Relationships in the Raw: Tips to build healthy communication

We all know the story. On your wedding day, you are absolutely in love with your soon to be spouse. Most couples often feel a sense of absolute happiness, love, connection, and excitement. You may not look back on your wedding day with those exact feelings… but the next part of this story may sound more familiar. The bond probably seemed so tight that nothing could pull it apart…but, you learned otherwise. What happened to that bond after many years of routine and added responsibility such as children, work, bills, cleaning, health, and all of life’s other little obstacles? Somewhere the relationship got moved to the “back burner” and just surviving day-to-day life became the central focus. While you were living the daily American routine of working too much and trying to cope with Life’s ongoing struggles, the romance that sparked the marriage began to diminish.

I am going to teach you what you already know; marriage doesn’t have to be routine, boring and dry. It may not be easy, and it may not always be fun. How you experience saving your relationship often depends on…. Yes, you guessed it…You. Hopefully you and your significant other are both trying to fix things, but right now, this is about You. The following quick tips will help You get the romance to spark again:

1. Flare-up the Flirt: Find ways to flirt with your partner and show him/her you are interested in connecting with him/her. Try to show your playful mood where you can and have fun and connect in a flirting way. Spice it up a bit…I dare you.
2. Maintain the connection: We all know life gets busy… with late hours at work, taking kids to soccer practice, running errands, etc. Make your relationship a priority and schedule time each week alone together. Make this time together mutually enjoyable and a way to maintain your emotional connection. And yes…this means time away from the television. Create a time and place where there are no distractions and no responsibilities… just like it used to be.
3. Slow it down: You are probably well known for giving, giving, and giving some more. But, by the end of the night, you find yourself so exhausted from your day that you no longer have any energy for your partner. An easy way to help fight this relationship killer is to slow down and find ways to rejuvenate and re-energize throughout the day. Not only will you save your own sanity, but the more energized you are, the more you can be available for your partner at the end of the night.
4. Remember the past: Take a look back on how you used interact in your relationship. In the past were you overwhelmed with work and life? Or were you energetic, enthusiastic and ready to take on life’s challenges? Did you wait until 6pm to have a real conversation with your partner or did you call each other throughout the day? Think of what you used to do back in the good ol’ days and try to recreate some of those same themes.

If your relationship is missing the spark and you would like to build a healthier relationship, please visit My Website to schedule an appointment and learn more about how I work as a therapist.