Types of Trauma and Awareness

Types of Trauma and Awareness

From a Relationship and Attachment Perspective - By Jen Zajac IMF

A traumatic experience can be devastating, and can have serious emotional impact on an individual and how they emotionally attach to others. If left untreated, trauma can resurface unexpectedly in many areas of an individual’s life. In my therapy work with couples I see that trauma, in the current relationship or prior to, can cause blocks in bonding and leaves a partner confused about how to repair the bond.

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Vulnerability in Relationships

being loved is getting hurt

Being Loved Means Taking The Risk Of Getting Hurt

We are all human and we long for closeness and connection. In order to get the love we long for, it requires us to step out of our comfort box, take a risk, and possibly encounter getting hurt from time to time. The photo from the #BeingLOVEDIs campaign, created by Jennine Estes MFT, shows a woman expressing that #BeingLOVEDIs getting hurt.

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Dating Long Distance

Dating Long Distance

How to Make it Work

Long distance love can be difficult, but it’s not necessarily a relationship death sentence. If you are really committed to someone, then there are ways to sustain your connection until you can live in the same city. Some couples maintain a long distance relationship for years, especially when professional opportunities don’t make it easy to get close. Here are some ways to stay connected to your loved one even when the miles keep you apart.

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Relationship Advice: How to Stop Snooping

Relationship Advice: How to Stop Snooping

Don't create more distrust in your relationship

The moment you have a suspicion that your spouse is cheating or something just “isn’t right,” you might be tempted to start going through his things. Maybe you scroll through his text messages, or hack into his email. These invasions of privacy, often called “snooping” or “creeping” will probably come back to haunt you. If your partner finds out that you snooped through his stuff, it can just create a bigger issue than you already have. When you lack trust in the relationship, here are some things you can do instead of snooping.

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3 Ways to Stop Being Defensive

stop being defensive

When your partner brings up something that is bothering her in your relationship, it can be easy to put up a wall and start to defend yourself. But what if you took a deep breath and were careful about how you responded? Your partner is being vulnerable when she tells you something that hurt her, so shutting down with defensiveness will only teach her not to open up in the future. Here are some ways that you can learn to stop being defensive and own up to your own feelings and responsibility.

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How to Deal With Fear in Your Relationship

stop being defensive

Overcoming the Obstacles that Keep You Stuck

Many arguments between couples have fear at the heart. Whether it’s fear of abandonment, fear of being rejected, or a fear of falling apart – sometimes you can lash out at the person who you want to keep the closest to you. Even though the fight might look on the surface like it’s about something else, if you look close enough you can often find that some sort of fear is hiding just under the surface. By managing your fears, you can begin to calm the storm that has begun in your relationship and heal the wounds. Here are some tips for how to conquer the fear in your relationship so you can move into a healthy direction.

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Do You Have Anxiety? How to Keep Your Relationship Strong

anxiety

Don't Let Anxiety Take Over

If you suffer from anxiety it can be hard to maintain a strong bond with your partner. When you are freaking out and he or she tries to get close, your fear might tell you to push your partner away. In reality, it’s important to learn to turn to your partner and gang up together against your anxiety, but this might not come naturally.

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In a New Relationship? MUST HAVE Conversations for Social Media

In a New Relationship? MUST HAVE Conversations for Social Media

Here's the Social Media Conversation You Need to Have

When you’re in a new relationship there are some necessary conversations when it comes to social media. In this day and age, there are just so many chances for miscommunication, over sharing, or crossing boundaries when it comes to online activity. So that you don’t thwart a new romance by doing something on social media that offends or confuses your partner, here are some conversations you should always have about social media behavior.

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Newlyweds: The First Year

simple relationship advice counseling

Issues to Consider

A lot of shows on the Bravo network only provide a guilty pleasure, but a new show caught my eye because it deals with the first year of marriage, which can be a challenging time for any couple. The series follows four couples for a year, all of whom are in very different situations. They deal with issues like money, sex, a short courtship, familial approval of the relationship, and control. I will be writing up a blog each week as the episodes unfold, and talking about the issues that come up.

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5 Ways to Prevent a Fight

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Quick tips on how to stop fighting in a relationship

Arguments in relationships become a cycle — when a specific pain point or topic gets brought up, one partner gets defensive and the other pushes to get the point across. One partner might always flee, and then the other has to chase him. You might also experience arguments more when one person is exhausted after a day at work. These patterns become a comfortable cycle, even though they may be detrimental to your bond as a couple.

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