Archive for Couples
Free Valentine’s Day Ideas for Couples’s
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It is that time of year again where the stores get filled with Valentine’s decorations, red balloons, hearts, flowers, and lover’s cards. Some people get excited about this time of year, yet other people worry about the lack of funds to do something unique. Good news…you don’t have to spend money on loud restaurants filled with noise and strangers. You can create romance and enjoy your relationship without spending money.
Here are few FREE Valentine’s Day ideas to help build a strong relationship bond:
- Scavenger Hunt: Step out of the box and try something unique by creating a scavenger hunt around your home. Create clues that include favorite memories together, how you feel about your partner, and other fun items. Be creative and have fun!
- Backyard Dinner: Cook a dinner together (yes, it does say ‘together’) and have a romantic dinner in your own back yard. Set the tone with candles and music. Show your partner how much they matter by getting dressed up and enjoy the night. Not only do you get the privacy in your own back yard, but you don’t have a waiter/waitress randomly appearing in your relationship.
- Hike and Picnic: Step out of the daily grind of the city life and take a dive into Mother Nature. Find a nearby hiking location and enjoy the scenery with your partner. The nature of the hike will help you feel up-lifted and positive while bonding together. First, the exercise of hiking has the body naturally release “happy chemicals” (neurotransmitters) which positively improve the moods. Secondly, nature is calming, tranquil, and beautiful which can automatically create an uplifting feel. The hike will automatically impact how you both feel internally and you can connect through the hike. After you soak up the beauty of the hike, find a nice place to lie on a blanket and have a picnic.
- Game Night by the Fire: Take advantage of the cold weather (even if you live in sunny San Diego like I do) and have a fire in your fire place. Do you remember how you two used to connect when you first were together? Find that playful and flirty side and get back into the groove of laughing with one another. Find how you two used to connect when you first met each other and make it come back alive. It is there….you simply need to find it again.
- Bonfire and S’mores: Since I live in San Diego, I have to put this one in (I am sorry for those who don’t have bonfires as an option). Why stay at home when you can cuddle up around a bonfire and eat s’mores? Surprise your partner and take them to a bonfire. Cuddling up with your loved one while eating s’mores is an automatic bonding time…without costing money.
If you have other FREE ideas for Valentine’s Day, share your thoughts and make a comment here!
Other Articles for Valentine’s Day:
“Married to My Business Partner”: Tips to a Healthy Balance with Intimacy and Business
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Separating work and home can be simple for most people. They go to work, handle stressful situations, manage their frustrations, interact with co-workers, and then leave the stress at the job site. Home is like a venting place; complain to the partner, share daily stories, talk about annoying coworkers, or even use home as place to relax and forget about the job.
People who are married to their business partner have added difficulty in separating work from home. Business talk and personal talk can blend; both occurring at all hours of the day. For many couples, the main question is when does work stop and the relationship start?
The blend in the marriage can have ups and downs. I work with a great deal of couples that co-own or co-operate businesses. The relationships with problems often have a common thread….an unbalanced relationship. Work can be consuming and in high demand, thus creating no time for the relationship. Couples often report that the relationship suffers and “finds it’s way in…when there is time.”
Why not have your cake and eat it too? You can find a healthy balance where your career and relationship are both successful.
- Make your relationship a priority. Keeping your relationship and business successful is quite simplistic. Put a time frame on work. Set up a few times when you two are “off the clock.” This is the time you will no longer discuss work. Set aside time for the two of you to enjoy one another, to relax and connect. You get to now focus on the relationship and it can be a priority.
- Create strong boundaries. When you are working, find respectful ways to discuss stressful situations. Because you are in a relationship, you might react or respond differently than speaking to a co-worker. Set up boundaries in the relationship. If you are working, make it work. Don’t take your partner’s stress personal.
- Talk, Talk, Talk. As a relationship therapist intern, I can’t emphasize enough about the importance of communication. Work requires one type of communication, and relationships require another type of communication. Communicate with your partner how you feel and what might bother you. Let him in and teach him what you need.
- Couples Time. Set up a consistent date time once a week…where work isn’t allowed to come in to the conversation. No matter how bad you want to talk about work, put it aside until you two are “on the clock.”
- Use your resources. Many couples share their work day with their partner. But you don’t have this leisure. He already knows. You can’t vent about your co-worker to your partner. Go to a respected friend to talk about your stress and to vent. Or get couples counseling to help you two handle the stress.
- Watch for Team Work. Notice how you two work as a team and support one another throughout the day. Provide feedback to your partner and tell him how much you appreciate his hard work. Pay attention to how you two make the business successful.
Another article that you might enjoy: Coping with Stress: Letting out the steam
Body Language Speaks Louder than Words
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Have you ever wondered why your partner keeps hearing something totally different from what you are saying? The message you are sending may be very different from your words. In his book Silent Messages, Dr. Albert Mehrabian says that the majority of communication is through body language and tone of voice, not what is said. He calls it the “7%-38%-55% Rule.” Fifty-five percent of other people’s reactions to you are based on your facial expression, 38% based on your tone of voice, and only 7%of their reaction is from the words you are actually saying. While we usually know what we are saying, often we do not know what other messages we are sending through body language. Want to find out?
Be aware of your body language while you communicate with your partner. Do you appear to be interested, engaged in what your partner has to say? Or are your arms crossed with an eye brow raised, looking disgusted even while you are trying to say in words, “I care about what you are saying.” If the words you use conflict with your nonverbals – that is, your body language and tone of voice – your partner will believe the nonverbals every time.
