Improve Self-Esteem: Building a more confident you

Self-esteem and confidence is basically an overall opinion of you and can impact daily experiences. Our level of self-esteem virtually affects all areas of life; the type of people you attract, your career building, your relationships, and other important areas.

People with an unhealthy self-esteem can often send a vibe that other people can pick up on. Imagine a woman sitting in a coffee shop; she constantly thinks of herself as unattractive, not good enough, and worthless. She feels down and overwhelmed. She compares herself with others. How does she appear? Does she sit tall or does she slightly slouch down and avoid eye contact? What type of vibe would she be sending? How would she present herself at work? Would she speak up in a conference or would she doubt her abilities? Now, take that same woman, but with a healthier self-esteem. She is aware of her potentials and her weaknesses, when she makes a mistake she doesn’t get down on herself, and she values and respects herself. She has less doubts about herself and she knows what she is able to do. How would she present herself? What would be different? With both examples, the woman hasn’t physically changed, but her self-image, the people she attracts, and how she behaves is probably severely different.

Having a healthy self-esteem impacts all areas of life and the people you attract. Creating a higher self confidence is a complicated area and can require a shift in your perceptions and thought processes. If your self-esteem is lower than you would like it to be, there is hope! Here are a few things you can do on your own to build your self confidence and create a healthier self-esteem:

• Retrain your Brain: Our brain can get used to thinking negatively, questioning our capabilities, doubt the possibilities, and worry. Your brain is probably trained and used to thinking with doubts and worry. Retrain your brain by thinking positively and accepting who you are with Positive Affirmations. When you first start retraining your brain, it will feel awkward and strange…but that is the point. You will be doing something new! Some examples of positive thoughts: “I know what I am doing,” “Nothing is wrong with me,” “I will be fine,” “I have a lot to offer.” Tweak these to focus on the areas you have difficulties. This is probably the most important aspect of building a stronger sense of self. Work on this daily. Accepting who you are will help develop a healthy self-esteem.
• Take a History Inventory: Review your history and take a deep look at the messages you got growing up. Did you get the message that you can accomplish anything you put your heart to? Or were you given the message that you have to be extremely careful at what you do and that you might mess up? Where you compared to your siblings or friends? Often times the messages we received growing up can severely impact our core self. Be more aware of the past messages and take a step to correct them.
• Build a New Inventory: Prove your negative thoughts wrong by accomplishing the tasks that you doubt. Take a risk. If you think that you won’t ever be able to get organized, make it a goal. Prove yourself wrong. The more you prove your fears and thoughts wrong, the more it will make a corrective experience.
• Notice what you have: Avoid comparing yourself with other people. Comparing will only point out what you “don’t have,” rather than noticing what you “do have.” Begin training your brain to notice what you have, what you do well, and avoid comparing yourself to others. You will never be the other person, so start accepting who you are as a person.

If you are struggling with an unhealthy self-esteem and want to make some changes, please contact me to schedule a therapy appointment.

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