Why it's better to be happily ever single than in a mediocre relationship.
Sometimes when a relationship ends, or you haven’t been in a relationship for a while, you might start to feel down or as if being single is the worst thing in the world. Or, you might stay in a relationship that is less than stellar because you’re afraid of being alone. In reality, it’s better to be single, strong, and happy than be in a mediocre relationship just so you have the validation of being a part of a couple. There are several benefits to being single instead of staying in a bad relationship.
Healing Past Wounds
Were you hurt emotionally in your last relationship? Or are you being hurt in a current relationship? Bing single will give you time to deal with the emotional damage and wounds that have been left by others. If you don’t deal with past hurt, you might end up repeating negative cycles and choosing the wrong partners. Heal your hurt by talking to your friends and family, or visit a counselor if you want a professional, neutral opinion and a safe space where you can open up. Being single can be a huge blessing if you use it to deal with all of the baggage you’re carrying around.
Being single gives you time to build a strong connection with platonic friends. When you focus only on romantic relationships, you can forget that there are other very important relationships in your life, too. Spend time between romantic relationships appreciating and reconnecting with your friends – whether they’re single or in relationships. Fostering strong relationships with your girlfriends while you don’t have a man is a good long term investment – they’ll make for a great support system in good times and bad.
Trying New Things
Being single also means you can occupy your time by trying the activities you don’t always have time for when you’re juggling a relationship in your life. Whether it’s joining a book club, going surfing, or training for a marathon, you can use the time you’re single to enjoy new endeavors. You’ll build self-esteem, have fun, and meet new people. Staying busy is life affirming, and won’t leave you much time to wallow in your singlehood. You’ll also start to enjoy your independence and learn that there is more to life than just dating.
Building a Stronger You
Perhaps most importantly, getting out of a bad relationship and staying single gives you time to focus on you for a while. You can make long-term goals for yourself, learn to spend time with yourself, and find out what you like and what you don’t like. By becoming the best version of yourself, you’re more likely to attract the right partner, and be confident enough to ask for what you need in your next relationship.
Need some help being happy and single? Give me a call!
About Jennine Estes, MFT
Think of me as your relationship consultant, I'm your neutral third party that can help you untangle the emotions and help you figure out what's really going on. I am a Marriage and Family Therapist in San Diego, CA. Certified in Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples. Supervisor. I write relationship and self growth advice for my column Relationships in the Raw. Creator of #BeingLOVEDIs campaign. MFC#47653