Archive for Counseling
What is Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) All About?
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EFT can help couples learn to listen to the root of each others' feelings.
Emotionally Focused Therapy – often called simply EFT – is a form of therapy that strives to help couples identify the underlying emotions that are guiding their relationship. The EFT approach was first developed by Susan Johnson and Les Greenberg in the 1980s, and it continues to become one of the most popular and effective ways to improve relationships. All humans are designed to turn towards each other in times of distress, but when a negative cycle emerges in a relationship, one partner may not be available to tend to the needs of the other. EFT aims to help couples figure out how to improve their communication cycle through the acknowledgement and communication of honest emotions. Read More→
Are Wedding Bells About to Ring? Don’t Forget to Invest in Your Marriage
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It’s incredible the amounts of money people spend on weddings and why not, it’s an unforgettable and hopefully life-lasting union between two people who love and are committed to each other. What is interesting is how few people choose to invest in premarital education. Relationships require work to remain vibrant and healthy. I suspect what happens is that most couples, fully engulfed in the love and romance of the honeymoon stage, don’t consider for a moment that they might have things come up between them down the line. My suggestion is to pack as many tools in your marriage toolbox as possible to assist you down the line when life throws you a curve ball – which it will at some point. Read More→
Social Networking Series: The Facebook-Addiction and how to take back control
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You may have experienced the feeling when you sit in front of your computer working and you see an email from Facebook staring at you. You think to yourself, “I will make a quick response and then get right back on track with work and be productive.” But next thing you know, you are readying the hilarious posts from friends, responding to interesting conversations, and saying hi to friends you haven’t seen for a while. As your “quick” peak evolves into a long-long time, the facebooking feels “addicting.” Does this sound familiar?
I search through a few of my own Facebook (FB) posts in regards to the “addicting” feeling. Here are a few of my random posts: “Why is it that when I have a thousand things on the ‘to-do’ list, I find myself lost on Facebook?!?!” Or my humor (yet also somewhat serious) about the addiction of Facebook: “I think I might start a new therapy group called “Facebook-aholics Anonymous.”
My random posts on Facebook had a bit of humor, yet it also spoke the truth. I can feel and see how easy it could be to get lost for hours and become out of control. I can moderate with social networking, but what about those who can’t redirect or limit themselves, or for those who have more addictive tendencies? Read More→
May 8th: Couple’s Relationship Retreat
Posted by: | CommentsThe Couple’s Retreat: Real Answers for Real Relationships
Is your relationship stuck?
Are you tired of the endless fighting?
Does your relationship need a tune-up?
May 8th Jennine Estes, your San Diego Marriage and Family Therapist, is putting on a relationship retreat that is cost effective and unique. It will provide couples with tools on building a stronger relationship, creating healthy communication, and getting relationships back on track. This unique retreat allows couples to decide how much they want to spend on the relationship. You can either simply come to the workshop, or stay for the date night, or even stay the weekend. It is all your choice.
The Relationship Retreat includes: Read More→
Premarital Therapy: Great Start for Marriage
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Remember back when you were a teen preparing to get your driver’s license. In order to get a driver’s license, several hoops must be jumped through; a permit test about the laws, driving classes, several months of practice with a skilled person in the car, and finally a licensing test. The DMV has made sure to educate the American driver to prevent accidents and fatal car collisions (thank goodness), but how come having children or getting married requires so little attention?
Similarly to driving, many people grow up with the future plans of marriage, excited to find a life partner, and to be committed. The success rate of marriages continues to drop in our country, yet there is little encouragement to attend marriage classes. A marriage is a special life long commitment, an agreement in which two people dedicate their lives to each other. The dream of a relationship becomes reality for many, however the training wheels of effective communication was not as clearly defined or taught. Premarital therapy and marriage counseling are a few ways people use to build healthy relationships. Read More→
Relationship Advice: How to Cope with Conflict and Stress
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A man and woman are in the car coming home from dinner with their 3 year old asleep in the back seat. They get into the on-going discussion that goes in circles, gets them no where. They both become agitated because neither one feels heard, and the more they try to work out the issue, the more hurt and angry both become. They arrive home; husband goes upstairs to watch television to zone out and decompress. After putting the child to bed, the wife goes into the kitchen; she begins to clean dishes, she angrily thinks about how “he still doesn’t get it” and “how come he won’t simply come downstairs and talk to me.” Read More→
Premarital Counseling: The Importance to Building a SOLID Foundation
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Premarital counseling is a preventative tool, a way to maintain a healthy connection in the relationship and create a lasting commitment through effective communication. Relationships are an investment: the more you put into it, the more it will grow and mature. The more it grows and matures, the more you get out of it. Because statistics show that nearly 50% of marriages end in divorce (US Census Bureau, February 2002), premarital counseling can help couples avoid becoming part of that percentage. Read More→
Simple Relationship Advice: Helping couples stay Connected
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Just a few words of advice….
Love isn’t the only thing a relationship needs to stay alive. It needs attention, emotional security, and effective communication. Read More→
Get To Know Your Relationship Expert & Therapist
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I am a wife, a therapist, an adventure junky, a joker, a writer, a social butterfly, a motorcycle lover, a runner, and a busy bee.
I was once told that I wasn’t going to make it into graduate school and I wouldn’t be able to have a thriving private practice. I like challenges, so I took that challenge and proved them wrong. I am passionate and willing to take a risk for my life goals, dreams, and aspirations. My life long dream was to have a private practice….and I got it! Not only did I achieve my goal, but I bypassed my expectations.
I could tell you about the boring stuff…like being a Marriage Therapist in San Diego, and give you the “psycho-babble” jargon, but I would prefer to have you know ME, the person behind the scenes.
I sit in this brown swivel chair in my office, absorbing as much information as I can when I am with my clients. My goal is to really understand their world. My mind gets filled with movie images as they walk me through their lives, catching me up to speed. My heart dives in, and off we go. I don’t take sides…and I WON’T take sides. And I won’t pick who is “right” and who is “wrong;” couples already do enough of that. I don’t need to keep them stuck in that rut. So I try to take the couples out of their destructive ways of communicating, and into a new lens of the bond…creating a safe, secure bond. Read More→
Infidelity Advice: How to trust after the affair
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Rebuilding trust can be extremely difficult, especially for the deceived partner.
Rebuilding trust requires the involvement of both participants in the relationship.
Initially, the person who shattered the trust will need to work hard to build the trust back. Showing remorse, being consistent, and understanding their partner’s pain are all very important in building trust. The unfaithful participant will need to teach their partner that they can be a trustworthy and an emotionally safe person.
The partner who was deceived, on the other hand, will also need to do some work to build the trust. These simple steps will help this participant to begin rebuilding the shattered foundation of the relationship. Don’t just shove this all under the rug and pretend nothing happened. Here are a few tips on how to take steps on learning how to trust your partner again after the affair: Read More→
conflicting couples, affairs, communication struggles, etc.
