It is very important to show your partner that you are trustworthy. Trust really is the foundation of your relationship -- it allows you to feel vulnerable and be honest with each other. In the beginning of a relationship, or after trust has been broken, you will need to build the trust. Here are a few quick tips.
Follow through with what you say
If you tell your partner that you will be home by 8:00pm, come home no later than 8:00pm. If you are going to be late, call and let him or her know ahead of time. When your partner learns he can trust you on small issues like when you’ll be home for dinner, it makes it easier for him to start to trust you on bigger issues too.
Don’t be unrealistic
Avoid saying that you will “always” have your cell phone on or you will “never” turn your phone off. This is unrealistic. Sometimes your phone will die or you might forget it or just not hear it ring. Instead, tell your partner that you will try your best to answer the phone. And then… follow through with what you say.
Let your partner in
If you have an emotional wall up, you will hide things and this creates a suspicious feeling within your partner. Avoid the suspicious behavior and be an open book. The more open you are, the more trust you can build.
Keep your eyes on your goal
Body language speaks louder than words… and so does your eye focus. If you are talking to your partner and a beautiful woman walks by, keep your eyes on your partner. If your goal is to build trust, then your actions have to show it. Letting your eyes wander will only make your partner feel self-conscious and arise suspicions about how you act when the two of you are not together.
Make time for communication
Communication can create a safe and comfortable feeling in your relationship. The more you communication how you are feeling, both good and bad, the more your partner can trust that you will always bring up issues that matter and speak openly about problems.
Building trust can involve a variety of issues within the relationship. If you have a history of broken trust in your relationship, it might take more than practicing these behaviors to restore it. You will have to resolve the past so it doesn’t interfere with your current behaviors. Working with a professional therapist can help; a counselor will listen to both sides of the story and help you work together to establish guidelines for your relationship that create safety and trust. I would like to help you work on building a secure foundation in your relationship through couples counseling/therapy. Give me a call to schedule an appointment (619) 471-7104.
About Jennine Estes, MFT
Think of me as your relationship consultant, I'm your neutral third party that can help you untangle the emotions and help you figure out what's really going on. I am a Marriage and Family Therapist in San Diego, CA. Certified in Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples. Supervisor. I write relationship and self growth advice for my column Relationships in the Raw. Creator of #BeingLOVEDIs campaign. MFC#47653