Relationship Don’t #1
Don’t avoid drama with your partner at all costs. You might think that you are helping the relationship by not rocking the boat, but this will only let the issue grow and resentment fester. Approach your partner in private and describe how you’re feeling without calling names or placing blame. You’ll actually grow closer by getting through the disagreement!
Non-communication is one of the key factors when it comes to what to avoid in relationships.
Relationship Don’t #2
Avoid using absolute language such as “You always” or “You never.” These phrases are rarely true and can generate more arguments. They also will put your partner on the defensive – where it will be harder for them to listen to what you’re saying because they will be trying instead to defend themselves. Stick to specific examples of the behavior you would like to see change. Instead of using an absolute phrase, start out with “When you did…” and talk about one specific incident. And make sure to follow up with “I felt…” and explain why it was hurtful.
Arguments and disagreements are bound to happen in every relationship. How you handle them will set the tone for how you communication in the future.
About Jennine Estes, MFT
Think of me as your relationship consultant, I'm your neutral third party that can help you untangle the emotions and help you figure out what's really going on. I am a Marriage and Family Therapist in San Diego, CA. Certified in Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples. Supervisor. I write relationship and self growth advice for my column Relationships in the Raw. Creator of #BeingLOVEDIs campaign. MFC#47653