How Do People Develop Eating Disorders?

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This is a very difficult question to answer and many researchers and scientists are still learning so much about these complicated disorders. BUT we do know it is rarely about the food or wanting to be thin. What? Yes, that’s right, there are many misconceptions about what causes an eating disorder in our society and they really are caused by a combination of factors including genetic, psychological, biochemical, cultural, and environmental.

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Estes Therapy Team’s Favorite Love Songs

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Get in the mood for date night connection.

It's Valentine's Day! We thought it would be fun to put together a list of some of our favorite love songs - whether they hold special meaning, like first dance songs, or just some catchy tunes that get us excited about love.

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7 Easy Date Night Recipe Ideas

7 Easy Date Night Recipe Ideas

The way to someone's heart is through their stomach

Okay, so there's a lot more to relationships than enjoying good food together, but a dinner date night is classic. Whether it's date 1 or 1,001 cooking together is a great way to connect or re-connect. You get to bond together cooking in the kitchen - or at least set time aside to sit down and enjoy each other's company. So turn your phones off, head to the kitchen, and get cooking.

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Don’t Be Afraid to Fight

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There are right ways and wrong ways to fight.

Often people worry that if they are fighting in their relationship that that means they do not belong together. But the truth is that fighting can actually help your relationship become healthier – if you do it right. Arguments, especially in the beginning of your relationship, help to define where the lines are. However, it is important to know what you are fighting about, to be clear about what is upsetting you, and to say what you really mean. Sometimes this is easier said than done.

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Worst Relationship Advice

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17 Examples of the Worst Relationship Advice We've Heard

We all like to give and get advice. We read it in magazines and articles online, we hear it on tv and from friends and family. Sometimes, the advice is not good, and can actually be harmful to a relationship or an individual. We put together a list of the 17 worst pieces of relationship advice we've heard, and an explanation to why each piece is not true.

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How to Handle Emotional Eating Over the Holidays

How to Handle Emotional Eating Over the Holidays

If you find yourself feeling stressed, anxious, or overwhelmed as the holidays draw near, you aren’t alone. ‘Tis the season for sugar cookies and stress!

For many people, this stress manifests itself as emotional eating, overeating, or a preoccupation with how we will make healthy choices amidst the sea of peppermint bark and spinach dip. All of these manifestations of stress take us out of the present moment and into our heads. That is not how we want you to remember your holiday season.

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7 Tips for Communicating What You Want from Your Partner in the Bedroom

7 Tips for Communicating What You Want from Your Partner in the Bedroom Estes Therapy Sex Talk Jackie MFT

Communicating about sex can be vulnerable

The truth is, communicating openly about sex can be a vulnerable- and sometimes tough- thing to do. For some, knowing where to start with these conversations can feel confusing and overwhelming. Because sexuality is such an important part of our identities and our relationships, being able to practice sitting in the vulnerability and have these open conversations with your partner is crucial.

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My Child Came Out To Me

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Are you unsure how to react to your child coming out to you?

I have had parents ask me this a few times now, so I thought it’s time to share some quick and easy guidelines about how to handle your child’s coming out. What is most important is your relationship with your child. How you react to something that they hold fear or uncertainty around can greatly influence that relationship. You might be nervous about how to handle this for fear of pushing your child away. They have entrusted you with a part of their identity that they may hold anxiety or fear around. They are looking for you to be a safe space, to continue to accept and love them, and to not treat them any differently.

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Four Divorce Predictions and Their Antidotes

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After over 40 years of research, Dr. John Gottman has seen four main predictors of divorce and unhappy relationships.

Divorce or separation doesn’t come without warning. You or your partner isn’t going to go to sleep completely happy with your relationship and then wake up the next morning and think “never mind” for no reason. So what should you be looking out for? Criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.

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Six Steps for Dating Your Spouse Again

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How to keep focus on your relationship - even after marriage

With crammed schedules and the balancing act of work, kids, family, stress, and maybe even a little self-care time, becoming ‘autopilot partners’ can be SO easy. With the autopilot left on over time, your spouse can begin to feel like a roommate.  This can lead to falling into routines of disconnection that end up hurting you both. Being intentional about dating your spouse will not only work to keep you close and connected, it will also buffer your relationship against negativity- making those inevitable tough conversations a little bit easier. Plus, dating each other again can be a lot of fun. Sounds like a win-win-win!

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How To Deal With Your Defensive Partner

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How do you stop defensiveness from harming your relationship?

Your partner hurt your feelings or crossed a line. You want to share how you feel, but you never feel heard. Better yet, you have tried so many ways to talk about your feelings and get nowhere. They respond with explanation and frustration. They may say, “I would have gotten that done sooner, but I was busy.” Or “You are always so critical.” While we can’t control how your partner responds, we can increase the chance that they will listen by communicating in a positive and constructive way.

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6 Steps to Prevent Your Partner’s Defensiveness

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Defensiveness puts up a wall in your relationship. Stop it before it starts.

A defensive person is emotionally closed off, argumentative, and often exhibits negative body language like crossed arms. They will deflect the conversation away from the original issue and either refuse to engage or launch loosely related counterattacks on their partner. This doesn't sound like the kind of person you would feel safe expressing your hurt or concerns with, does it? So how do you stop yourself or your partner from jumping to the defensive?

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5 Steps To Stop Looking at Your Ex’s Social Media Account

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Social Media and Break Ups

In this day and age, not only do we have the possibility of running into our ex's when we're out and about, but the ever-present social media makes checking up on them a constant option. You're killing time waiting in line or unwinding after work and the thought of "what is he/she up to" creeps into your head, and finding out is just one click away.

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