Best 50 Relationship Tips of the Year
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I started this year out using my social networking as a place to share free relationship tips to others. For some people, twitter is a huge community and support network. For other people, it isn’t their cup of tea. As a business owner (and a therapist), I decided to create a place for support, providing relationship tips and tools on social networking sites. I thought it would be great to highlight some of my favorite quick tips.
Here are my BEST 50 posts of year 2010 I posted on Twitter.
- Don’t hibernate alone when feeling sad, bring a buddy into your cave to cuddle up with and stay warm.
- Your partner should be your “prince” or “princess”…nothing less. Treat them that way and find out how it helps the relationship!
- Trauma (loss, miscarriages, cancer, etc) can bring back old relationship pains and magnify the problems. Take action to heal the pains & bond.
- Any sentence with the word “BUT” attached will delete the first part of the sentence. “I like you, but…..” Just don’t use the word… Read More→
Turkey Trot: What are you thankful for?
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Thanksgiving is right around the corner, so I ask you…. What are you thankful for today?
All too often we tend to get caught up in our world of selfish and materialistic ways. The hustle and bustle of our daily routines become all encompassing, and leave very little time to stop and breath. But during this time of year, with the giving of thanks coming up on us, now more than ever is the time to truly be thankful. And maybe even give back.
Are you thankful for the roof over your head? For the fact that you are still gainfully employed in this weakened economy? For living in a country where we can still act how we want, say and do as we want, and be considered free? You see, you can walk on nearly any block in downtown San Diego where there are far too many people without homes or jobs. I wonder what they are thankful for….
Are you thankful for the love you have recently found? Or your children that give you life’s greatest pleasures? Or your family who is the rock of who you are today? When you sit down and really think about what makes you so thankful today, what comes to your mind? Read More→
Losing a loved one to cancer can be very traumatic and the healing process is different for everyone. Below is a story about how one woman’s healing process is to give back, to take action and raise money. She is putting on a benefit to raise money for the Breast Cancer Walk in honor of her good friend who died from breast cancer. Below is her story.
By Tiana Del Rio
A little over a year ago I lost one of my very best friends to breast cancer. Her name was Enika Gartner, I called her Enikers. She was just a young 38 years old, and she left a wonderful husband and 3 beautiful, very young children behind. She was supposed to walk the 3 Day with me last year, but passed away on October 24, 2009. The 3 day was just weeks after her passing. I remember opening ceremonies like it was yesterday. Read More→
Relationship Advice: What is an Emotional Affair?
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It all started with an innocent friendship, a simple flirty comment and WHAMO! Chemistry takes over and your internal world ignites on fire, you get excited, and your mind races a thousand miles a minute. Emotional affairs don’t include physical intimacy….it is basically all emotion.
Here are a few items that constitute an emotional affair: Read More→
Every one (and I think I can say this as a blanket statement) is impacted in one way or another from the economic stress; businesses closing, loss of jobs, constant worry about job security, foreclosing the home, friends struggling, or simply the news telling you another bad thing. Anxiety may be higher than ever, but this doesn’t mean you have to stop connecting with your partner. In fact, this is the time to support one another through the stress and help alleviate the pain.
A few years back, my husband was in school and I was starting my therapy practice. We didn’t have much money at the time, yet we realized the importance of nurturing the relationship. We started a game called $20 Date Night where every Friday night we switched off with creating the date. The goal is to create a date with only spending $20 or less. To our surprise, we came up with many dates; it just took imagination and creativity. To this day, we continue or date night challenge… Read More→
It’s incredible the amounts of money people spend on weddings and why not, it’s an unforgettable and hopefully life-lasting union between two people who love and are committed to each other. What is interesting is how few people choose to invest in premarital education. Relationships require work to remain vibrant and healthy. I suspect what happens is that most couples, fully engulfed in the love and romance of the honeymoon stage, don’t consider for a moment that they might have things come up between them down the line. My suggestion is to pack as many tools in your marriage toolbox as possible to assist you down the line when life throws you a curve ball – which it will at some point. Read More→
Relationship Advice: Secrets in a Relationship
By · CommentsWhy do some women tend to keep secrets from their husbands?
Women tend to keep secrets from their husbands for a variety of reasons; it could be from intense amounts of shame, to fear of losing the relationship, to past relationship wounds, to the fear of the packed away emotions exploding out and losing control, etc.
Some secrets are buried for good reasons….and keeping that secret hidden, kept inside can create a sense of feeling in control and emotionally safe. These deep, dark buried secrets are scary for many to open up and share the vulnerable issue. It can feel as if they won’t be able to maintain control, and that the over flowing emotions may not ever have an “end” in sight. It can simply be scary to open up, to feel the emotion. Feeling the emotion alone can be terrifying, and the unknown of what could happen if they open up Pandora’s Box…and not ever being able to put it back. Read More→
A Matter of Being Honest: A Deeper Intimacy For Couples
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I attended a social excursion, recently, wherein I was put on notice by a friend with “you want me to be completely honest with you? Well here goes . . .” Not only did this make me nervous, I braced myself for a barrage, and my fears came true, as a barrage of insulting conjecture came flying forth with a fierceness, I had not yet experienced with my friend.
Often times, couples will come into my office, with a chasm between them seemingly a lifetime long. They display and report hurt and distance and fear and distrust. They go round and round and argue utilizing the same phrases and statements, and tell me these are the same arguments they have at home. Repetitive. Unproductive.
When it is time for apologies, they are often cerebral exercises, “I am sorry” typically stated by the husband and the response is typically the wife stating, “yes, I’ve heard all this before.”
There is often follow up questioning, typically by the wife “but why, why did you do it in the first place?” and there is the husband’s typical come back “I am sorry, I won’t do it again.” Read More→
Sometimes our partner, friend, or family member might share a stressful story, discuss their daily struggle, or express concerns about a topic…. But you have no idea what response might be the proper one. How do you know what they need during a chat, whether it’s just a willing an ear to listen or to give constructive advice? This is no simple task…no matter if it is for friendships or intimate relationships. Read More→
Improve your Relationship by Taking Care of Yourself
By · CommentsThe “How to Save my Marriage” by Self-Improvement First
Think about the time when you are on an airplane ready for take off and you hear over the intercom that in case of an emergency, air masks will drop….and parents to first put the air masks on themselves, and then put it on the baby. This concept is that you can’t save your baby if you don’t get your own oxygen. Baby’s need parents to be alive and taken care of so the baby can be tended to. This concept is the same for relationships. We have to tend to ourselves, make sure we are feeling good and emotionally stable, so that we can tend to the relationship. In order to save a marriage, we have to be living and breathing in a healthy and strong manner.
The more you feel confident in your own skin, the more the confidence will seep out your pours. Here are 5 Elements of Self Care: Read More→
conflicting couples, affairs, communication struggles, etc.
