Premarital counseling is not just for couples in severe distress. It can also help you build a strong foundation from the start, and learn how to communicate better with each other. Sometimes what seems like a small issue has the potential to grow into a substantial wedge and you don't realize it just yet. This is another one or the reasons to get premarital counseling -- your therapist may see some red flags and point them out to you.
If you have committed to getting married, here are some of the reasons that seeing a professional counselor before the wedding day can be a good idea.
1. Build a Strong Foundation
Think of premarital counseling as a flight course, teaching you how to handle turbulence and learn foundational skills that will be needed in a marriage. Premarital counseling will help you build a strong foundation for your future marriage. If your foundation is shaky, your relationship can be more prone to major cracks and breaks down the road — just like a house.
2. Talk About Expectations
Premarital counseling is a great venue to openly talk about your expectations for anything from finances to sex. Your counselor can help you identify areas where a problem might crop up and give you the opportunity to work on a compromise now, before you’re married. You might not realize that your spouse thinks you should stop seeing your friends for happy hour once you’re wed, and it’s better to talk about that now versus later!
3. Work on Conflict Resolution
Relationship issues that are present before marriage won’t just disappear the day after the wedding. Premarital counseling is essential if you’re fighting has been bad, or there are emotional wounds in the relationship. Therapy is a safe place where you can open up about conflicts and learn to communicate in a non-attacking way. Your counselor may even see some issues that you were blind to. Don’t feel bad about this, but take the counselor’s advice seriously and use it to build better communication and conflict resolution.
About Jennine Estes, MFT
I am a Marriage and Family Therapist in San Diego, CA. Certified in Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples. Supervisor. I write relationship and self growth advice for my column Relationships in the Raw. Creator of #BeingLOVEDIs campaign. MFC#47653