Archive for marriage
Are Wedding Bells About to Ring? Don’t Forget to Invest in Your Marriage
Posted by: | Comments
It’s incredible the amounts of money people spend on weddings and why not, it’s an unforgettable and hopefully life-lasting union between two people who love and are committed to each other. What is interesting is how few people choose to invest in premarital education. Relationships require work to remain vibrant and healthy. I suspect what happens is that most couples, fully engulfed in the love and romance of the honeymoon stage, don’t consider for a moment that they might have things come up between them down the line. My suggestion is to pack as many tools in your marriage toolbox as possible to assist you down the line when life throws you a curve ball – which it will at some point. Read More→
Sex Advice: How Sex Doesn’t Need to be a Chore
Posted by: | CommentsLadies….Sex Doesn’t Need to be a “chore!”
Countless women across the world feel as if sex is more like a job and less of a special bonding time. When sex feels like a requirement or an expectation, the desire to be intimate can quickly dwindle away. Not only can it feel like a job, the ongoing pressures and the mental “to-do” list over take the mind and become a prominent thought. Even further, woman experience sex as a hassle, avoids the topic at all cost, is self conscious of their body, and/or dislikes the sexual act itself. Does this sound familiar?
The physical bond of intimacy is the rawest form of feeling attached and connected for couples. But what happens to relationships when sex feels like a job? This job-like view of sex eliminates the special connection, it prevents women from enjoying the experience, and it builds distance between two people. Good news, sex doesn’t have to be a job, work, or a chore! Read More→
Relationship Advice: Money’s Tight? Quick tips to keep your relationship strong
Posted by: | Comments
Relationships are facing more and more stress with the recession; foreclosures, loss of jobs, worry about money, arguing about money, decreased income, loss of stocks, etc. Many relationships are drastically hurting because their finances are declining. While in a hard time, relationships are supposed to be the comfort zone, the place to decompress and get soothed….especially in such an economic crisis. But that isn’t the case in some relationships.
Don’t be one those couples suffering simply because the bank account has dropped. Here are a few tips on keeping your connection strong while handling economic stress: Read More→
$20 Date Night Tips: Keeping your Relationship Strong when Money is Tight(Series 1)
Posted by: | Comments
Many couples have the stress with finances and struggle to keep the marriage securely attached. Marriage needs to be nurtured, similar to growing a flower. It needs sun light, water, nutrients from the soil, and time to grow.
A few years back, my husband was in school and I was starting my therapy practice. We didn’t have much money at the time, yet wanted to keep the relationship strong and connected. We started a game called $20 Date Night. We scheduled every Friday night for date night and we switched off with creating the date. The goal of date night is to create a date with only spending $20. To our surprise, we came up with many dates for $20 or less; it just took imagination and creativity. To this day, we continue or date night challenge… Read More→
Couples Advice: How Control Causes the Opposite Effect in Relationships
Posted by: | Comments
Several summers ago my husband I went to a local ski resort (yes, in the summer) where we went up the lifts, and then down the tails on our mountain bikes. It was a beautiful vista, with a bright clear sky, wind blowing at our face, and nature surrounding us. It was a beautiful day. Then my husband pushed me to my limits…by having me ride my mountain bike down narrow and rocky trails. I was terrified. I was afraid of getting hurt, so I tried my best to control the bike and the speed. The faster I went, the more fear I felt, and the more I tried to control the speed. The more speed, the more I had to use the brakes. Well, the more breaking you do going down a steep mountain with rocks, the more dangerous it becomes. I learned quickly…the more breaking, the more the bike seemed out of control.
I share this story to illustrate a common theme I see in relationships. The more we try to control uncomfortable situations, the more dangerous they become. Read More→
Money Stress and Marriage: How to Keep STRONG During a Recession
Posted by: | Comments
Many people are worrying about finances and are facing economic struggles. Quite frequently when finances drop, so does the relationship satisfaction. Don’t be part of that. If your bank account is dwindling, it is more important than ever to keep your relationship strong.
Here are ways on how to ieep your relationship strong while your finances are in stress: Read More→
Healthy Communication in Relationships: What does that mean?
Posted by: | Comments
Couples frequently come in to my office saying that they want “healthier communication.” But what does that really mean?
All of these high functioning, business oriented, goal driven couples communicate to one another; they talk, express how they feel, and continue to discuss ongoing issues. They regurgitate the problem over and over, they reshape the way they say things, they shift their perspective, and they constantly try various ways to explain their side. Communication is exactly what they do, but the bigger question is what do they accomplish? Learning how to communicate is too broad of an issue….healthy communication is about narrowing in, taking a deeper look at the interactions within each partner, and understand how the couple interact together. Read More→
Premarital Counseling: The Importance to Building a SOLID Foundation
Posted by: | Comments
Premarital counseling is a preventative tool, a way to maintain a healthy connection in the relationship and create a lasting commitment through effective communication. Relationships are an investment: the more you put into it, the more it will grow and mature. The more it grows and matures, the more you get out of it. Because statistics show that nearly 50% of marriages end in divorce (US Census Bureau, February 2002), premarital counseling can help couples avoid becoming part of that percentage. Read More→
Who I Am: Get To Know Your Relationship Expert & Therapist
Posted by: | Comments
I am a wife, a therapist, an adventure junky, a joker, a writer, a social butterfly, a motorcycle lover, a runner, and a busy bee.
I was once told that I wasn’t going to make it into graduate school and I wouldn’t be able to have a thriving private practice. I like challenges, so I took that challenge and proved them wrong. I am passionate and willing to take a risk for my life goals, dreams, and aspirations. My life long dream was to have a private practice….and I got it! Not only did I achieve my goal, but I bypassed my expectations.
I could tell you about the boring stuff…like being a Marriage Therapist in San Diego, and give you the “psycho-babble” jargon, but I would prefer to have you know ME, the person behind the scenes.
I sit in this brown swivel chair in my office, absorbing as much information as I can when I am with my clients. My goal is to really understand their world. My mind gets filled with movie images as they walk me through their lives, catching me up to speed. My heart dives in, and off we go. I don’t take sides…and I WON’T take sides. And I won’t pick who is “right” and who is “wrong;” couples already do enough of that. I don’t need to keep them stuck in that rut. So I try to take the couples out of their destructive ways of communicating, and into a new lens of the bond…creating a safe, secure bond. Read More→
Relationship Advice: Body Language Speaks Louder than Words
Posted by: | Comments
Have you ever wondered why your partner keeps hearing something totally different from what you are saying? The message you are sending may be very different from your words. In his book Silent Messages, Dr. Albert Mehrabian says that the majority of communication is through body language and tone of voice, not what is said. He calls it the “7%-38%-55% Rule.” Fifty-five percent of other people’s reactions to you are based on your facial expression, 38% based on your tone of voice, and only 7%of their reaction is from the words you are actually saying. While we usually know what we are saying, often we do not know what other messages we are sending through body language. Want to find out? Read More→
conflicting couples, affairs, communication struggles, etc.