Archive for Couples
How to keep your Body Image from Hurting The Relationship
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Are you the type of person that stands in front of the mirror reviewing your body? Do you scrutinize every little detail that you hate on your body, such as your “hello kitty” arms, or your “used-to-be-so-flat-mommy-belly?” Do you find that know matter how many times you hear from your partner that he loves your body, or comments from others that you are tiny, it just doesn’t seem to be enough? Are you destroying your relationship because you are facing a struggle with your body? This body image can get in the way of dating and maintaining relationships.
Relationships tend to suffer severely when you become engulfed in your self image. The endless hours of exercise and self absorption can prevent you from connecting to your loved one. Read More→
Relationship Advice: What is an Emotional Affair?
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It all started with an innocent friendship, a simple flirty comment and WHAMO! Chemistry takes over and your internal world ignites on fire, you get excited, and your mind races a thousand miles a minute. Emotional affairs don’t include physical intimacy….it is basically all emotion.
Here are a few items that constitute an emotional affair: Read More→
A Matter of Being Honest: A Deeper Intimacy For Couples
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I attended a social excursion, recently, wherein I was put on notice by a friend with “you want me to be completely honest with you? Well here goes . . .” Not only did this make me nervous, I braced myself for a barrage, and my fears came true, as a barrage of insulting conjecture came flying forth with a fierceness, I had not yet experienced with my friend.
Often times, couples will come into my office, with a chasm between them seemingly a lifetime long. They display and report hurt and distance and fear and distrust. They go round and round and argue utilizing the same phrases and statements, and tell me these are the same arguments they have at home. Repetitive. Unproductive.
When it is time for apologies, they are often cerebral exercises, “I am sorry” typically stated by the husband and the response is typically the wife stating, “yes, I’ve heard all this before.”
There is often follow up questioning, typically by the wife “but why, why did you do it in the first place?” and there is the husband’s typical come back “I am sorry, I won’t do it again.” Read More→
By Jennine Estes, MFT
Is Facebook helping or hurting your relationship?
On a weekly basis I have clients sitting on my therapy couch and sharing how Facebook was involved in some part of their relationship. Some state that they use Facebook when they are feeling insecure in the relationship; investigating their partner’s activity with others, combing through the friends list in search for a red-flag person, searching for signs that the relationship is off-track, or looking for inappropriate comments. Other clients have stated that they watch their partner’s (or soon to be partner) relationship status as a sign of whether their relationship is in tack, broken-up, or in the works. Other people use it to keep an eye on their ex, to look up a crush, to share their relationship’s dirty laundry, or to addicted to the online banter, etc. The list is endless!
Facebook isn’t the problem….it is the relationship dynamics and our human reactions that get in the way.
Here are a few tips on how to prevent your relationship from getting hurt through the use of Facebook: Read More→
Get Your Relationship Un-Stuck and Back on Track
Posted by: | CommentsGet your Relationship Un-Stuck: By Jennine Estes
Relationships are full of ups and down, ins and outs. Some couples get caught on the “down” side and fall into the nasty hole of disconnection, loneliness, and dullness. In many ways, it can feel as if being stuck in a bottom of a ditch; nothing to grab onto to climb out, and the more work to dig your way out, the more dirt falls in. Many couples try to make repair attempts to climb their way out of the deep hole, but the more it barriers them with more issues to work through. Does any of this sound?
Getting caught in a ditch with no tools and no latter, can be exhausting. Couples simply need a bit of hope and team work to help them climb their way out. Here are a few simple steps you can do to begin spicing up your relationship and climbing out of the ditch: Read More→
Social Networking Series: The Facebook-Addiction and how to take back control
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You may have experienced the feeling when you sit in front of your computer working and you see an email from Facebook staring at you. You think to yourself, “I will make a quick response and then get right back on track with work and be productive.” But next thing you know, you are readying the hilarious posts from friends, responding to interesting conversations, and saying hi to friends you haven’t seen for a while. As your “quick” peak evolves into a long-long time, the facebooking feels “addicting.” Does this sound familiar?
I search through a few of my own Facebook (FB) posts in regards to the “addicting” feeling. Here are a few of my random posts: “Why is it that when I have a thousand things on the ‘to-do’ list, I find myself lost on Facebook?!?!” Or my humor (yet also somewhat serious) about the addiction of Facebook: “I think I might start a new therapy group called “Facebook-aholics Anonymous.”
My random posts on Facebook had a bit of humor, yet it also spoke the truth. I can feel and see how easy it could be to get lost for hours and become out of control. I can moderate with social networking, but what about those who can’t redirect or limit themselves, or for those who have more addictive tendencies? Read More→
Is “Bring Home the Bacon” Too Much in Your Relationship?
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by Jennine Estes, MFT
You may know the feeling of hitting the snooze button just a few more times before you have to face your work day. You look at your partner lying comfortably in the bed as you crawl out of bed. The day races and you face the ups-and-downs of your job. At the end of the day, you arrive home to your partner who spent a few hours searching for a job and the rest enjoying the day, and you notice frustration increases inside. Your eyes scan the house and notice the household chores that haven’t been done. Does this sound familiar?
“How to Make a Decision When We Disagree?” Couples Advice
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What should we do when we both feel right when we disagree? How should our disagreement be handled while making a decision? These questions are common….especially since “most marital arguments cannot be resolved,” stated by John Gottman in his book The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. To make a decision when both partners disagree is an issue I continue to see in my therapy practice.
I’m sorry to say that there isn’t a magic-wand to correct the issue, but there are a variety of things you two can do to come to a decision without creating conflict! Here are a few quick tips on making a decision: Read More→
Living Without a Label: A documentary on HIV/AIDs
Posted by: | CommentsSex Advice: How Sex Doesn’t Need to be a Chore
Posted by: | CommentsLadies….Sex Doesn’t Need to be a “chore!”
Countless women across the world feel as if sex is more like a job and less of a special bonding time. When sex feels like a requirement or an expectation, the desire to be intimate can quickly dwindle away. Not only can it feel like a job, the ongoing pressures and the mental “to-do” list over take the mind and become a prominent thought. Even further, woman experience sex as a hassle, avoids the topic at all cost, is self conscious of their body, and/or dislikes the sexual act itself. Does this sound familiar?
The physical bond of intimacy is the rawest form of feeling attached and connected for couples. But what happens to relationships when sex feels like a job? This job-like view of sex eliminates the special connection, it prevents women from enjoying the experience, and it builds distance between two people. Good news, sex doesn’t have to be a job, work, or a chore! Read More→
conflicting couples, affairs, communication struggles, etc.