Several summers ago my husband I went to a local ski resort (yes, in the summer) where we went up the lifts, and then down the tails on our mountain bikes. It was a beautiful vista, with a bright clear sky, wind blowing at our face, and nature surrounding us. It was a beautiful day. Then my husband pushed me to my limits…by having me ride my mountain bike down narrow and rocky trails. I was terrified. I was afraid of getting hurt, so I tried my best to control the bike and the speed. The faster I went, the more fear I felt, and the more I tried to control the speed. The more speed, the more I had to use the brakes. Well, the more breaking you do going down a steep mountain with rocks, the more dangerous it becomes. I learned quickly…the more breaking, the more the bike seemed out of control.

I share this story to illustrate a common theme I see in relationships. The more we try to control uncomfortable situations, the more dangerous they become. Read More→