The importance of trust
Trust is an essential part of the foundations of a relationship. Without trust, your partner won't be able to turn to you for support, comfort, or guidance in issues both big and small. Without trust, there is a wall between you and your partner. In order to grow together in the relationship you need to be able to form that special bond -- you need to be able to rely on your partner, to feel safe and supported, to feel connected.
1. Follow Through
Learn to follow through with even small promises in your relationship. If you say you’ll be home at a certain time — either show up as scheduled or call to let your partner know about the delay. Aim for calling at least thirty minutes before the set time so they have notice. When you can be counted on for day to day things, your partner learns to rely on you for bigger issues too.
2. Avoid emotional Triggers
Don’t bring up things that you know will upset your partner during an argument just because you can. In order to feel a secure, trusting connection, your partner needs to know that you won’t go for the proverbial jugular whenever you have a disagreement.
During a time when you’re actively rebuilding trust it’s vital to communicate about issues both large and small. Keeping everything on the table and being transparent about your feelings will start to repair your secure attachment to each other.
4. Be Realistic
Take a deep breath before you react to your partner. If jealousy and mistrust have been a part of your relationship in the past, it seems natural to jump to negative conclusions. Stop and consider if any accusations or suspicions are realistic before you take action.
5. Take Your Time
Building trust in your relationship won’t happen overnight. If you expect major changes in just a short period of time, you’re setting yourself up for failure. Embrace the fact that this is a long journey, but you and your spouse will make it through together. If help is what your relationship need, don’t hesitate to seek out a couples counseling near you.
About Jennine Estes, MFT
Think of me as your relationship consultant, I'm your neutral third party that can help you untangle the emotions and help you figure out what's really going on. I am a Marriage and Family Therapist in San Diego, CA. Certified in Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples. Supervisor. I write relationship and self growth advice for my column Relationships in the Raw. Creator of #BeingLOVEDIs campaign. MFC#47653