3 Reasons to Think Before You Text Angry

Let’s talk about the modern-day gladiator arena: text fighting. We’ve all been there, fingers poised over the keyboard, ready to unleash a digital storm of sass and sarcasm. But before you dive headfirst into the textual battleground, let me drop some wisdom on you. Texting may seem like a harmless exchange of words, but oh sweetie, it’s a battlefield out there. So, before you hit send and ignite the drama, let’s discuss three fabulous reasons why thinking before texting is not just a suggestion, it’s a survival skill. Get ready, because in this world of emojis and LOLs, it’s not just the fittest who survive, it’s the wittiest.

Here are three reasons you should think before you text, especially when you’re in a fight!

  1. There’s not much context.

    Yes, sometimes it’s easier to put your thoughts in writing, because you can organize them and make sure you create exactly the message you want. However, when you’re texting, chances are you will type something no more than 200-300 characters, so what you say won’t have a lot of context surrounding it. This means that you won’t have as much space to explain fully what you mean, increasing the chances that your brief message could be taken the wrong way or misunderstood.

  2. It’s too fast.

    Your phone is probably within reach most of the time, so it’s easy to shoot off a text message when you’re mad at your partner. It’s much easier than if you had to actually dial his or her number, wait for it to ring, and either leave a message or actually talk to them. This could mean you are more likely to send something in an annoyed moment that you’ll later realize you wish you could take back. The next time you want to send

    advice-text-fighting-relationship

    a not-so-nice text, make yourself wait at least 5 minutes. You can even write a draft (just don’t hit send!) and then read it again in 5 to 10 minutes. You might realize the text sounds too mean or accusing, and now you’ll have the chance to delete it or change it before it gets sent.

  3. It can be read anywhere.

    Unlike a face-to-face conversation in which you can control the environment – your text will definitely be read from a mobile phone. This means you might catch your significant other right when they are about to head into a car and drive or go into an important meeting at work. Your partner may have just received some disheartening news, and suddenly whatever you wanted to angry text them about doesn’t seem as important and can be brought up at a later time. Be considerate – don’t send a text that is likely to upset your partner, because you can’t know for sure when he or she will happen to read it. It might be at the worst time possible!

Texting is easy and quick. It’s tempting to communicate that way when you’re upset. However, consider that your text might sound worse than you intend or be read at the worst possible moment. Instead, send a text saying that you want to talk in detail more later, or at the least, make yourself take a time out before you send a message.

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It’s been nearly 20 years since I first became interested in studying psychotherapy. I began practicing the scientific approaches to psychotherapy in 1997 and I was hooked from then on.

I earned my Master’s Degree in Marriage and Family psychotherapy in 2004 and I am currently licensed as a Marriage and Family Therapist MFT (LMFT#47653) with the Board of Behavioral Sciences (BBS).

I focus my practice upon the empirically-based and proven research methods of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT).

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