Archive for Raw Relationship Issues
Is my partner cheating on me?
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Do you get that feeling inside your body that “something just isn’t right” in the relationship? Or do you constantly have those annoying and intrusive thoughts run in your mind? “Is he/she cheating? Is there someone else?”
This horrific feeling of worry and mistrust can feel awful and even paralyzing. It can through off your complete mood for the day and make it challenging to focus on your daily tasks.
Let’s take a step back and look at what is going on beneath the surface….
Often in a relationship we find that in the beginning there is an overwhelming sense of connection, happiness, and fulfillment. But then something happens. A few “red flags” pop up, a moment or two of concern, which usually just get pushed aside because of the love and connection. Unfortunately the story doesn’t always end there. For some, and possibly in your case, later on down the road your partner’s stories’ don’t seem to match up or make sense, and a real sense of concern starts to set in.
For many in this situation the investigation then begins… Read More→
How to keep your Body Image from Hurting The Relationship
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Are you the type of person that stands in front of the mirror reviewing your body? Do you scrutinize every little detail that you hate on your body, such as your “hello kitty” arms, or your “used-to-be-so-flat-mommy-belly?” Do you find that know matter how many times you hear from your partner that he loves your body, or comments from others that you are tiny, it just doesn’t seem to be enough? Are you destroying your relationship because you are facing a struggle with your body? This body image can get in the way of dating and maintaining relationships.
Relationships tend to suffer severely when you become engulfed in your self image. The endless hours of exercise and self absorption can prevent you from connecting to your loved one. Read More→
Get your New Year’s Resolution to Stick!
Posted by: | CommentsMake your New Year’s Resolutions lasts!
Creating a New Year’s Resolutions is to help people improve life; such as losing weight, decreasing spending, improving health, creating stronger business, etc. A frequent problem is that people start off strong; working diligently day in and day out, and have it as an extreme focus. It lasts for a good few days or months, but quickly dwindles down to nothing. This is the “Yo-Yo Resolution;” starting from one extreme (all-in) to the other extreme (all-out). Read More→
Best 50 Relationship Tips of the Year
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I started this year out using my social networking as a place to share free relationship tips to others. For some people, twitter is a huge community and support network. For other people, it isn’t their cup of tea. As a business owner (and a therapist), I decided to create a place for support, providing relationship tips and tools on social networking sites. I thought it would be great to highlight some of my favorite quick tips.
Here are my BEST 50 posts of year 2010 I posted on Twitter.
- Don’t hibernate alone when feeling sad, bring a buddy into your cave to cuddle up with and stay warm.
- Your partner should be your “prince” or “princess”…nothing less. Treat them that way and find out how it helps the relationship!
- Trauma (loss, miscarriages, cancer, etc) can bring back old relationship pains and magnify the problems. Take action to heal the pains & bond.
- Any sentence with the word “BUT” attached will delete the first part of the sentence. “I like you, but…..” Just don’t use the word… Read More→
Turkey Trot: What are you thankful for?
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Thanksgiving is right around the corner, so I ask you…. What are you thankful for today?
All too often we tend to get caught up in our world of selfish and materialistic ways. The hustle and bustle of our daily routines become all encompassing, and leave very little time to stop and breath. But during this time of year, with the giving of thanks coming up on us, now more than ever is the time to truly be thankful. And maybe even give back.
Are you thankful for the roof over your head? For the fact that you are still gainfully employed in this weakened economy? For living in a country where we can still act how we want, say and do as we want, and be considered free? You see, you can walk on nearly any block in downtown San Diego where there are far too many people without homes or jobs. I wonder what they are thankful for….
Are you thankful for the love you have recently found? Or your children that give you life’s greatest pleasures? Or your family who is the rock of who you are today? When you sit down and really think about what makes you so thankful today, what comes to your mind? Read More→
Relationship Advice: What is an Emotional Affair?
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It all started with an innocent friendship, a simple flirty comment and WHAMO! Chemistry takes over and your internal world ignites on fire, you get excited, and your mind races a thousand miles a minute. Emotional affairs don’t include physical intimacy….it is basically all emotion.
Here are a few items that constitute an emotional affair: Read More→
$20 (or less) Date Night Tips: Recession-Proof your Marriage (Series 2)
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Every one (and I think I can say this as a blanket statement) is impacted in one way or another from the economic stress; businesses closing, loss of jobs, constant worry about job security, foreclosing the home, friends struggling, or simply the news telling you another bad thing. Anxiety may be higher than ever, but this doesn’t mean you have to stop connecting with your partner. In fact, this is the time to support one another through the stress and help alleviate the pain.
A few years back, my husband was in school and I was starting my therapy practice. We didn’t have much money at the time, yet we realized the importance of nurturing the relationship. We started a game called $20 Date Night where every Friday night we switched off with creating the date. The goal is to create a date with only spending $20 or less. To our surprise, we came up with many dates; it just took imagination and creativity. To this day, we continue or date night challenge… Read More→
Relationship Advice: Secrets in a Relationship
Posted by: | CommentsWhy do some women tend to keep secrets from their husbands?
Women tend to keep secrets from their husbands for a variety of reasons; it could be from intense amounts of shame, to fear of losing the relationship, to past relationship wounds, to the fear of the packed away emotions exploding out and losing control, etc.
Some secrets are buried for good reasons….and keeping that secret hidden, kept inside can create a sense of feeling in control and emotionally safe. These deep, dark buried secrets are scary for many to open up and share the vulnerable issue. It can feel as if they won’t be able to maintain control, and that the over flowing emotions may not ever have an “end” in sight. It can simply be scary to open up, to feel the emotion. Feeling the emotion alone can be terrifying, and the unknown of what could happen if they open up Pandora’s Box…and not ever being able to put it back. Read More→
A Matter of Being Honest: A Deeper Intimacy For Couples
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I attended a social excursion, recently, wherein I was put on notice by a friend with “you want me to be completely honest with you? Well here goes . . .” Not only did this make me nervous, I braced myself for a barrage, and my fears came true, as a barrage of insulting conjecture came flying forth with a fierceness, I had not yet experienced with my friend.
Often times, couples will come into my office, with a chasm between them seemingly a lifetime long. They display and report hurt and distance and fear and distrust. They go round and round and argue utilizing the same phrases and statements, and tell me these are the same arguments they have at home. Repetitive. Unproductive.
When it is time for apologies, they are often cerebral exercises, “I am sorry” typically stated by the husband and the response is typically the wife stating, “yes, I’ve heard all this before.”
There is often follow up questioning, typically by the wife “but why, why did you do it in the first place?” and there is the husband’s typical come back “I am sorry, I won’t do it again.” Read More→
Listen or Give Advice? How to determine which way to respond to your partner or friend
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Sometimes our partner, friend, or family member might share a stressful story, discuss their daily struggle, or express concerns about a topic…. But you have no idea what response might be the proper one. How do you know what they need during a chat, whether it’s just a willing an ear to listen or to give constructive advice? This is no simple task…no matter if it is for friendships or intimate relationships. Read More→
conflicting couples, affairs, communication struggles, etc.