life

body language communicaiton advice

What is Your Body Language Saying About You?

Get To Know Jennine Estes: Therapist & Relationship Expert

how to stop the negative thinking

Stop Critical Thinking: Live Without Beating Yourself Up

Healthy Communication: It’s Not What You Said But How You Said It

It’s been nearly 20 years since I first became interested in studying psychotherapy. I began practicing the scientific approaches to psychotherapy in 1997 and I was hooked from then on.

I earned my Master’s Degree in Marriage and Family psychotherapy in 2004 and I am currently licensed as a Marriage and Family Therapist MFT (LMFT#47653) with the Board of Behavioral Sciences (BBS).

I focus my practice upon the empirically-based and proven research methods of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT).

I’ve seen these techniques consistently get results and I truly believe they are the most effective at creating positive, long-term change.

Schedule an Appointment

Seeking a therapist can be the best thing you do not just for your relationship, but for yourself. If you are seeking compassionate, knowledgeable, and understanding professional help, we invite you to explore our services. We are here to help you make the most of your life.