Archive for Conflict Resolution
Is my partner cheating on me?
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Do you get that feeling inside your body that “something just isn’t right” in the relationship? Or do you constantly have those annoying and intrusive thoughts run in your mind? “Is he/she cheating? Is there someone else?”
This horrific feeling of worry and mistrust can feel awful and even paralyzing. It can through off your complete mood for the day and make it challenging to focus on your daily tasks.
Let’s take a step back and look at what is going on beneath the surface….
Often in a relationship we find that in the beginning there is an overwhelming sense of connection, happiness, and fulfillment. But then something happens. A few “red flags” pop up, a moment or two of concern, which usually just get pushed aside because of the love and connection. Unfortunately the story doesn’t always end there. For some, and possibly in your case, later on down the road your partner’s stories’ don’t seem to match up or make sense, and a real sense of concern starts to set in.
For many in this situation the investigation then begins… Read More→
Relationship Advice: What is an Emotional Affair?
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It all started with an innocent friendship, a simple flirty comment and WHAMO! Chemistry takes over and your internal world ignites on fire, you get excited, and your mind races a thousand miles a minute. Emotional affairs don’t include physical intimacy….it is basically all emotion.
Here are a few items that constitute an emotional affair: Read More→
Relationship Advice: Secrets in a Relationship
Posted by: | CommentsWhy do some women tend to keep secrets from their husbands?
Women tend to keep secrets from their husbands for a variety of reasons; it could be from intense amounts of shame, to fear of losing the relationship, to past relationship wounds, to the fear of the packed away emotions exploding out and losing control, etc.
Some secrets are buried for good reasons….and keeping that secret hidden, kept inside can create a sense of feeling in control and emotionally safe. These deep, dark buried secrets are scary for many to open up and share the vulnerable issue. It can feel as if they won’t be able to maintain control, and that the over flowing emotions may not ever have an “end” in sight. It can simply be scary to open up, to feel the emotion. Feeling the emotion alone can be terrifying, and the unknown of what could happen if they open up Pandora’s Box…and not ever being able to put it back. Read More→
A Matter of Being Honest: A Deeper Intimacy For Couples
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I attended a social excursion, recently, wherein I was put on notice by a friend with “you want me to be completely honest with you? Well here goes . . .” Not only did this make me nervous, I braced myself for a barrage, and my fears came true, as a barrage of insulting conjecture came flying forth with a fierceness, I had not yet experienced with my friend.
Often times, couples will come into my office, with a chasm between them seemingly a lifetime long. They display and report hurt and distance and fear and distrust. They go round and round and argue utilizing the same phrases and statements, and tell me these are the same arguments they have at home. Repetitive. Unproductive.
When it is time for apologies, they are often cerebral exercises, “I am sorry” typically stated by the husband and the response is typically the wife stating, “yes, I’ve heard all this before.”
There is often follow up questioning, typically by the wife “but why, why did you do it in the first place?” and there is the husband’s typical come back “I am sorry, I won’t do it again.” Read More→
Listen or Give Advice? How to determine which way to respond to your partner or friend
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Sometimes our partner, friend, or family member might share a stressful story, discuss their daily struggle, or express concerns about a topic…. But you have no idea what response might be the proper one. How do you know what they need during a chat, whether it’s just a willing an ear to listen or to give constructive advice? This is no simple task…no matter if it is for friendships or intimate relationships. Read More→
Improve your Relationship by Taking Care of Yourself
Posted by: | CommentsThe “How to Save my Marriage” by Self-Improvement First
Think about the time when you are on an airplane ready for take off and you hear over the intercom that in case of an emergency, air masks will drop….and parents to first put the air masks on themselves, and then put it on the baby. This concept is that you can’t save your baby if you don’t get your own oxygen. Baby’s need parents to be alive and taken care of so the baby can be tended to. This concept is the same for relationships. We have to tend to ourselves, make sure we are feeling good and emotionally stable, so that we can tend to the relationship. In order to save a marriage, we have to be living and breathing in a healthy and strong manner.
The more you feel confident in your own skin, the more the confidence will seep out your pours. Here are 5 Elements of Self Care: Read More→
By Jennine Estes, MFT
Is Facebook helping or hurting your relationship?
On a weekly basis I have clients sitting on my therapy couch and sharing how Facebook was involved in some part of their relationship. Some state that they use Facebook when they are feeling insecure in the relationship; investigating their partner’s activity with others, combing through the friends list in search for a red-flag person, searching for signs that the relationship is off-track, or looking for inappropriate comments. Other clients have stated that they watch their partner’s (or soon to be partner) relationship status as a sign of whether their relationship is in tack, broken-up, or in the works. Other people use it to keep an eye on their ex, to look up a crush, to share their relationship’s dirty laundry, or to addicted to the online banter, etc. The list is endless!
Facebook isn’t the problem….it is the relationship dynamics and our human reactions that get in the way.
Here are a few tips on how to prevent your relationship from getting hurt through the use of Facebook: Read More→
Get Your Relationship Un-Stuck and Back on Track
Posted by: | CommentsGet your Relationship Un-Stuck: By Jennine Estes
Relationships are full of ups and down, ins and outs. Some couples get caught on the “down” side and fall into the nasty hole of disconnection, loneliness, and dullness. In many ways, it can feel as if being stuck in a bottom of a ditch; nothing to grab onto to climb out, and the more work to dig your way out, the more dirt falls in. Many couples try to make repair attempts to climb their way out of the deep hole, but the more it barriers them with more issues to work through. Does any of this sound?
Getting caught in a ditch with no tools and no latter, can be exhausting. Couples simply need a bit of hope and team work to help them climb their way out. Here are a few simple steps you can do to begin spicing up your relationship and climbing out of the ditch: Read More→
Relationship Advice: How to Stop Interrupting
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Interrupting can be a bad habit….and it automatically shuts down lines of communication. When we are so eager and in hurry to get our point across, it is difficult to slow down and not interrupt the other person. The quick interjection and cutting off the other person sends out a bad message that they don’t matter. The receiving end can feel as if your invisible, what you have to say does not matter, and you’re not important. There are good intentions bind this approach, yet it unfortunately sends the opposite message.
Here are a few quick tips on how to stop the bad habit of interrupting: Read More→
Is “Bring Home the Bacon” Too Much in Your Relationship?
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by Jennine Estes, MFT
You may know the feeling of hitting the snooze button just a few more times before you have to face your work day. You look at your partner lying comfortably in the bed as you crawl out of bed. The day races and you face the ups-and-downs of your job. At the end of the day, you arrive home to your partner who spent a few hours searching for a job and the rest enjoying the day, and you notice frustration increases inside. Your eyes scan the house and notice the household chores that haven’t been done. Does this sound familiar?
conflicting couples, affairs, communication struggles, etc.