5 Stages of a Breakup

surviving breakups

Breakups are painful and the end of a relationship is like a death. Major life shifts often leave us feeling out of control and grappling with ways to feel powerful as we redefine our lives. While a relationship may conclude on good or bad terms, every individual will reach closure in their own way.

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Why Premarital Counseling Should Be on Your To-Do List

premarital counseling todo list

Getting engaged is an exciting time! Why come down from Cloud 9 to discuss potential problems, right? Wrong! Now is the perfect time to discuss your needs in the relationship, including how they might be different from your partner’s needs and lead to conflict. You would check the foundation of a house before you buy it, and make repairs as needed before you move in. The same can be said of your marriage – you will have a stronger relationship if you identify and make adjustments before you sign on the dotted line.

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Date Night Advice: Five Strategies to Making it Unforgettable

Date Night Advice: Make Date Night Unforgettable. How to be a good date.

Think about what makes someone come home from a date night and tell their friends, "Wow, that was a great date! I had an awesome time and can’t wait to see them again.” While it might have been the wine or great music, it was most likely something more to it. Things that make a first date truly memorable are often found greater in the mental rather than the physical connections.

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Creative Innovative Date Night Ideas

creative innovative date night ideas

Are you running out of innovative date night ideas? I am here to help! It is always important to change things up in your relationship from time to time, and creative dates can be a great way to see a new side of your partner or reconnect your relationship.

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Conflict Resolution: How to Fix a Fight in a Relationship

communication advice san diego

Steps on How to Repair and Pick Up After a Fight

Let’s face it: in the heat of an argument you can say things that are hurtful, passive aggressive, or downright untrue. So can your partner. That’s the bad news. The good news is that it IS possible to pick up after a big blow out and repair your relationship, restoring it to a healthy place.

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Communication Advice: How to Practice Fighting Fair in Your Marriage

emotional affair

From an Emotionally Focused Therapy and Attachment Perspective - By Jen Zajac, IMF

There are some couples who fight explosively and often, and others who seem to rarely get into a heated argument. Perhaps you can recall separate relationships you have been in where each has had a different “fight dynamic”. Regardless of how you define what a fight is, we all at some point encounter conflict, or disagreements, in our relationships. If our emotional needs aren’t attended to, even the small things that get dismissed or “swept under the rug” can develop into larger issues later down the line. Merely avoiding a fight does not resolve conflict.

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5 Steps to Communicating Needs In Your Relationship

communication needs relationships

Asking for what you want: 5 steps to getting your needs met

We all have needs, but sometimes it can be difficult to convey these needs to our partners. We might struggle with how to communicate our needs or approach our partners. Our partners might misunderstand what we are asking for. Or we might simply fear what happens if our partners refuse to meet our needs.

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How to Cope with Trauma Triggers

trauma triggers strategies

Strategies and Tips

Most of us come out of childhood, or past relationships, with some sort of emotional trauma. It could be an absent or inconsistent parent, a physically abusive boyfriend, or a mother who was really critical. These past hurts will make it more difficult to trust and feel emotionally attached to others in the future. I call these hurts relationship traumas.

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Types of Trauma and Awareness

Types of Trauma and Awareness

From a Relationship and Attachment Perspective - By Jen Zajac IMF

A traumatic experience can be devastating, and can have serious emotional impact on an individual and how they emotionally attach to others. If left untreated, trauma can resurface unexpectedly in many areas of an individual’s life. In my therapy work with couples I see that trauma, in the current relationship or prior to, can cause blocks in bonding and leaves a partner confused about how to repair the bond.

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Vulnerability in Relationships

being loved is getting hurt

Being Loved Means Taking The Risk Of Getting Hurt

We are all human and we long for closeness and connection. In order to get the love we long for, it requires us to step out of our comfort box, take a risk, and possibly encounter getting hurt from time to time. The photo from the #BeingLOVEDIs campaign, created by Jennine Estes MFT, shows a woman expressing that #BeingLOVEDIs getting hurt.

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