Dec
15
Holiday Advice: How to Handle “Scrooge” during the Holidays
By
The holidays are time for family get-togethers, enjoying family and friends, laughing, and exchanging gifts. But some families aren’t that lucky…and they get stuck with a “Scrooge.” It can be exhausting to be around pessimistic comments, hearing the views of holidays as bad, or being told about “what isn’t right.” These ongoing negative comments can, rub off and bring you down.
Don’t get stuck in that holiday slumps! Here are a few tips to survive the holiday:
- Filter the Comments: If a family member is negative, don’t let it dampen the mood. Instead of letting the comments keep you down, filter the comments and only allow in the goods statements.
- Stop the “Negative Radar:” When we are aware of how negative a person reacts, we tend to build the “negative radar” and notice every complaint. Instead, take off the “negative radar” and stop looking for the negative comments and reactions. Don’t make the negative comments the first thing you think about or look for. Focus your mind on the good things about the holiday, having fun with the other family members, and remembering the positive in the holiday.
- Shift Your View: Many people who are negative about the holidays often have a painful past or simply try to connect with others through self-pity and negativity. The problem here is that it hurts relationships, rather than creating a connection or handling the past pains. Shift your view and see that person as sad and attempting to connect with others (even though it doesn’t feel like it). Try to look at them from a new lens.
- Re-Energize: Take brakes throughout the day, calm your nerves, and re-energize yourself. When people get upset and bothered, the body reacts, it tightens up, and it takes shorter breathes. Take deep breathes, oxygenate your body, and calm down. If you notice getting agitated, take breaks away from the negative environment and step outside or taking “bathroom” breaks. A 5-10 minute break can help re-energize and help you get through the day.
- Play a game: Take a challenge with your partner and bet on how many times a negative comment comes out. Spice up the holiday a bit and play a game with it. Learn how to see it as funny and something that can tighten your bond with your partner. Make fun of the situation and don’t let it keep you down…. I dare you!
- Focus on the Goal: Remind yourself that there is an end and you get to go home. Focus on why you are there, instead of getting irritated. If your goal is to have a good holiday, make it happen! Don’t let other people get in your way.
Check out a related article about the holiday stress: Surviving the Holidays
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I have several uncles who are scrooges and every year I have dreaded attending our family get together because of all of the negativity that radiates from them .So you know what? This year I made a conscious decision to change my plans. I did not attend the official family gathering but went and spent time alone with my grandparents. I cooked a nice lunch for them and we had our own little gathering. there was so much more positive energy in the air for all of us that way and I think this is going to become our own little family tradition each year without the scrooges!
I like your coping skills and the solution that was thought up by therapist. I think we have to all be mindful that not everyone can be in high spirits or will be during the holidays. We may feel the need to try and change these peoples negative outlook but as we all know it is easier and more productive to work on how it bothers.