Relationship Advice: Body Language Speaks Louder than Words

Have you ever wondered why your partner keeps hearing something totally different from what you are saying? The message you are sending may be very different from your words. In his book Silent Messages, Dr. Albert Mehrabian says that the majority of communication is through body language and tone of voice, not what is said. He calls it the “7%-38%-55% Rule.” Fifty-five percent of other people’s reactions to you are based on your facial expression, 38% based on your tone of voice, and only 7%of their reaction is from the words you are actually saying. While we usually know what we are saying, often we do not know what other messages we are sending through body language. Want to find out?

Be aware of your body language while you communicate with your partner. Do you appear to be interested, engaged in what your partner has to say? Or are your arms crossed with an eye brow raised, looking disgusted even while you are trying to say in words, “I care about what you are saying.” If the words you use conflict with your nonverbals – that is, your body language and tone of voice – your partner will believe the nonverbals every time.