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10 Successful Ways to Improve Intimacy
Ask any happy couple what keeps the intimacy strong between them, and you’ll more than likely hear that communication is the foundation of a successful relationship. You wouldn’t try to drive a car without filling the gas tank, and you shouldn’t attempt to nurture a relationship without honest, open communication.
Intimacy isn’t simply in the bedroom; it starts in the morning, grows throughout the day, and ends when you fall asleep. Intimacy is an all-encompassing word with sex being merely an offshoot. Intimacy is a substance that supplements the healthiest relationships by allowing partners to share their physical and emotional selves.
If you find it in yourself to be more emotionally intimate in your relationship, both you and your loved one will definitely reap the rewards in the bedroom!
Here are ten ways to increase and maintain intimacy in your relationship:
1. Compromise when in disagreement. When you and your partner aren't seeing things eye-to-eye take it upon yourselves to reach a happy medium you both can agree with. Ask each other, "What would make us both happy?".
2. Spend a MINIMUM of 30 minutes a day focusing on your partner. Spend this time with your full
attention honed in on your partner. This could take place at the dinner table, in the family area/living room with the TV off, cuddled in bed, etc... Eliminate interruptions such as children, roommates, and friends, so you can take the time to find out how his or her day went and share how your day was.
3. Plan a date night. Date night helps kindle intimacy. Get dressed up for one another, spend time focusing on one another, and laugh together.
4. Empathize and validate your partner. Make sure to show empathy when you are in disagreement, monitor your tone of voice, and validate your partner by letting him or her know you don’t think he or she is "crazy" for how he or she feels.
5. Show curiosity and interest in your partner. Showing interest and curiosity not only helps your partner feel important and special, but also entices him or her to do the same towards you! Imagine how great it feels when your partner intently listens to what you have to say, and do the same for your partner.
6. Surprise your partner with an activity that the two of you can do together. Try hiking, picnics,board/card games, etc...
7. Leave love messages around the house. Write things you admire about your partner on sticky notes and hide them in places you know he or she will find them.
8. Point out all the positive. If you acknowledge and reinforce that which you appreciate about your partner, you will find he or she will eagerly repeat the desired behavior instead of feeling down from belittlement.
9. Show your partner that you respect him/her. By listening, avoiding critical language, and decreasing your anger (intonation and context), you will show your partner that you have the utmost respect for his or her thoughts and feelings.
10. Stop critical language. "You should...," "You must...," "You are too...," "You never...," "You always..." are examples of how we point our fingers at our partners while telling them they are not right. Give your partner a chance and let him or her carry things out the way he or she would like.
If you have tried all of these means of increasing and maintaining intimacy and feel as if there is no hope, individual or couples relationship counseling can help you find and build the trust and intimacy in your relationship. I want to help you get your relationship back on track with the use of therapy. Give me a call to schedule a therapy appointment today.
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