How do you stop defensiveness from harming your relationship?
Your partner hurt your feelings or crossed a line. You want to share how you feel, but you never feel heard. Better yet, you have tried so many ways to talk about your feelings and get nowhere. They respond with explanation and frustration. They may say, “I would have gotten that done sooner, but I was busy.” Or “You are always so critical.” While we can’t control how your partner responds, we can increase the chance that they will listen by communicating in a positive and constructive way.
Defensiveness puts up a wall in your relationship. Stop it before it starts.
A defensive person is emotionally closed off, argumentative, and often exhibits negative body language like crossed arms. They will deflect the conversation away from the original issue and either refuse to engage or launch loosely related counterattacks on their partner. This doesn't sound like the kind of person you would feel safe expressing your hurt or concerns with, does it? So how do you stop yourself or your partner from jumping to the defensive?
What is EMDR and What should I expect?
EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. This research-based therapy technique is most beneficial to those seeking treatment for trauma and anxiety. When someone experiences an extreme negative reaction or feeling in response to a certain situation or memory, EMDR is used to help replace the negative emotions with more relaxed reactions. Ultimately, EMDR offers relief and a more positive outlook in facing similar types of stressors.
Use technology to help build your self-esteem
Self-esteem is something we've all struggled with at times. Sometimes you feel like you're in a rut and need some help getting back into believing in yourself, sometimes you just feel like you need a boost in confidence but aren't sure how to get it. With high self-esteem we are more inclined to make better decisions, take better care of ourselves, and explore our full potential.
Our phones have become an essential part of our day, so why not use them to help us build our self-esteem?
Sometimes we need a little extra help with our meditation.
Sometimes life just keeps adding on to you and if you don't learn to let it go it can feel like a heavy weight is being put on your back wherever you go. Through meditation, we can expel some of this stress and some of the negativity. Meditating allows you to calm yourself and focus. If you're having trouble remembering all the things you need to do, having trouble sleeping, facing creative blocks, or feeling out of control of your emotions, meditation can help. Another big plus... It's free and you can do it anywhere! But if you're having trouble making it a habit or getting started, try out these apps.
Find out if you have become addicted to your coping practices and how to address it.
Habits are a part of an individual’s life. You are defined by the rituals you follow, the activities you participate in, the things you return to in times of happiness and stress, the relationships you keep, and above all the state of mind you maintain. Having a healthy lifestyle involves maintaining a balance between oneself and the practices one engages in. Too often, this balance gets skewed toward self-destructive behavior; many even become addicted to poor habits.
Overcoming the Obstacles that Keep You Stuck
Many arguments between couples have fear at the heart. Whether it’s fear of abandonment, fear of being rejected, or a fear of falling apart – sometimes you can lash out at the person who you want to keep the closest to you. Even though the fight might look on the surface like it’s about something else, if you look close enough you can often find that some sort of fear is hiding just under the surface. By managing your fears, you can begin to calm the storm that has begun in your relationship and heal the wounds. Here are some tips for how to conquer the fear in your relationship so you can move into a healthy direction.
Don't Let Anxiety Take Over
If you suffer from anxiety it can be hard to maintain a strong bond with your partner. When you are freaking out and he or she tries to get close, your fear might tell you to push your partner away. In reality, it’s important to learn to turn to your partner and gang up together against your anxiety, but this might not come naturally.
How joining the circus just might change your life.
Finding a passion in your life can do worlds for your self esteem and state of mind. Whether it’s a sport, hobby, doing some sort of crafting project, or literally joining the circus – finding something you are truly invested in helps you find joy and fulfillment in your life. What’s even better is finding a group of people who also have the same passion. When you have a common interest with a group of people, a family can form, which will serve as a support system during the best and worst times in your life. Here's how to build self esteem by leveraging your hobbies and neighbors.
One woman's story about how she's coming to terms with infertility and her feelings about childlessness
Deciding whether or not to be a parent is not an easy choice to come by, and sometimes our decision on the subject can fluctuate -- even within the same day. Other times, we are not given the choice to have biological children, but can still choose to adopt. Below is the story of a friend of mine, who wishes to remain anonymous. She wanted to share her feelings on what it's like to be uncertain about becoming a parent, and how sometimes being childless is a choice, while other times it's an unintended circumstance.