Tools to Keep Your Grief From Breaking You Apart
Losing a child is quite possible the greatest pain you can experience in your life. The stress of the tremendous grief you must walk through is not only detrimental to your own personal mental health, but it can wreak havoc on your marriage. Men and women often grieve in opposite ways, and when you navigate through your pain differently than your spouse, sometimes it seems like you are in it alone. If you experience the unthinkable and lose a child, this is the time when you need most to turn to each other for support, even if your grief looks very different from your partner’s. Here are some ways to stay close as you go through the loss of a child.
Why Opening the Door Can Bring You Closer
Do you have a family secret that you have been harboring from your partner? Is it fear or embarrassment that keeps you from revealing the secret? Sharing a heavy family secret, such as molestation or physical abuse, is not an easy topic to discuss with anyone, let alone the one you love the most. Strangely enough…rather than scare your partner off, revealing a deep secret can help couples grow emotionally closer and build a better bond for their future.
How to make sure you don't adapt to unhealthy relationships
When I left America to live in Spain for a year, I couldn't always find toilet paper in the bathrooms. Something that most people in the US simply expect to be there could not be relied on, so I adapted. Everywhere I went, I kept tissue in my purse, and eventually it just became normal that I sometimes had to dip into my personal tissue stash. I learned to adjust to the situation. When I moved back to the United States, I had a reverse culture shock -- every bathroom had toilet paper and many also have paper towels. Something that I had thought of as "normal" and an expected convenience before I left for Spain suddenly took me off guard. I had a bit of "reverse culture shock" to something I knew was supposed to be there, but I learned to live without it.
Steps to share your concerns about her choice
When you watch you friend in a relationship that is less than healthy, it can feel pretty helpless. If she actually declares that they're going to tie the knot, you will feel even worse. It's like standing on the curb together and watching as she starts to step into the street.
Stop! Don't push him out the door when you should be fighting for the relationship
Do you push your partner away when you're in trouble? Sometimes when one partner is in pain, he or she will tell the other person to leave. Especially if your partner is the threatening to leave, your hurt feelings may cause you to react by saying, "Fine, just go!" You might mean that you want them to leave for the night or forever. In reality, many times when this happens you actually want your partner to stay and fight for the relationship -- you don't want them to go at all!
It's more than just saying "I'm Sorry" -- and here's why.
Saying that you're sorry after you know you've done something wrong is often not an easy task. You may have a hard time finding the right words, or be worried that the other person will reject your gesture. Even if you're anxious, the worst thing you can do is just say a generic "I'm sorry" without any feeling or sincerity.
Here is a mini-playbook of sorts. It doesn't include everything you need to know for a healthy relationship, but it's a good start.
Relationships are forever evolving, and every relationship is unique to itself. Each relationship you have in your life will be different in some way from any other relationship. Still, there are some basic rules to live by when it comes to relationships. Are you looking for some tenets to follow in your relationship?
What the photography expert Sean Capshaw has to say:
Getting photographs as a couple might seem like a trivial thing, but it can actually help you stay connected! Life gets chaotic, and in the rush of things sometimes keeping track of milestones or just celebrating your relationship gets lost in the shuffle. When couples have kids, they might put a focus on tracking their children's growth and not stop to take photos of themselves. Having photos to hang of just yourselves as a couple serves as a reminder of your bond.
Getting your emotional baggage out in the open can support a healthy relationship in the long run.
We all have emotional baggage going into a relationship. After all, you haven’t been living in a bubble until you met your partner. Our emotional baggage can get heavy when we carry it alone, so it helps to share the load with a trusted partner. On the other hand, you don’t want to disclose your entire past to someone on the very first date. So when do you start to unpack your baggage in a relationship and how do you get help with this intense task?